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Orc Poetry Contest, Page 1

Please see the rules on the main page:

Official Orc Poetry Contest



Reminder 1: Number your entries, and separate them with the <hr> tag.
Reminder 2: There is a theme. It is "ORCS"
The poems must be about orcs or in orcish style!
Make sure the entries fit the theme, or they will be removed.


Examples:
00. Untitled
I drink my breakfast ale
while I put my wife on sale
Time to go and kill an elf
so that I get meat for myself

Written by [Hedda]

---

0. Untitled
Ark agahr dron naduk
Wannak fag morun droun
Arka gundda for soe elf
Erte drak mambra selt

Written by [All_Most PUNK]




1. The Meaning of Life
Meat
MEAT
MEAT!!
and rubber duckies.

Written by [Cookieholic]

---

2. Ode to Beer

Dâgalûr, that piece of slime
That filth infested chunk of grime!
He took my mug, he took my beer
I’ll slay that bastard with my spear!

I’ll punch him down and break his nose
I’ll make him hurt from head to toes!
And then I’ll take my carving knife
And decorate his lovely wife!

I’ll make his children rue the day
Their father ever crossed my way
I’ll make him pay, just wait and see
He’ll be my slave, he won’t go free!

And when I feel my work is done
When he has paid and I have won
I’ll scream for all the world to hear
You want to live? Then leave the beer!

Written by [Elegy - gone]

---

3.'We are not so different…'

Watch me with your with your inferior eye
I see you from the shadows.
Not a thought, nor feeling deep.
I lurk in your nightmares. I feed your fears.
Just a creature, nothing more
The side of yourself you deny.
The part you wish you were.
              
Written by [Nevan]

---

4.A day in the mind of an Orc

Just be out
Fighting smelly elves
Get home and there’s no food
Moan at wife.
Stupid elves.

Wife won’t cook horse
Going on about ‘vegetables’ Blarg…
She’s been listening to
stupid humans.

Ate wife.
Now Dragons stole my cave.
Killed dragon, ate that too.
Stupid dragons.

Can’t eat more dragons.
Chewy, make teeth fall out.
Eat dwarf instead.
Now coughing up hair.
Stupid dwarfs.

Cave smells.
Buy new wife.
Wife smells.
Stupid orc.....

Written by [Nevan]

---

5. Lunch

Flowers everywhere
Little elf playing outside
All alone out there

Little elf, surprised
Orc standing in front of him
It's hunting season

Elf runs for his life
But his legs are way too short
The orc comes closer

A rock on his path
Makes the little elf fall down
Now wife will cook lunch

Written by [FAE]

---

6. Orcish Drinking Song

Grokash nalag takra lahr
Egrin kirgatz mishra kahr
Urlog ahr
Jurhog dahr
Turing maskrid varget lahr

Lohrzag takra lakra nurt
Veriz nazra ghortag gurt
Lurfang turt
Porang zhurt
Veres midlam darhaz nurt

Gortarg hahrak!
Zvorta gahrak!
Ehrgoz misko korgah risgor zorbazt krahzkarak!

Written by [itoe]

---

7. Regihz's Flower

Regihz once had pretty flower.
It had color like Regihz's brother's fangs.
It smell like Reghiz's pretty wife.
It taste like come from back end of horse.

Reghiz give pretty flower to Reghiz's pretty wife.
She think flower look like sister's eyeball.
She think flower smell like something tasty.
She think flower taste like Reghiz's spit.

She like pretty flower.

Written by [itoe]

---

8. Appetite for blood

He walks out with an appetite for blood,
Rubbs his chest in rotten mud,
Sharpens his yellow claws
So they will cut through booties like saws.

The strong creature dreaded to death,
Takes away everyone's breath.
Loud gaits clanging in the woods,
Everyone knows, the orc is looking for his goods!

An elvish fighter seems to be weary of his life,
Challenges the orc for a strife.
The orc is surprised about the goods he found,
smashes the elf directly into the ground.

Picks up the unconcious food,
It really puts him into a good mood!
Tonight tasty soup will be served
As we all know it is well deserved!

Written by [~Lady Morgana~]

---

9. The Cuddly Orc. (AKA Shelly the Orc)

I’m the girlish sort,
I’m never one to snort!
I’m a cuddly Orc.

I’m not like the others,
I’m certainly not like my brothers!
I’m a cuddly Orc.

