Hi there my name is stephie. and I'm currently new to elftown! Looking to meet friends and network with people!!

I'm friendly and easy to get along with!

Stop in and say hello..







Screams from inside...
screams, fears and a horrific past taunting in my dreams
and nightmares, day in and day out.
You wonder what can cause so much pain its pain
of apart of my soul dying within side of me striving to survive.
Another life to carry and grow, and rather then watching it grow,
I had to sit back as it died inside of me and apart of me died with it.
How can death come so soon to those who never stood a chance to live
from the beginning?
They say our own death is to which fears us the most, but it takes
a new perspective when a part of your soul, child within who you were
responsible to protect dies.
There is no other pain that is greater to feel the pain of a child dying
inside of you and there is nothing to be done is there?

This one was written about the child tony and I had lost...somethings you just never forget, and they taunt you forever!


                 Life Verses Death
                Life is full, and beautiful,
                  Full of great things.
               Death gloomy lonely, and
          Not knowing where your soul will go too.
                Life verses Death, life
           Which is about the body your voice,
              And everything superficial is
              Completely opposite of death.
             Death is about soul where it will
             Travel next, and to which body!
             Death seems harsh, But in reality
                 You aren’t trapped
                   in a body you
            Can come, and go as you please
                 With nobody telling
                  you what to do
           Except nobody can see nor hear you!
              With life you can socialize
             Have all the friends you want.
                You are never alone
             In life unless you choose to be
                    That way.
               With death you can’t be
                with the one you love.
            Life you can be with the one you
          Love, and spend your days with them.
                Life has its flaws, as
                   Does death.
         I wouldn’t say one is better then the other,
                But we all live our
                 Lives, and we all
           Face our death when the time comes!
               Everything has a purpose,
          And yet a reason for things happening. 



Lonely nights lonely days.
Alone, and cold with nobody to hold me.
I feel desperate just to feel another arm around me
or lips to touch mine!
Craving for a man's attention, and not recieveing it
has left me lonely cold, and desperate!
Wounded in manys ways my heart, my body
still craves for feelings, and sincerity.
Not knowing what man or what feelings to trust,
much less to let in makes this desperation even harder!
Days night go by with my heart my body screaming
for one man to provide this whole in my empty heart! 



From The Heart
From the heart I think of you,
missing you, loving you.
Hoping that you feel the same
way. Now that we have parted,
the pain has increased with the
throbing of your smell, thoughts, and
heart. If I had to do
it again. I would of never left your side.
never to get mad,
or anything. I would of
just had you hold me. From the
heart I do nothing at all
with this guilt in my heart it is empty.
I've written you
many poems in the past,
but never with so much love.
I know now
love does take exist in my
heart. No guy had ever
showed me the fun loving dangerous
side of me before I miss that.
I feel that their
is something missing inside of me.
You are that missing
piece. I know god shall reunite
us again. Maybe not now, maybe
not ten years from now.
Maybe when we are
old, and grey, but love takes
time. In time I shall
wait for you, to complete me
again.



Who, is to say I will love again?
A heart is wounded with much pain, and sorrow.
Pain so deep, love will never be the same, for love to be the
Same I must have my one true love. The love I lost does not want me,
nor need me, he got what he wanted, therefore he left me.
In time of desperation, and grief. A piece of my heart is missing,
for now and forever.
In such shambles thinks how could she of been a fool.
Shall these wounds of heart ach ever heal.
Time will ease, but never to erase the love nor pain, of my heart.



Written for my boyfriend Tony...
Falling...
From hate...to tourment...you became my desire..
A desire to which makes me melt with one look...
In all honesty your It for me in everyway..
my perfection, and better half of who I am..
touch, kiss, cuddling this all gives me comfort..
IF I had a choice...I would just be by your side everyday loving you...
Your pain sorrow I want to absorb it just so I know how you feel.
I would take all that is bad to you and take it on myself just because I love you that much.
This is no silly lust but simply love...you are what they call my soulmate!
the only pain or fear I have is not having you..I can take one look in your eyes...
and see myself in them...I hope you can say the same about me.
I want to take long walks with you...have massages...tickel fights..to tease
and tourment eachother out of love...
have our fights and at the end of the day say we are still crazy about one another.
I don't think but know..I want no other..only you..your my love, and hopeful someday
a lot more then just a bf..I'll be waiting to start my life with you...
I'll sit and be patient till our life starts.



Escaping...
Pulling dragging...
screaming all these thoughts coming and going inside and out of my mind..
is it sanity or insanity going crazy or part of the circle of life.
Voices telling me to come and go but which direction to take and which one is the right one.
I feel as if there are three different people but one body to be shared...
A body I cannot share and am not willing to..
This insanity feels almost like I am trapped in a cage and am unable to escape so I sit inside my body screaming!!!
Screams of help, tears, and tourment.
A combination of tourment of wanting to escape from people, life, and everything around me.
An escape even from my own life!!
The only problem is what am I escaping from...
Am I escaping from myself or the issues of life that I just don't want to deal with??

By: Stephanie Lewis 5/21/07



Letting go...
Anger, grief, frustration, and grudges..
To let go is to forgive to forgive is to put forth the past...
Easier said then done is forgiveness...
How do we forgive much less let the past stay in our past???
Having anger...and going through the tourment of life is what shapes us as people so why do we carry such hate?
Maybe its not hate, but simply a test that we go through to improve ourselfves and to learn from.
We are put here on this earth not to have fun but to learn about life...and our surroundings.
Emotions are our weaknesses..
We test ourselves on a daily basis to see what we can handle and what may bring us down and destroy us.
Anger, grief, frustration, and grudges...
Its all a test of strength...

By: Stephanie Lewis 5/22/07