Schizophrenia
Schizophrenia: The most chronic and disabling of the severe mental disorders. Typically develops in the late teens or early twenties. The overt symptoms are hallucinations (hearing voices, seeing visions), delusions (false beliefs about commonly held views of reality) and bizarre thought patterns. These are the positive symptoms that usually lead to psychiatric treatment and hospitalization...
Bethlem * Case Files
Archives: Schizophrenia 152
The doctor nodded, "very well then," he said to Caroline in a more kindly manner, "wait here and I'll page a nurse to take you there. The rest of you: off to dinner." He then nodded again at the nurse who, taking it as a signal that they should leave, swiped her key card and opened the door. She held it open so that the others could file out leaving the doctor, Bastien and Caroline behind.
Caleb filed out after a few others, staying silent now that he had to follow someone somewhere. He ceased his playing with his hair, and sauntered behind the nurse. Glancing around, he took in his surroundings - not an entirely unpleasant place, he surmised.
Anselm gave the doctor a sour look, then slinked behind the others as they filed out, somewhere near last in the line. Completely unfamiliar with the building, he decided to hang back and just follow everyone else.
The nurse led them down more white-walled corridors. The brilliantly white lights illuminating the bland scenery hummed quietly overhead as they turned a final corner. The large double-doors of the cafeteria loomed ahead, locked as all the other doors were. The nurse swiped her card key, and once again opened the door to let them in, "Go queue for your food over there," she said, pointing to a hole in the wall through which staff were serving meals for the benefit of the new arrivals. After they were all through the door she shut it behind them and it locked with a clock, "I'll be over there at the staff table if you need any helps," and with a last smile to Nadia, she left.
The cafeteria was the size of a small sports hall, with a high roof to match. There were no windows, only skylights through which the last rays of the dying autumn sun filtered weakly in. Lights chained to the ceiling hung down low over each of the many dinner tables that filled the hall. The tables were of course, bolted to the floor, as were the stools surrounding them. The walls were white and bare with not a single picture or painting to break the monotony. There were a few tables completely unoccupied, but many had other patients gathered around them. Some sat in silence, others talked animatedly to others, some talked animatedly to themselves.
Caleb frowned as he took in this uninteresting, decoration-les
s room. He cleared his throat somewhat noisily and went to queue where the nurse had indicated. He figured it was best to do as he was told, as this wasn't his home, so he was not in charge or anything. He queued behind a few others, so that he could follow suit with how they received their food. His gaze moved to the nearest skylight, he peered past the glare of the low-hung lights in order to do so. The light coming in through the skylights was beautiful - to him, and he sighed at the thought of the lack of windows.
Harvey hovered, he was good at hovering, sometimes he wondered if he would actually take off if he hesitated enough. Still, he kept as far back as he could and enjoyed the loneliness at the back of the line. He stood near the door of the cafeteria and shivered slightly, wishing everyone would just disappear and he'd be alone in the room... except for Nadia, he'd want Nadia to stay.
Nadia gave the nurse the same faint and thankful smile as the nurse left them, and she looked around as well. Her eyes found Harvey for a moment and she bit her lip before turning and going into the line with Caleb, following the movements she'd practiced after having been there for the few weeks of her treatment. "Um.. Can I please have the chicken fingers and mashed potatoes, please?" she asked politely. The lunch lady nodded and gave her a tray of food, and Nadia grabbed herself a small cup of pudding as she passed the desert counter, before grabbing a cup of water, a plastic spoon, and went to find herself a table. She sat at a single, empty table, alone, with only the other chairs to keep her company. She felt comfortable with all the people in the room, but she was shy and nervous about meeting them all.
Following Nadia's lead, Louisa fetched her food from the cafeteria counter, and eventually made her way to the where the other girl was seated. She stood at the other side of the table, tray in hand, and asked, nice as pie, 'Do you mind if I sit here, too, Nadia?' She smiled her placid, friendly smile, and did not presume to occupy a chair until she was given an answer.
Following suit with the other occupants of the room, Caleb approached the food servers. He requested "anything", as he was not feeling picky in the slightest, and quickly headed for one of the more crowded tables. If he wasn't going to spend a while here, he may as well get to know people properly. It didn't make sense not to do so. He sat down on the end of a table, and slowly began to eat.
Anselm looked dubiously at the hall, muttering something to himself about the food at his university. Not seeing any reason to delay, he followed some others to get his food, and once served, found a seat with as few people nearby as possible and sat down. Best to be polite with the others he had just met, but he did not intend to befriend all of those people. He just wanted to get out of Bethlem as soon as possible, and put an end to this unexplained inconvenience. The food was tasteless in his mouth as he ate slowly, matching his sour disposition.
Harvey took his own tray carefully, moving silently to the food line. He stood there with his tray clutched in his hands, maybe it was just the fact he was so ignorable, maybe it was the place where he'd been standing but everyone seemed to be passing around him and getting served. The floor were white seamless tiles, easy to keep clean... Some places needed grouting, the gaps between the tiles filled with gunk and slightly rotten food smatters; at least that's howhis last school had been. He'd once stood in front of the staff for four hours there, finally told to move on by a security guard... Still he stood there as other inmates passed around him, staring down at the seamless floor as if hypnotised and yet still being passed over by the busy staff.