Written by [Acceber] ^_^

---

10. Me likes

Me like to squish
Me like to squash
Me likes to play with axe
Me like to smash the squirrels
with great big thumping whacks

Me like to crush
Me like to crunch
Me likes to break things
Me like to catch the creatures
and pull off all their wings

Me like to rip
Me like to raze
Me likes to cripple elves
Me like to find them hiding
and cook them for ourselves

Written by [Sir. Robert]

---

11. Orc, Man, Same.

Swirling asunder,
Lost in mud and dirt,
This blood, dark as night,
Orc,
Man,
Same.

We were elves once,
A time ago,
Blood in shadow,
Orc,
Man,
Same.

Wolf grin,
Eyes flash.
We are the same.
We are one,
We are same, You and I.

Written by [ACCOUNT DELETED.]

---

12. My Fantasy

You know, I think I love you
And I'm craving for your touch.
Yet I like the way you don't do
All that romantic mush.

Looks are overrated
Because I don't want a knight.
You don't have to be armour-plated
To be by my side tonight.

Smooth skin with me will score a zero
I love how your skin's rough.
It's great that you don't play the hero
Instead you're simply tough.

I'm glad we're not in some fancy room
That would lack the atmosphere.
I'd rather do it in the gloom
Of the forest, just right here.

You don't need to gallop along
Upon a fast white horse.
And I don't think at all you're wrong
To be so rough and coarse.

We need not eat a banquet
Lit by candle-light.
Bread, ale and a blanket
Will be just fine tonight.

You don't have to speak all fancy
We don't even have to talk.
Because it's always been my fantasy
To do it with an orc.

Written by [Lady Chaos]

---

13. What Me Likes

Me likes a meaty meal,
something which my teeth must peel,
and I me likes my mug filled with rum,
so I orders me wench to get me some.

Me slaps her rump as she walk by,
she give me a look daring one more try,
me likes her eyes look color of mold,
but me bets if given the chance she'd kill me cold.

Written by [Ktcm]

---

14. Beautifully Ugly

As I was wand'rin' through me muddy lawn
I was disgusted by the break o' dawn
When suddenly this lovely lady strolled by
and caught me with her own glassy eye

The wrinkles on her face
A few hairs tided with just one lace
Kill me now, that juicy mud-green skin
I didn't know where to begin

So I walked up to her, stranglin' me feet
Smelled the yummy oder of rotten meat
The enormous belly was just my taste
I knew there was no time to waste

And that slimy wart on her cheek
Oh me mouth began to leak
With just one bite I would chew her away
We would kill, conquer and roll through the mud all day

Me one true love, beautifully mutilated as me own mum
There I took her in the rhythm of the drum

Written by [Melocrie]

---

15. Orc March Song

Lead Singer/March Leader:
Spit out by hell
We do what we do best
You don't like what we do best
But we couldn't care less

All Orcs:
Fight! Fight! Fight!

Lead Singer/March Leader:
We hunger, we lust
We like the color and smell
We spray it, we must
We'll taste it and offer yours!

All Orcs:
Blood! Blood! Blood!

Lead Singer/March Leader:
It spreads where we go
On our axes it is
Our ally and foe
Which we fright with honor

All Orcs:
Death! Death! Death!

Lead Singer/March Leader:
We are what you detest
We go where you want us least
War is our unholy quest
On your bodies we shall feast

All Orcs:
Orc! Orc! Orc!

Written by [Blood Raven]

---

16. Orc Hunter’s Thoughts

Stupid humans.
Think you know us all
What do you know think
When you see my blood.

You’re proud.
Proud that you kill my kind
Happy we fall to you
That your swords cleave our skin.

We fear.
Our men might never return
Our babes grow without fathers
We retaliate with fire.

You scream.
Running out from burned houses
An army of green-skinned monsters
The slaughter is immense this day.

We feast.
We are savages
We feed on flesh
Innocent and pure.
What more would you expect?

Written by [NamelessMerc]

---

17. Ode to a Tree

My love for tree
like dwarven knee
roasted by the open sea

Written by [Gnuguy]

---

18. The Orc I Am

An orc i am , as ugly as i may be,
terrorizing life out by the sea.
But with club in hand,
a part of brigand.
Pillaging, chasing and ranting all day,
is everything that makes life so sway!
So run, run, as fast as you can,
you won't catch me cause I am the orcsterman,
but if you choose to do so,
i won't cry if you wash my loincloths man!

Written by [Keyurg Kirosake]

---

19. Orc love

I kill my own wife and yours as well
I don’t have much friends, it must be the smell
Or perhaps just my appetite that longs for all
Not just pork, but friendly folk, big and small

Perhaps we Orcs don’t seem that smart
But love goes through the stomach,
Not through the heart
So give me my ale
And my wooden club too
Then I’ll go hunting with love
For some elves for us two

Written by [Teufelsweib]

---

20. RAWR!!

RAWR!! Is the sound I make!
RAWR!! While your life I take!
RAWR!! While a neck I break!

