The Un-awards!
A [Stratakus] Production
Now Featured in the Elftown Dungeons
Most Recent Updated Award(s):Jailbait! [
sexygirl696]
And Introducing, the newest Un-Award!
The "Go Cry Emo Kid Un-Award!"
Awards given out for my own amusement. They've been earned by various means. I've made a description of what it takes to win each Un-Award, and then a description of why these people have won them. It's just that simple. Just know, the Awards are given to the house and not always does the award reflect my feelings about the true owners of the house. Just the content and impression given by the house itself.
And The Prizes Go To....
The Golden Bird Un-Award! is for those people who get on my nerves from the second I lay eyes on their houses. Being a
Patrollers member, I see
a lot of houses. Those who receive this can concider themselves in my personal
Dungeon of Idiots. These are the people that make me wish there was a screening process to join ET... but there isn't, so I have plenty of people to laugh at.
Why the HELL do these Morons Even Join Elftown!?
[Mommy to be.] I look, I look again, and I still can't figure out why the hell this bitch has a profile on Elftown. It's another in a long line of bitchy women (Referring to women who are bitches, not saying all women are bitches) who make a profile just to babble ON and OOOOON about how big of a bitch they are, and everyone should fuck off. You don't want to be judged but your whole description is describing you as being a bitch, so thanks, now I don't even need to judge you because you pretty much gave it to me straight. Go overdose on your long list of drugs with a dildo up your ass.
[sexy-n-sweet06] Occasionally I have to put someone here simply can't decide which Un-award describes them most. She's 15, Pregnant, types in ALL CAPS, Replaces e with 3, says BOi instead of Boy, uses broken links to make pink text and the whole description is just one long run on sentence...
[AccountKiller] This guy has serious delusions of grandeur. A Pacifist who spends most of the time talking about how he wants to kill people, very likely destined to become a serial killer. Luckily he's to busy masturbating to his own self importance to be a threat to anyone.
[slipknot rules iowa] Wow... Really just wow... this whole description is "I'm a junkie, life sucks, I want to kill everyone, fuck of and leave me alone..." I ask you. What the FUCK is the point in coming to an online community, with the theme of elves and nature and fantasy, to make a long stupid profile that pretty much tells people that though you are in a social community, you don't want people messaging you? Here's a tip. You're on the internet you dumb shit. Nobody gives a fucking damn how tough you type your words. Do jump in front of a bus and see how intimidated it is.
[idontfuckingcare] And here we have the perfect mate for the fucknut above. Writing us a lovely essay on how she's a bitch and how everyone should fuck off. There is no other point to this, no "Now that I'm done telling you to fuck off, Now I'll show you some GOOD qualities!" None listed, so I'll assume she has none. I don't hate you lady, I just pity you.
[SKULLHEAD] Soooo you think the guards aren't needed fucknut? Sooo if someone took a pic from your house and claimed it was theirs, you'de just sit back and look at with with no possible way to change it? Well the rules were created by [
Hedda], the first Elftowner and the owner who hand picked the guards to Enforce his vision to keep SLAPNUTS LIKE YOU FROM FUCKING IT UP! Freedom of speech ends when jackasses like you get in the way of other peoples freedoms. I'd rather have 10 Guards than a one jackoff like you on Elftown. One and only rule in Elftown is Dont' be an asshole. Assholes run Smear Campaigns.
[Cunt Crushing Death] Welcome to the club Baron Von Buttfuck. You've officially pissed me off without ever saying a single thing to me. First off with your "death to fat chicks" wiki, then with your annoying long house full of nothing but band logos. You're obviously not an artist and don't seem to have any purpose on this earth but to bleed to death from self inflicted wounds, depriving anyone else of the pleasure of getting to beat your face in with a shovel and then letting the overweight people you detest so much take turns walking over your rib cage followed by all of them on pogosticks bouncing on your by-then dead body.
[☆ тiffαηч-❤-иαtωαη ☆] A 12 year old. Wow. Youngest Un-Award winner (Megaloser) gets the most hateful Un-award. So what I could make of this tangled web if stupidity is she's obsessed with drugs, not a virgin, thinks she's in love, drinks, smokes and brags about it... And the verdict is in. Fire. This can only be cleansed with fire. A whole pit full of it. Fill it with gasoline so it burns good and long... Fire is the cleanser. ... and this "winner" is only getting filthier.
Go Cry Emo Kid Un-Award
These are not just ANY Emo Kids. They are the ones who define why people laugh at Emo culture. Multiple shots of taken from arms length held high over head, all looking the same with their oh so "original" face hiding hair, guys in skin tight girl pants, constant droning about suicide. I want the Creme de la Creme here!
The Hooked On Phonics Un-Award!
Winners Judged on lack of Capitols, Punctuation, paragraph's, and Judged on excessive use of Slang be it Ghetto, l33t or baby talk. I reccomend all the winners return to grade 1, which they seemed to have flunked out off, dropped out of, or just chose to forget their education.
[A native w/a vengance] The National guard wouldn't take her because of her tattoos? I think they just made that excuse up because unless the tattoo is on your face it's pretty easy to cover those things up. Maybe they just read, or attempted to, the application form and decided they needed literacy.
[Negatve creep] "owrite duids i gone go somewer and i gone die in pis" ... What a fitting end. Roughly translated, it looks like he's telling some Druids that he's gone and something about "dieing in piss". If my spelling were that bad, I'd seek Death By Piss too. Shitty Spelling, Pissy End.
The Jailbait Un-Award is for all those underage children who fill up their descriptions with how hot they are and how they want sex and how slutty they can be. I think Pedophilia is 50% caused by the children I give this award to.
