I love to type up stories that into my head. i want a place like this i can be myself. i am a brunette and a brown eyed angel. I'm not afraid to stand up for what i believe in and i won't be afraid to tell you what i think.


    I Tried
Stand your ground, don't just let him walk all over you.
Speak your mind, don't let him tell you what to think.
Shout out and make him silent.
You are not his property and you never should be.
He treats you like he owns he when the fact is he knows in a second you could walk away. Pleasure like him will fade as quickly as it lights.
The fire you see in him isn't really just a front.
Soon very soon, you will nothing but something to enjoy every so often.
When you try to connect, he will push you away.
When you try to help, he will do whatever it takes to hurt you.
If you try, you will deny.
If you plead, he will exceed the plead.
Nothing. No way to connect to him.
Don't even try. I gave it my best shot and I missed.
He never let me in unless I prided.
He never talked about anything unless I asked.
He will shut down before you can go in deeper.
He thinks he knows the truth but he cannot disdigution his lies from truth.
Try if you wish but I already have and now look where I have ended up.


 No one knows ( Never admit it)

You to me to say nothing. So I remain silent.
You tell me you want me. So I attempt to remain standing.
The look in yours eyes still melts me down.
The sound of your voice still makes it hard to breathe.
Yet I say nothing I never will admit to it.
Not right now, I can't, I won't.
I lay in my bed wondering of my future.
I see him in it but I can also see you.
No one will ever know that I am the one you live for.
No one will ever know that I cannot stand to be away from you.
Not even you can know but yet you will, you do.
I hate myself for feeling like this. Stuck between you and him.
My heart breaks at what to do.
Why does this happen to me?
You are alot hard to get over.
I once said never again would I trust you, would I love you.
But I do. God in heaven help me!
I want you, I crave you; yet, I will not touch you, I will not hold you.
My heart is torn. I want you both but can only have one.
I wish this was simple; I wish this was easy.
You complicate my life and I love it.
You destroy the walls around me and I cannot build them back up.
You show me a different light of day.
So what holds me back? What keeps from coming to you?
I do not know I never will.
I die inside from the situation.
I never asked for a positive of a blood test this much in my life.
I never asked this much for a negiative of a blood test much this in my life either.
Why is this happening to me?
I am in love with you and I am in love with him too.
Someone help me! Help this decision go away!
Help me disappear and never appear again!
I hate this yet I love this.
Complicated yet simple.
No one knows. No one will.
No one knows you have been the one buried in my heart.
The one I have denied.
I want you, I love you.
But I will never admit it.


Say good-bye

Say good-by nobody is there.
Just cry and let it all out.
Don't bother with people I can't trust.
What is the point of this life?
Why trust when I am only hurt.
Good-by if anybody is there.
If anyone is listening.


The End

Does someone hear me?
Can anyone see me?
Or is everyone blind?
No one sees that i am not alright.
No one cares so why should i.
It all ends tonight maybe not my life
But everything i know is going to change.
I am tired and restless
Dead inside to all who know me.
This is it no one sees...
No one sees the tears that are shattereed across the floor.
Blood stayed tears that scream for help.
So say what you want about me.
This is the end.

Blood Staid tears


Tears that shed across my floor.
A heart that is confussed and wants to scream.
Everything is okay right?
I don't want to be here anymore.
I want to be in a place i know.
Where i am not so confussed.
These tears are blood stained from a broken heart.
Someone fix me before i die.

Not listening

What do you want me to say?Feeling guilty whether you like it or not. Shacken and cold, broke and numb. Don't bother I can't be living this life. I don't care anymore where I am or where I go, but I know for a fact that as long as my God is with me He is all i will ever need. I need no one to fill me or make me feel loved for He already does. I won't be guilty but not because you say I shouldn't but because He is what I will alway live for!

Once in a Lifetime

Once in a lifetime comes a love so pure
so sweet, so pure, so rare
a flashing, brilliant light
like a comet through the air.

a love without rhyme or reason
that knew no space or time,
wrapped itself around my soul
and captured this heart of mine.

a once in a lifetime dream come true
of a love that knows no end,
had been there with me me through the years
and be there to be the one i call a friend.

ther is something so special
mere words can not explain,
the way our hearts are intertwined
and how it remains.

a fabric woven so tightly
each strand a color rare,
an intricate pattern of richness
with beauty beyound compare.


Broken

What heals a broken heart? Well i am the last person to ask because why would people ask me when I am struggling with it myself. Oh, well, life is life right? How do you conquer a broken heart, I don't know. I wish someone would tell me though. I am tired of it and of this pain but it is normal right? I will learn to deal because there will be alot in my life. Grow up! Get over it! get over the one person you want but can't have! Get on with your life! Why waste your time?! Just let it all go! So, what heals a broken heart? How should I know when i want him the one guy I can't have?!!!