RAWR!! Scares you while you sleep!
RAWR!! You scared to make a peep!
RAWR!! Because I never creep!

RAWR!! While I am fighting!
RAWR!! While I’m biting!
RAWR!! While your house is igniting!

RAWR!! When I kill!
RAWR!! When I eat my fill!
RAWR!! When elven hearts be still!

RAWR!! With the clan!
RAWR!! Dodge the villagers pan!
RAWR!! My entire orcish life span!!!!

[Lordterrex]

---

21. Orc Marching Battle song

High HO!!!!
High HO!!!
High HO!!
High HO!


We're Orcs
Orcish warriors
We fight like pigs

We are orcs, Orcish warriors
We fight Like Men
orcish men!

We'll rip up your town
Maime and kill your dog

Cause were Orcs
Orcish Warriors
We like to fight like dogs
We eat the meat
The human meat
Were Orcs
Orcish warriors!

Written by [Balthizar]

---

22. Fresh man flesh

Man flesh
Elf flesh
Dwarf flesh
We orcses loves flesh
We crunch the bones and drinks the rest
We Loves flesh!

Man Flesh
Elf flesh
Dwarf flesh
Even stupid halfling flesh
We eat it raw we eat it fresh
We loves flesh!

Man flesh
Elf flesh
Dwarf flesh
we goes to war for the bests
'Coz We Loves flesh!

We likes It all but bests of all
Is fresh man flesh!

Written By [Danse Macabre]

---

23. Orc Poetry Recital

Elf rancid like flower
Duck take too many shower
Dwarf just ugly
Human too smugly

*interruption*
“Smugly not word!”
“SMUGLY TO WORD!”
*punches other orc*
“Where I was? Oh…”
*clears throat*
HAGAKKAK-ACK!

Human too smugly
Halfling to snuggly
Meat all gone in Elftown now
That okay
We move away
Go to Unicorn-ville!
Break off pretty horn
Roast unicorn over big fire
Or eat raw, that good too

*interruption*
“Why you no rhyme now?”
*WHACK!*
“SHUTUP! NO INTERRUPT!”

Or eat him raw, that good too
Poem over now
Can only have thirty line…
…wait…someone make that rule…
That mean someone still alive in Elftown!
GRAWWWRRRR!! I KILL!!!!

Written by [Dark Side of the Moon]

---

24. War Song Agienst the Elves

The night is ours!
Bear your fangs and draw your swords,
Bar your words ye elvish lads,
We come to take what's ours!

Gnash, Slash, Bash, and Crash!

Orcs of Drakkull ye shall meet.
Send ye to Hellgates,
Slaughter asunder
Eat and plunder
For the Orcs of Drakkull ye shall meet!

Written by the [Lady of Lore]

---

25.Orc War Cry

God of war and steel,
Never let me kneel
In front of foe or friend
I'll battle to the end.
Elven tribes, forests dark, will rise their bows
Arrows shadows cast on earth and kill our rows
But dead we will be not.
Dwarf axe will hit our shield, break our will
And many friend and brother they will kill.
But dead they will be not.
Human mind and cunning treachery will yell
To the sky above we give our heart and will.
But dead we will be not.

For now and ever, evermore
We are, we will and be forever
One heart, one soul, one beat,
We are the Orc.

Death pales in our name
For we feed it's fame
It bows it's head when the elder speak
Of lives we lost when we were weak
And lives we lived we live again, without fear
And all the Orc, they hear
And live once more through tales
And never die, new life they gain, our heroes.
Eternal life, gained in words by deeds
Eternal life, within our minds.
Eternal life, within the tales, that will never end,
As long as one heart still beats and it is Orc.

We fear not death, for we are immortal.
We fear not battle, for it brings salvation.
We fear no clan, race or nation.
We are the Ork and our name means death,
to all that's mortal.

Written by [dracken23]

---

26. Orcy Borky

Orcy Borky ran away
Stupid Orcy ran my way
Orcy Borky was slain by Spear
Stupid Orcy was full of fear

Orcy Borky was dead
Now we have more to eat than bread
Night came fast
the feast didn't last

We ate Orcy Borky meat
my fortune cookie read:
It wasn't a stupid orcy
It was a stupid porky

Written by [Dragon Wars]

---

27. An Orc's Life

My Axe red with blood,
Human faces full of fear,
My day now complete.