[sexygirl696] All it takes is typing sexy into search to find these girls. Taking pictures of herself in her parents bathroom with her pants practically falling down. Original! ... yeah... Scared of Llamas? Well, I would wish for a llama to give you the sex you desperately crave, but llama penis is more like a long earth worm so it probably wouldn't even graze the walls of your 4 lane fun tunnel.
[sexy_thang06] is a classic case of mistaken race that seems to be common for children these days. Talking about ghetto booty, booty shorts and being gangsta. Lady, when your description is just a blurb on your body and you ask "anything else, just ask", it's opening the door to creepy old men, 13 year old boys and guys from Turkey begging to see you on webcam, though from the looks of things that is the whole point. Enjoy that. Nothing spells fun like a rousing game of "Who's You Daddy! 'Cause I Don't Know!"
[Blondey69] Just when you thought Elftown was free from little girls begging for teen pregnancy, this one comes along. Drawing section showing off her panties, wanting a boyfriend mention multiple times, wanting to see if someone will fuck her also present in the description.
Plaque design created by [
Doormat]
The Stoned Smacktard Un-Award is given to those children that brag about doing drugs as if killing & dulling your senses and acting like a jackass is supposed to impress us.
And this Un-Award goes to every single waste of natural resources at Stoners Unite.
And I must state, before I offend some of my friends, I've lived with a stoner and a hippie before. They were okay guys to live with. Laid back, pretty intelligent. It's not that these people do drugs that earns them this Un-award, it's that they seem to base their life around it.
[midnight toker] must have taken a wrong turn on the internet. I know for someone of his low IQ the green background can be very confusing, but this is not
www.weedguru.com. This is Elftown. So take your plant, and your ascii bong, light them on fire, insert into your rectum and go. You may come back on the condition it is to post pictures of smoke from the weed and bong in your ass coming out your ears, but then you must leave again.
[copper_jonny] And his picture showing off how he can smoke pot. Wow. You sure impressed me with your intelligence. I'm so astounded by your dignity and sure am glad that you're what the future has to look forward to as representative
s. Sarcasm rules.
[Phreakush] "Hey All I'm An Ex-Stoner Ready To Start Up Again" was this girls intro in Stoners Unite which I think merrited this award to her specificly... In otherwords, she decided to get back into smelling really bad just to join a wiki!?
[pots the shit] And what are you trying to tell us by repeating 'pot' over and over in your description? That you have less substance to you than the Jailbaiters who at least use more than one word in their description. Yep. Have fun amounting to your full potential of absolutly nothing in life.
The Peiner Wenis Un-Award! is for those people who use the internet to get laid. I mean seriously, in all honesty, even though the words "Spreads her legs" is on the screen, it's still your hand doing all the work. Quit lieing to yourself.
[**Im gonna bite you**HARD!!!] Seriously, the whole description says it all. In one sentence I have deduced this guy has no more to him than he is a short nazi who would enjoy a zombie invasion.
[lil-les-kim] Because without a picture, any annoying "lesbian" houses on elftown looking for cybering are considered 14 year old boys, This fucktard just comes into Elftown, an artist community surrounded by green and leaves and makes a description just telling guys to fuck off because "she" wants to find a cyber girlfriend, while stroking her 13 year old boy penis.
Waste of Bandwidth Un-award is given to those people with the detestibly long houses filled with nothing but picture after picture of them and their stupid ugly friends. I made a Wiki for my stupid ugly friends. It's not that hard so I'm assuming they're just to lazy or annoying me on purpose.
[abz6669] "i cant really be bothered puttin' a whole load of crap on the page" and then the rest of the page is a looooooong boring list of favorite things, most of them music or pointless quotes or surveys or music.
[XxLoTuS_LeTtExX] Elftown should really look into reducing the allowance of how many images can be put into a description. And also a ban on how many blank spaces can be between each line... **UPDATE** There was a limit put on it... But she was long gone but as an example of the iconic houses I'll leave this un-award here.
Feel Free to Nominate People
I'll evaluate them and see if I agree and post it here. I'll leave the nominators a secret so any slack will come directly to me. I can handle it.
Awaiting an Award
[SirTokeALot] Duuuuh, I'm a stoner! I like music! Here's all da music I like! ~Minces around like the winner of the special olympics~" Seriously these houses are getting Cookiecutter style. "Short description, then a band with a new line every single time. Is it just a space filler? It wouldn't be so god awesul bad if you used an , instead of the frikken space bar every time.
[EnigmaFlame] This guy has a pretty delusional self image, and not only speaking for his description but how he is in wikis too, such as showing up in joke wikis and role playing as if he's some of topic skulking evil person and acting out these fantasies of being oh so evil, when really it's just pathetic. It's like the pity you feel for the kid in school nobody wants to hang out with, but not enough pity to actually want to hang out with him either.
[Reno Sinclair] What is reason? Seriously. No art, no pictures, just... "Message me, Ass Sex, Hate Women" What are you doing on Elftown? Go back to MySpace.
[Big Pimp Coop] No explanation needed... just look at this kids house... the first pic I saw of this kid was him an his scrawny self having a bubble bath... And from the looks of it, both hands are under water so his mommy must have taken the picture... What child over the age of 8 needs his mommy to give him a bubble bath, let alone take pictures of it?... I think I'll start a Misc. Wanker Un-Award... Oh and take his poll.
Notice
Don't like what I'm doing here? Well you have two options. Ignore it like I'll most likely end up ignoring you, or you can proove my opinion of you wrong in an intelligent manner, though I highly doubt that'll work so you're better off just building a bridge and getting over it. You've won an Un-Award, you don't have to accept it.
Stumble!