My Quenyan name - Veon

It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

If you manage to make something idiot-proof someone will make a better idiot.

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Murphy%27s_law_application_for_antigravitatory_cats
this is pretty funny...


http://bwcastle.ytmnd.com/


I'm a 18 year old guy. Currently I am attending college at ACC and i have an excelent schedule here. Gimme a hello on AOL if you see me, adcyberkid@aol.com (email/aim) just let me know where you got my SN from first :P


if you ever wanna chat feel free to do so, always wanna meet new people :)


More about myself, i love comedy, good jokes, i love video games and would be happy to chat w/someone on or about one...i play mostly old fashioned everquest right now.
I like country, trance and techno music, along with some rock n roll.
Im 17 years old, around 6 feet tall, a little overweight but losing steadily, down 15 lbs so far. uhh lets see...
likes...
see above for some...
others... happy people, smart people, games, helping others with problems... the list goes on...
some dislikes...
drugs, alcohol, assholes, false advertising, SMOKING, preps and jocks, kids who think they are the next big thing, fashion (sometimes) and various other things.

never been arrested and dont plan to be, i'm told im happy-go-lucky kinda person, have a small group of friends i hang out with. mostly gamers/uber-geeks. Im not nearly as bad as them though i do spend a lot of time on my computer. Generaly i try to avoid going places if i dont have to, shopping for example. i hate clothes shopping.

yes i do speak some german, not a lot but hey, something is better than nothing.

if you want any advice on anything i've been told that im a good problem solver by some people... ... send it anonymous if you want, i wont spread any info that shouldnt be, just like helping people

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Do you have a crush on me?
5. Would you kiss me?
6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
7. Describe me in one word.
8. What was your first impression?
9. Do you still think that way about me now?
10. What reminds you of me?
11. If you could give me anything what would it be?
12. How well do you know me?
13. When's the last time you saw me?
14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
15. Are you going to put this on your house and see what I say about you?
16. If i had something stuck in my teeth would you tell me?
17. Do you cyber?
18. Do you smoke?
19. Could you keep a secret?
20. What's your favorite color?
21. Would you ever date me?
22. would you ever do me?
23. Do you think im hot?


THINGS GUYS WANT GIRLS TO KNOW!
i've removed those i disagree with
1. We're not as perverted as you think we all are.
2. No matter what YOU say, your ex-boyfriend IS a LOSER.
3. We like you to give us hugs and kisses sometimes too.
4. Don't argue with us when we call you beautiful.
5. Don't treat us like crap, what goes around comes around.
6. We know you're pretty, that's one of the reason's we're going out with you.
7. Don't go into detail about your period. It scares us.
8. If you have cramps and we ask you what's wrong, just tell us it's that time of the month and nothing more.
10. We never shave our legs. So get over it.
11. NEVER ask us if you can put makeup on us. It's just wrong............
13. When we tell you that you're not fat, believe us.
14. We absolutely do not care about the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, 98 Degrees, or what any other guy looks like for that matter.
18. We can't always be spontaneous, so try to help us make the plans sometimes.
man, lots there...
28. NEVER ask us to kiss other guys. You might be that comfy with your friends, but to us it's just wrong.
30. We know you're not always right, but we'll pretend like you are anyway

YOU CAN ASK ME SIX QUESTIONS::
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
__________________________________________________
No matter how random, revealing, rude, or pointless
__________________________________________________
I promise to answer them 100% truthfully
__________________________________________________
All questions are COMPLETELY confidential - send to my inbox


here down is comedy...

Funny Instructions
Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...



On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)



On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)



On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)



On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)



On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)



On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)



On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)



On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)



On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)



On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)



On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)



On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)



On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)



On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)



On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)



On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)



if you have any jokes you wanna send me im open to pretty much anything



(Image deleted by the guards)


say hi if you have a comment or just to say hi... watever. im open.







[Fun Things To Do At Walmart


Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.


Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.


Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.


Start playing Football; see how many people you can get to join in.


Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms.


Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.


Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".


Play with the automatic doors.


Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.


While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this crap, anyway?"



Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.


Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.


Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.


As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"


Ask to put M&M's on layaway.


Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.


Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.


Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.


Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.


Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,
"I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"


TP as much of the store as possible.


Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.


Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.


When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask,
"Why won't you people just leave me alone?"]



Say the word COW before each word.
1 - Cows
2 - About
3 - Talking
4 - Idiot
5 - This
6 - Got
7 - I
8 - Long
9 - How
10 - Look


Now say the word COW After each word
1 - Cows
2 - About
3 - Talking
4 - Idiot
5 - This
6 - Got
7 - I
8 - Long
9 - How
10 - Look
Now say the word COW before AND after each word.
1 - Cows
2 - About
3 - Talking
4 - Idiot
5 - This
6 - Got
7 - I
8 - Long
9 - How
10 - Look
Now read just the words upwards from the bottom.
1 - Cows
2 - About
3 - Talking
4- Idiot
5 - This
6 - Got
7 - I
8 - Long
9 - How
10 - Look




some of these are great, some arent
50 Fun Things to Do in an Elevator
1. Make racecar noises when people get on and off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while slapping your forehead and muttering, "Shut up dammit, all of you just SHUT UP!"
4. Whistle the first 7 notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout Cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask, "Got enough air in there?"
9. Offer nametags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper, "Ever had a Wet Willy?"
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral."
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on."
18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back, "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"
19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
20. Burp, then say, "Mmmmm..... tasty!"
21. Meow occasionally.
22. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
23. Frown and mutter, "Gotta go, gotta go," then sigh and say, "oops!"
24. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
25. Sing "Mary had a Little Lamb" while continuously pushing buttons.
26. Holler, "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
27. Walk on with a cooler that says "Human Head" on the side.
28. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce, "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
31. Wear a hand puppet and talk to the other passengers "through" it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
34. Play the accordion.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say, "Ding!" at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say, "I wonder what all these do?" and then push ALL the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger, "Wanna see wha in muh mouf??"
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."
46. Carry a blanket a clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it's getting bigger."
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil fiercely and scream, "BAD TOUCH!"