The villages in flames,
Orc tattoos shining brightly,
Look there, an Archer.

Black shaft deep in chest,
Orcs fight hard, life fast, die well,
Then only loot remains.

Written by [Erekosen]

---

28. Orcart

(Translator's Note: A song sang by Orcish legions during the War of the Black Sun, upon news of the approach of Orcart. Orcart was the then general of the mountainous Orc nation. Under his leadership, Orc armies pushed out the dark sorcers and their minions, and took many human towns and provinces held in thrall to these great and cruel wizards. It would be hard to say under which these people suffered more.)

Orcart

Grakt ar dwer, sull ek dun
Stech ar pins ark der
Ter bar ar hol, cleve ar pinhol
Grash ar pindwer, klee mor ark net

Spinkt ax, cor leng
Orcart der!

Warshu bledh, dertal grax
Net ark e grashder ar der
Af brer gort e met
Bret sar ik klee

Chut ire, slee kleer
Orcart nader!

Mor et kleeach, pinsorc net
Sun ech grash, nader
Gort ik pinmet, ik holmet, ik git
Met fer umbe, bledh see ak grat
Ret ark met, gort ik klee
Mekhal Orcart ne!

Translation

Orcart

Smash the house, tear it down
Impale the people to the ground
Throw down the horse, cleave the rider too
Burn the stables, kill the many and the few

Shatter the axe, break the spear
For mighty Orcart is here!

Rivers of blood, mountains of bone
None left by hearth in home
Crow and raven feast on flesh
Filled air with taste of death

Bite the sword, spread all fear
For mighty Orcart is near!

Much is slaughtered, prisoners none
No time to take them ‘ere rise of sun
Feast on manflesh, horse, and goat
The meat it fills, blood slakes throat

Tear the flesh, feast in cheer
For mighty Orcart is here!

Written by [Wulf Skjaldr]

---

29. Orcish Table Manners

Orc, orc, me Orc.
Pork, pork, like pork.
Fork, fork....
GRAAHHH!! Orc need no fork!
That what fingers for!

Written by [stuffAEAmade]

---

30. Good Food Taste Like Poopie

Scratching me belly and whistling a song,
Scaring the crows as me belch is so strong,
Me walk through the forest, looking for game,
I smell something bad, and know something wrong!

Me hear a loud squish, me foot slide on ground,
Me look at me foot, and see something brown,
Touch with me finger, feels moist and crunchy,
See what me stepped on, me must lean down.

Me stick me finger into the brown thing,
To taste the brown thing, in me mouth me bring.
It tastes like me skin and smells like me breath,
Me think it me finger, me butt was itching.

But the smell is quite weird and the taste is no good,
Me know well me butt smell, it puts me in good mood,
"Me step on some poopie", me grunt out aloud,
But it no disgusting, it reminds me of food!

Ork women make good food, they taste like Elf poopie,
So me think it must be, some fresh Elven goodie,
But me remember well what me brother once say,
"Elves no no take poopie, that why they taste yummy".

Me mother once tell me, "listen you fat moron,
Much luck it will bring you, the poopies you step on,
So treat them with much care, you will soon see,
Ork women love the smell of some warm fresh poopie!"

Me finish the poem, as me very hungry,
Hunting is now over, dinner is now ready,
Me will go home soon and smack me wife in the head,
And me will tell her that her food taste like poopie.

Written by [spincrus]

---

31. RUN RUN RUN!

I'm an orc as you can see,
Gorkscherk this is me.
I'm gonna rock you square folks,
Finally satisfying your invokes!

RAHAHAHAHA!

We are mean
Slaughter is routine.
We do smell,
Yes, we are warriors from hell!

We are grand,
And we are strong,
That's why our band,
Is playing this song!

Fears us as we come along
RUN RUN RUN!
Yes we are really THAT strong!
RUN RUN RUN!

We don't make convicts,
We are slaughter addicts,
We will eat you raw,
There is no need for a saw! HARHARHAR!!!

Fears us as we come along
RUN RUN RUN!
Yes we are really THAT strong!
RUN RUN RUN!

Fears us as we come along!
Now don't move,
I will give you prove,
After finishing this song!

*gobble sounds*

written by [~Lady Morgana~]

---

32.

Tavern Song

Grog, grog, grog!
Drunk from Elfie’s dead nog
Grog, Grog, Grog…

Errmm.. Urgaag not sure the rest…
Bah thinking hurt Urgaag head…
Oh yeah…

Ale, Ale Ale,
Mixed with flesh so stale
Ale, Ale, Ale…

Huh? What you mean that not right?
Urgaag say it, so it right!
Damn Orcish thingy… now where Urgaag at?

