Ask Lilo edition #8

Lilo has just got a award from [valkyrie]!

This issue is about braging and how great cats are, but anything is welcome as usual.

---

And now, your questions:

How come I'm so much greater, kinder, smarter and more good looking than all other Elftowners? /Humble Mayor.

Because you give me food.

if 42 is the meaning to life, then what does that mean?

That you have missed both my box and lamp.

When will the world end?

Probably soon after my box and lamp stop working.

Probably a stoopid question... Where's the best place to get good paintings of elves?

I just try to look very cute and then an elf come and pat me sooner or later.

Do you think Elftown/Elfwood will ever sell out to Micro$oft? Or Yahoo!?

Not as long as I have something to eat.

How come while all of you great cats never team up and take over the world? it only seems right to me.

Because we don't like most other cats.

Cats are vastly superior to humans, so why can't I be one?

Blame your parents!

Why can't cats get over the fact that dogs are more fun to play with?

Stop whining and start to serve me, human!

Why DO cats chase mice? What is their motivation?

It's fun.

I like to play kitty with my boyfriend but he hates it... What's his problem? Got any kittyful suggestions to try to turn his fancy?

Slapp him in his face. If that doesn't work, go somewhere else.

You said black cats have controlling-mind powers... does this mean that me, as a white cat, will never be able to have such powers?

Cat's never comment their secret powers, and you know that.

What are wrong with people these days? Are cat´s strange too?

No, we are just mean and selfish.

What is your position on the issue of declawing?

I want to keep my claws and am prepared to use them to defend them!

Have cats ever had a history of breed discrimination? Have Manx or hairless cats ever been wrongly discriminated?

We're quite busy hating each other, find food and destroy things and kill small animals for fun, to think about stuff like that.

Were Cats the true rulers of Egypt?, and if so, why have they lost their position of power?

That has to do with the worldwide cat conspiricy, and as that doesn't exist, I can't tell you. I hope you're greatful, because if I did tell you, I would have been forced to kill you.

Why is life so hard? Why can't people try to make it easier?

They are so busy with thinking about why everything is so hard that they don't have any time to fix the problem.

Does your name have anything to do with the Disney film Lilo & Stitch? And if so, where is Stitch?

No. I've never heard of Stitch. Do a google on "Lilo" and the first hit is what the name comes from.

How do you feel to be named after the LInux LOader? (Actually, the first hit is now about Disney's "Lilo & Stitch".)

Let me put it in this way: I don't come when someone is calling my name...

I have managed to keep my cat's virginity for 3 years, but she wants to mate every month and makes life hell around the house, the problem is I haven't found a suitable lover yet- for she is too beautiful to just get together with just any simpleton. What do you think about this?

Throw her out and send me a lover, if you find any!

Can i have sex with my cat?

Yes. Put cream on your genitals and prepare to scream...

I pamper my cat, and devote my entire attenton to her, but she always says the same thing every once in a while: 'mrouwowooooew rawrloow." I would like to know what this means, and what I should do?

I only know Swedish Catish, so I don't know. But she is probably trying to teach you some word that your oversized brain is too disorganized to understand. Try to do different things when she says it, and she'll tell you when you're doing the right thing

I heard, from a dear friend, that if you beat someone with a sack of oranges, it won't leave a mark....is this statement true or false?

Oranges are horrible fruits that stinks! Stay away from them!

---

Previous ask-lilo-7
Next ask-lilo-9
Back to ask-lilo