Ask Lilo edition #9

Lilo on christmas 2000 with her present.

This issue is about computer hardware, but anything is welcome as usual.

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And now, your questions:

Why are you standing on my arm when I'm trying to type? /a mayor

*purr* *purr* *purr* Mmmr-mmr!

Did I quote you correctly here?

Hrm.... *looks* Hrm... Need a break! I'll trust you to get it right!

What is the best thing about computers?

They get warm!

Have you ever gotten your claw caught in the floppy disk drive while trying to chase mosquitoes?

Of course not! (And if she had, she would never admit it! / Mayor note)

I remember seeing a photo of Thomas Abrahamsson's cat, Nugget, inside of Thomas's computer. How did Nugget get there?

You mean Klimpen? Well, I've never met him, but I know some cats just love to get into things. I never do that though, exept for... Hm, I keep that secret hiding-place to myself.

Dear Klimp.. errr... I mean Lilo, if you're so smart, then tell me this..
If a roster laid an egg on a roof, which side will it roll?

Roster lists don't lay eggs. But cocks might, if they are anal pregnancy perverts with help of some scientist.

Is there more than one way to skin a cat?*ducks* dont hurt me kitty!

I prefer to use my claws. Works just as well with humans too.

Was i a moose once?

I don't care as long as you're tasty now.

I'm a older cat with a serious problem. My human just doesn't get the fact that I want to eat when I wake her up in the morning. I meow in her ears, lick her, purr. My room mate (who I dispise with a passion) has even tried biting her. All she does is throw us off the bed and yell a lot. What should I do about this?

Smart cats plan in advance. You have to start whining about food already before the human goes to bed.

Dear Lilo,
I'm a black cat also, and you seem very wise. I'm worried about my young human friend. She's trying to choose her subjects for a University Arts degree and is having trouble because she think's they all look interesting. She's definately doing history and geography, because I like them. But what other subjects should I tell her to do?

It should be stuff with big papers and other things that you can play with. As long as it doesn't do stuff that stinks, like painting.

So is it hard for a cat to use the computer? Do you need extra big keys? And have you ever found your self chasing the mouse?

I use a human for that. Chasing the mouse is a kid-game, you silly!

Lilo,
I'm having problems at school with these girls who bug me alot. They talk to me about things that make me feel uneasy and they also seem to be ractist. I'm biracial (half black, half white) and I heard them making an Oreo joke. They also boss me around too. I try to ingore them but everyone once in a while I snap at them. Tell me, what should I do?

Beat them up! If they are too big or too many, you can make someone else do it for you. If that doesn't work, then beat them up some more.

Hi Lilo! Do you like knawing chicken necks and lamb ribs like my cat?


Mjes!

Lilo, I have a kitten. He has been declawed and nuedered. But he still acts like a psycho. What should I do? And why does he jump up on the sides of doors and slide down? Thanks. Hands treat. *bows*

I usually hide very high up somewhere.

Lilo,during my mouse hunts, I have found out that other cats envy and hate you because of your amazing ability to answer Humans begs. What do you say to them?

"Mja", "mmm", "Mjau" and other words that humans understands. They don't have that big vokabulary, you know, and not always understand the difference between "Feed me!", "Pat me!" and "Play with me!".


Have you ever fell in love?

Yes, with [Hedda] of course.

What's your favourite software? And why?

Yes, lilo. Because it has a nice name.

Lilo, I have been planning an attack on the mice in the basement. What method is best to get rid of them?

Why would you want to get rid of them? They are so fun to play with!

Lilo, what's your wildest dream? =^_^=

Run up to a tomcat, claw out his eyes and bite off his tail, and then have hot sex with him for 3 seconds, before I scare him away. I also have this dream about maybe taste some low quality cat-food, but that dream is to wild to write about here and I'm quite ashamed of it.

Lilo, my boyfriend got me pregnant and then started treating me horrible what would u do?

Beat him up. Attack from behind and aim for the eyes. Secondly you have to be a little more protective about your bowl of food.

what would u do if a dog fell in love with you?

Sleep on it.

Do you think those cat flu injections actually work?

They sure hurts, so I hope they are good for something!

Lilo, I have three cats. One called Angie who wants to rule the world and is practicing on my house and the other two cats. One named Pansy who wants most in life to be fat and because i won't let her she is always bad tempered and the last one is called Mouth because he never shuts up...He is always afraid i will forget to feed them and complains constantly. Angies bossyness makes Pansy mad so she eats all the food and Mouth panics cause there is no food. How can i make these three just get along?

Just send me Mouth. He seems like a real cutie! I'm also very talky and would love someone to talk to!

lilo, the cat that used to enslave me recently died, what would you suggest for the pain to go away?

I don't know. I still have [Hedda] and I don't care that much about anything else.

Lilo I have a crush on this guy and can't get him out of my mind! Its driving me mad!!!! What do you suggest I do??

Beat him up a little and see if he really loves you.

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