Blood! Blood! Blood!
Soaked in rancid mud
Blood, Blood, Blood!

Wine! Wine! … huh?

Who throw that!! Uraaag Kills it!!
*clang* *clash*
*thud*

Stupids Uraag… Now Chinbone sing yes?
Me think song goes like this…

Wine wine wine!
Made from baby swine
Wine wine… 

Oh? You still alive? *thud… thud… ThudaThudathud*

Grog! Grog! Grog!
Drinked from Uraag Dead Nog……

[Kememmótar]

---

33. O.R.C.S.
Organized? Not likely.
Regulation? Definitely not.
Congenial? No way!
Strangely unintellegent? YES!

Ornamental? Define.
Retirable? Uh...
Considerate? You kiddin'?
Steals? Wives...and other things...

Omnicient? Not at all.
Reasonable? You're kiddin' right?
Contestant? In the ugly contest.
Strong? Yes! Run!

O.R.C.S: They're what are wives fear,
and what we sometimes hear,
as we drink our beer,
in the tavern's rear.

Written by [AnnMiuka]

---

34.

Me Orc

Me a orc
Me no dork
Me is big
Me smell make you sick
Me is green
Me bad elf seen
Me get my axe
Me hit my own legs
Me hurt myzelf
Me run see elf

Written by [Dacoto]

---

35.
An Orc's feelings

An orc is fat?
An orc is slim?
He sleeps all night
And fights all day
Yet his feelings do fray
Each and every single day

An orc is bad?
An orc is tough?
He attacks innocent animals
And his mace is rough
Yet his feelings do fray
Each and every single day

An orc is here
An orc is there
He is here and there
And everwhere
Yet his feelings do fray
Each and every single day

An orc is sad
An orc is lonely
His feelings make him
fierce and mean
Yet his feelings do fray
Each and every single day

But as he walks along the road
And he sees his reflection
He looks and stares
And his feelings are all forgotten
His feelings now do not fray
For he has found ways to pass through the day

Written by [.kazuki.]

---

36. I am an Orc!
a not-so-serious poem

I am an Orc!
I use no knife or fork:
Eating with your hands is better
But eating cereal is wetter :/

I like strong ale!
Budweiser by comparison is pale
Only the best!
The stuff I drink will put hair on your chest

I smell bad!
Soaps and lotions are a fad
Don't even mention a shower
I don't want to smell like a flower!

My IQ is low
I admit I'm pretty slow
But I can hold my own in a fight
That's all that matters, right? :P

Written by [kittykittykitty]

---

37. Hawk Roasting
An orc's response to Hughes' "Hawk Roosting"

It sits atop the fire, its eyes unseeing.
Turning, no thwarting sight
In the sharp flames and around the sharp spit:
In eternal sleep reflects on perfect kills –
But I shall be the one to eat!

The convenience of high-powered bows!
The tall hills and setting sun
Were of no advantage to it;
Inspecting, it was inspected by my unflinching sight.

Its feet are tossed upon leafy forest-floor.
It took the whole of Creation
To produce its foot, its each feather:
The whole of Creation my foot!
But I’ll mention it to prospective buyers.

It rose once more, to revolve around the spit slowly –
The juicy flesh sizzles and it is all mine.
There is no sophistry in its body:
Its quality is in the lovely cooked scent.

It had a quick death
For the arrow’s path on its flight was direct.
Now the bones go to the rodents feasting
While the scrumptious meat is my right.

Written by [thoughtfox]

---

38. A day of an Orc

I the Orc set at night,
The only thing to do is fight,
All I can see is elf running from me.

A elf here a elf they’re come to me,
So, that I can eat, now as I run you down,
One fallen on the ground.

As I raise my blade and give a mighty swing,
Another one falls victim to me, now feasting
Upon his flesh, I think this is what I do best.

Saving the hart for now I will eat, when all the other
Orc will see.
I am an orc and let it be that all the elves fear me.
As another day passes for me.

I the Orc set at night,
The only thing to do is fight,
All I can see is elf running from me.

Written by [blueduck]

---

39.
There once was an Orc named Schplitt
who didn't like limericks one bit
He took out his big axe
and....

CHOP!

Written by [TheRogue]

---

40.

HUNGER
FOR BLOOD
AND DEATH!
ROAR!

Written by [Saffron]
(because orcs can't rime and can't write very well either)

This contest is closed!

Go or return to:
- Official Orc Poetry Contest
- Orc Poetry 06, Page 2