Happiness goes by so fast you blink and everything is gone, you remember and it all hurts you. The best memory you can have may often be the worst or last thing you want to remember. Emotions are caused by memories. From the second you are born till the second you die you have every memory, it’s just a matter of being able to reach that memory. People who suppress their memories don’t forget them they lock them in a place just out of reach. I wish I was one of those people. The only memories I can seem to hold on to are the ones that hurt me the most.

I remember me and my friends and then it hits me, I don’t talk to any of them anymore. I shut myself off from people in general so I could protect myself. I opened myself up to someone in hopes that I could be whole again and I was. I thank you so much for getting me to believe in people again, but it’s also you who has made me shut them out once more. I love you more then anything in this world or anything out of this world, and I will never give up on you. I believed in you, I always have and I always will.

From January 1st, 2008 to March 25th, 2008 was the best thing that could have ever happen to me. But my world came crashing down March 26th slowly at first and then made a sudden stop March 29th. Today is March 30th, 2008 the day after my whole world stopped and I am now picking up the big pieces I can find that were my life and I’m forcing them back together even if they don’t fit, kind of like a puzzle piece that your just so sure it goes there you set it down it doesn’t really fit there but you push on it just to make for damn sure it can or can not go there, only I couldn’t care less if my pieces fit together because one way or another they are going to fit the way I want them to.

I guess you were right when you said there is such thing as being too happy, because it happened to me. I was too happy and way too confident that nothing could go wrong in my life, but I was blinded by you. I was so happy in your blinding light that I wish to stay there with you even after it all I’m giving you another chance because I believe your better than that. I’m not giving up on you I never will!


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