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Expired Honey (Happy.)

Member #85760 created: 2004-09-25 03:43:20Simple URL:   

Name: Ask


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I am me! dont fucking like it, leave!
I will not respond to dumbass bitches talking shit or guys from who knows where that say "hi, ur hot talk?" because i know damn well you dont know much about me or english for that matter!
I am opinionated and i am a bitch! get over it!
say it with me "PROPER ENGLISH" good
I may or may not care what you say if i offend you dont take it personally because i offend everyone *yes including my friends* If i tell you i dont like you, dont talk to me! If i question your religion, style, music taste i may be curious!? dont be a bitch!

People suck because i say so! i dont hate my life or take it for granted, i am thankful for what i have. i dont beg for things and i dont cry because i didnt get my way! i dont binge eat and i dont eat junk food. I dont care what anyone else thinks because i think for myself and question things i am told. I have many ideas and views on everything, if you would like to talk to me about it, here would be the place to do it!

I know that realtionships are built on trust/honesty. You might not. I dont understand why people lie to one anoter when sooner or later they will find out, not today, maybe not even tommaorw, but they will.

Faithfullness is key. If you have desire to cheat on your loved one, leave them dont put them throught the emotional rollercoaster of being cheated on, im sure it has happend to you and it isnt pretty! Even if you were cheated on by that person, it still isnt right!

Why are people so shallow these days? Not every un attractive guy is a charming prince but not every good looking guy is an ass. Get to know someone before deciding if they are worth your time! You should reach out to the people that dont have anyone else...because they need you more then the chick with long legs or the guy that has a reputation for a great lay. GET OVER IT! sex is a small part of a relationship! You wonder why america is so fucked its because everyone is getting in too deep before they know the person and is getting stuck with them!

Jan 11 2007
i dont know what to do and i cant tell who to trust. I am only as tough as i seem on the outside...on the inside a single word could break you speak i hurt and as you dont i hurt more. I dont know who to run to or where to go...i just know that i need to do something about myself and i need to change. Yes i dont change for anyone...but i need to change for me. If i cant trust i cant love and i cant be happy. I want to trust and i do...but only to a certin extent. I love the people around me but i wonder if they are talking about me behind my back, snickering or gossiping. I know i shouldnt care but i do. I also wonder who is honest and what people really think. You tell me im you really mean it? You are my friend...but are you really? i dont understand why i am like this, but i am. I hope that some people stick by through my change and if not i understand...i really just want to be happy more then anything but i wont be until i stop pushing people away.


I don’t want everyone to know

I try to hide my true feelings
I don’t want everyone to know

When you see me, whether at school or home
I maybe smiling but it is only a mask
I don’t want everyone to know

This may not make sense or rhyme but it is how I am
I cry while I write, but it is all I can do, I am afraid to tell
Because I don’t want everyone to know

Even though I have people I know care
There are only few whom are truly my friends
I don’t want everyone to know

Inside I am lost, hidden, locked in a small cell, a leaky pipe
A running rat, frozen in fear when faced with reality
A small fly trapped in a spider’s web waiting to be killed
I am big on the outside yet tiny on the inside
I don’t want everyone to know

I often have brake-downs and think no one cares
I feel that everyone would be better without me
I don’t want everyone to know

I seem strong on the outside but inside I am as tough as a feather
Everything said or done imprints on my life
Every cruel word I remember forever
I don’t want everyone to know

I try to hide every tear, every thought, every emotion
Because I don’t want everyone to know

I m not the person everyone sees…
That I don’t want ANYONE to know

Tears of love and hate
Tears brought by a broken heart
Tears shed when I learned the truth
They are eternal, Forever I feel there pain
Tears you caused
Tears that everyone can see
Tears they cannot be hidden
Tears making me quiver in fear
Tears I never want to think about ever again
Tears you couldn’t possibly understand or feel to there full extent
Tears that tore my heart to shreds
Tears that will hold memories too painful to hold on to


Why? Why was I put on this earth?
Was I put here to be hurt?
That’s how it seems to me!
Everything I have come to love
Gone! Lost taken’ away!
I hate how I can’t get attached
But I can’t help it
I don’t want to love
But I do
I don’t want to be hurt
But I am
I don’t want to do this to myself
But I do
I can’t stand it anymore
Everything said to me
I believe
Every time I am lied to
I forgive
Ever time I am happy
I become sad
Every time I think
I can’t help but cry
Every time I try to forget
It all comes back
Every time I talk
Something brings back hurt
No matter what is said…
It can be linked to something
Even the slightest smile
Even the smallest kiss
Every look
Every flower
Every time someone touches me
Even if it’s just a hug
Even the smallest cloud
In some way or another…
It hurts…I try to clear my mind
But it doesn’t work
It just makes everything worse
Why? Is this what I am here for?
To be hurt, hated, UN wanted
Then want so hard just to be
Happy, loved and to be wanted?
I feel as if I have a curse
Or a spell, maybe even a disease
For everyone to see how they are lucky
That they aren’t me
So others can be happy
I mean I want so hard to be happy…
But if me being miserable makes someone else’s
Life easier, I guess it’s worth it
To see a smile
To know that someone is happy
That’s all I really want
It is just I don’t see why me?
Because, I can take it?
That is the truth
But pain doesn’t please me
I can deal with it
But I’d rather be without
I guess if one person is happy its worth it
I mean it must feel great to know that nothing is wrong
To not have to worry about the pain you could feel
And I know most people say there has to be good
For there to be bad
But that’s not how I see it
To me, everything is bad
To me everything is something that will leave yet another scar
But there are so many
I don’t seem to care anymore
I mean what’s one more…right?
Wrong, One more is one more thing
I will find sadness from
One more thing to bring back pain and memories
Sure I have had good times
It has always just turned around to something bad
Sure I like a lot of things
But I’m afraid to show it
Because I am scared that I will lose that too
Think about it
Put yourself where I am standing right now
I cant show anyone I like them
I cant show that I might love them,
For all I know they could like me too
But that’s the risk I know oh to well
Everything is a risk
Mine just hardly ever turn on the good side
This might scare you, but how do you think I feel?
Having to sort everything out
Never knowing who or what I will lose next
Never knowing who or what will hurt me
It is something I cant tell until its too late
So, now tell me your life sucks
Now tell me what your going threw
Now tell me how much it must suck to be me
Now tell me how lucky you are
Now tell me how much it must hurt to wake up in the middle of the night confused
Now tell me how you didn’t know
How hard it is to sort everything out
To be sleepless for days at a time just because I am me

Age: 21Year of birth: 1989Month of birth: 12Day of birth: 1

Gender: female

Fantasy race personality: Orc
Elftownworldmap 21°2.586'N 158°4.110'W

Place of living: Travelling around

Town: What dies it matter to you?

Known languages

Elfwood artist: No

Elfwood writer: No

Elftown crew wannabe: No

Favorite drawing objects

Computer interests

adult popalternativecountry
gothheavy metalhip hop
jazznew agepop
progressive metalpunkrap

Other interests
bookscarschasing the preferred sex
cookingcrime storiesdancing

Civil status: married

Sexual preference: opposite sex

Body shape: a little overweight

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