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Uni Pubbage 2

and Other Alcohol Induced Insanity

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KEY:
Gay Scott = The Scott that Big Emma & Big Steph know
Scott (Or Lesbian) = Our Scott

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Lil Emma *At a woman crying on ER* You can't take squeaky seriously. It's like a hamster telling you a sad story


Scott Just get down on the ground and I'll give you one


Ian I was gonna wear my thick frames, then we'd all be twins
Big Steph What?
Ian I said I wanna sleep with your ma


Lil Steph Ian, How can you find him hot?
Scott That's the same guy
Lil Steph Oh, Well he's hot from far away


Lil Emma Going up is harder than going down


Big Emma Is he actually going to crawl up her vagina?


Lil Emma Ooh that sky is pretty
Ian What guy?


Lil Emma Little Steph is actually like a black woman....She's just really black!


Lil Emma *Watching a Wimbledon women's match * Why don't they ever wear shorts? They never do! Not even the lesbians


Lil Emma I thought I'd severely damaged my leg by licking it


Lil Emma *Watching Wimbledon* Way Long? Is she talking about the ball or a Chinese person she's just seen?


Scott *Talking about tastes in men/women* My taste is 'Have you got legs?'


Big Steph Your boobs have eaten half the dinosaur


Big Steph *Mid-way through a conversation* JESUS'S WIFE! *Points dramtically*


Ian I'm entranced by it coming out


Lil Emma *Reaches in pants* I can't get a hold of it


Lil Emma It doesn't come for ages then it comes all at once


Ian *To Lil Emma* Jeeesus, You're not here two seconds and you're already wet!


Lil Emma It's going you just can't see it
Ian Kinda like Scott then


*About talking to curry*
Lil Emma Don't worry I've talked to weirder things before
Big Steph Like Ian


Lil Steph Ian. Love you. Sit on me face?


Lil Steph That's not a burger, that's a farm!


Lil Steph Ha Smirnoff your Mam


Ian *Gestures* Pull up. All I can see is bum crack
Lil Emma It's cleavage. You may be gay but that doesn't make it bum crack


Ian Would you STOP fucking my parrot?


Lil Emma It takes time to catch up to you when you've had alcohol
Ian So does rape


Ian He's got packets of cider and he's never eaten them


Ian Never thought of sticking my thing in there. Oh your thing's still in there. Oh it's all over my fingers


Ian Do you think heaven is like the internet but real life?


*On a ride at the Life Centre*
Life Centre Woman Don't touch the bars as they come down. They're a bit sensitive
Ian Aww gay seats


Ian You're a bit like Florence (and the Machine)
Lil Emma What? Cookie and ginger?
Ian I wouldn't say cookie, just friggin' insane


Lil Emma She jiggled out and she jiggled in, and when she jiggled back with her friend she didn't jiggle anymore


Mike (I think) *talking about Big Steph's vodka jelly shots* Is it just me or does it smell like cat piss?


Bex *talking about Big Steph's vodka jelly shots again* My tonuge isn't long enough
Big Steph Do you want me to rim it for you?


Gay Scott I love a bit of lesbian on my sausage


Scott *About gays* Bummer. Or not


Ian My brains are over there and they're still depressed


Emma *A giggly mess after having a Monster energy drink* I'm really trying not to splurge everywhere now...


Hannah Howden *trudging to the loo the morning after the night before* Why is everything so HARD!?!


Big Steph Lick my pint, and I'll destroy yours


Scott *utterly out of the blue* I tickled my face on a crisp packet.
Lil Emma, Ian & Big Steph O_o *Wets selves laughing*


Ian *To Lil Emma* Are you sure you don't have a penis?


Ian God, lesbians take forever!


Ian You smell like lesbian


Ian *About Big Steph's boobs* Aww, it's like heaven but warm


*Talking about Scott's taste in music*
Ian It's almost the same as your taste in women


Ian * About Lil Emma* You're like a mouse with tourettes


Ian It's tiring being gay


Big Steph *About Scott* Yes he has just taken his willy and raped my mind with it...It burns


Lil Emma *About Scott being in the closet* He's standing in the doorway with a feather boa


Ian It's like great wafts of Steph


*While bitching about God Botherers on Monument earlier intruding on our peace*
Ian To be fair... every day is quite exciting WITHOUT Jesus.


Rachel Oh yeah you're a lesbian now aren't you?


Big Steph You look like you've been poured into that seat
Ian Yeah I mould....Not as in, I turn green


Scott Do we ALL have to wear sports bras to work?


*Walking out of the cinema after seeing HP7 Part 1*
Becky I'm annoyed that Kreacher didn't even get to MENTION the pie!