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2008-10-29 [Linderel]: Dude. Morbid much? :D
2008-10-29 [Duke Devlin]: XD :D Yep! :D
I was gonna add more to it, but what do you think? XD
2008-10-29 [Linderel]: Pretty nice. Just needs some corrections, and it seems that whatever the third sentence was supposed to be is cut off. :P
2008-10-29 [Duke Devlin]: XD Hahah 'Shivers' XD Yeah, that was me planning to write a sentence, then forgetting. :P There we go. XD
Ooo point out me errors. :D Please? ^^
2008-10-29 [Linderel]: At least one misplaced apostrophe (in paragraph ten), some unnecessary commas in the quotes. Some missing apostrophes perhaps as well - with the tools.
2008-10-29 [Duke Devlin]: Thank you! :D It is much appreciated. :)
I think I got most of it then, editing. Do let me know if not. :)
2008-11-16 [Traumatics]: :D i like it XD
it sorta evolves along with the details, the story
at first starts off with the past events gone, then you start to find out what happened, sorta.
it progresses nicely ^^
i especially like the detail, and minimal use of cliche, if at all (those really make me cringe :D)
2008-11-16 [Duke Devlin]: Awhh well thank you. :)
:D
I am glad you like it. :D I tend to start with something and then go retrospective (sort of) XD It's just how I always seem to write. :P I despise cliches... They are just... *twitch* XD
If you are interested, I actually intend to expand on this. :D And make a full story out of it (the backstory of Caleb and such ^^)
2009-02-14 [Traumatics]: like the banner much ;P
2009-02-18 [Duke Devlin]: Danke ;)
2009-11-09 [another brick in the wall]: it's...well...
there were a few things I found a bit odd with it. like when Matt asks who he looks like. I think after being stabbed through the cheek with a scewdriver, the pain tends to make one forget whatever else was on the mind. I think it would be more realistic if Matt doesn't ask at all, but still Caled continues on his own. and my other thing; It might just be me imagining it in a wrong way, but I just can't see how Caleb could manage to take Matt's sock off when previously mentioned that his ankles were bound.
2009-11-13 [Duke Devlin]: I see your points, and will address them as best I can. :)
1. I like that idea! I may edit this (since it's going in my novel) so that that is the case, and Matt doesn't say anything from that point.
2. Matt wears short, trainer socks. :) They go nicely with his shoes. :P Sorry, I should explain things like that. XD
2009-11-13 [another brick in the wall]: alright. that makes sense. I wish you best of luck with your work on this.
2009-11-13 [Duke Devlin]: Awhh thank you. :)
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