"You just gonna stand there, or are you gonna get some food?" Raphael asked Harvey after he and his identical brother had stood patiently waiting behind him for some time, "I know the selection's not that great, but I'm kind of hungry," he added with a small friendly smile. He thought Harvey was clearly cuckoo in ways that he and his brother were not, but as long as he was a harmless cuckoo that didn't bother Raph. But he did prefer the cuckoos he could have normal conversations with.
Exposing the speed and prowess rivaling that of an olympic long jumper, Harvey took off into the air at least three feet as Raphael talked to him. He didn't even bother to speak to the two brothers, he found the sudden attention pointed at him earned a pile of hasitly slopped potato and two chicken pieces. He took off at once, a pudding and cutlery mysteriously appearing on his tray as he passed them, but soon slowed down before stopping dead. Where was he to sit?
Nadia blinked up at Louisa and chewed her lip lightly, nodding bashfully. "Of course... Sit." she offered gently, waving for Louisa to do just that. Sure she liked to be alone at times, but that was no cause to be rude. She gently lifted her plastic spoon and swirled it in her mashed potatoes some, watching intently, before taking her first bite, a hand going to cover her mouth as she chewed. She often times skipped meals because she hated eating in such a public place. She liked the people, but she always felt as though they were watching her...
'Thank you.' Louisa sat herself across from Nadia, squaring her tray carefully on the table prior to taking her seat. Before she dug in to her food, she repeated the action from the common room-- stroking her hair three times, from the top of her head to her ponytail, before grabbing ahold of her bundled hair. Satisfied, Louisa then laid her napkin in her lap started to eat.
Caleb looked around quietly, chewing a mouthful slowly. He caught sight of Harvey looking somewhat unsure of where to go, and he waved towards him. "Come sit with me," he smiled invitingly to the man, hoping he at least appeared more friendly than he had been so far; it seemed he had been nothing but arrogant and invasive. There were a few spaces where he was sat, the others on the table further along - he hadn't wanted to intrude too much.
Harvey froze this time, but it had been an order to go sit with Caleb. He shuffled over to the table carefully and set his tray down without making a noise a few seats to the right. Harvey sat down and stared at the food in front of him for a few minutes before picking up the knife and fork and starting to eat. He didn't look at Caleb as he sat, seemingly unnerved by people.
Caleb, a swift eater, finished his meal in record time - it wasn't like he could be picky and eat slowly, there was no point. As he replaced his cutlery onto his plate, he looked over at Harvey. Though it may be considered impolite to speak while others are eating - Caleb couldn't be sure if he had been brought up in the same way as others - he chose to do so anyway. "So, you are.., Harvey, right?" he asked in a nonchalant manner, smiling slightly. He still felt that he was creating a bad impression, and trying to lift it looked to be a little difficult.
Harvey nodded slowly as he kept eating, though doing it hesitantly and slightly shakily with someone watching him. He didn't want to seem rude, it was just that he could see no point in people even noticing him so why speak up or let people get close to him?
Caleb waited a few minutes to see if Harvey said anything, then shrugged and sipped at his drink - he had chosen water. After a short while he stopped watching Harvey, as he saw that he was somewhat unnerved-looking. "Sorry.," he muttered, hoping not to disturb him again.
Harvey only nodded again to indicate he was listening; he didn't like talking most of the time, except for when he had his pills that is. He was glad to be left alone though, happy when on his own at best.
Louisa neatly finished-off each serving of food on her tray individually, but paused before she started on her pudding. 'I wonder why the Doctor kept Bastien and Caroline behind for,' she offered in the most unobtrusive conversational manner she could manage. She smiled at Nadia, not necessarily expecting her to reply.
Anselm glanced up from his tray tables away at Louisa's question. "Caroline needed to go back to her room, but he probably wanted to talk to Bastien 'cause he was being so quiet. They prob'ly want him to talk more," he almost shouted, to get his words over to her table. He didn't know what Bastien was diagnosed with, but part of his treatment might involve having him interact with more people. Anselm shuddered and hoped this was all a bad dream. He didn't even want to know what the doctors thought would cure him. He muttered to himself, "'Case files'. I don't want to review my files with him, it's all made up crap, I bet. I'm never going to get out of here. I think my only hope of that is if my parents manage to find me. They probably think I've gone missing. Maybe they've called the police...."
'Oh. Of course.' Louisa cocked her attention toward the raised voice. 'You are welcome to come sit here, Anselm,' she posited in her highly girlish voice, raised only slightly from its normal, gentle volume, '...so you don't have to...yell.' She half-smiled at the boy and dipped her spoon into her pudding.
Leo and his brother had taken their meals - they had the exact same dish - after Harvey, and made their way to the same table that he was seated with Caleb, Leo in the lead, Raph following closely behind. Leo was eating his meal with a routinely manner, not hastily but not picking on it either - just accepting the reality that the food had to be eaten. "Not everyone comes to dinner," he interjected to the conversation about their new friends, "because they refuse to eat, and you have to eat here, so if you refuse to eat, they'll make you eat through a tube -- but fortunately that doesn't happen here in plain sight of everyone, it'd be really gross and then no one would want to eat. There was a girl some time ago who managed to not eat for a really long while - it was genius really how she fooled everyone - and starved herself to death, so they're super-careful now and make sure you eat. So if people have any history with eating disorders like that, that might be the reason they don't come for dinner. But who knows."
Caleb looked up at Leo as he spoke, taking in his every word. Truth be told, it was nice to find someone who seemed at least a little chatty here - none of the others seemed to be so, thus far. He rested his chin on his hand, his elbow on the table, as he looked across at the pair. "Do you think anyone does?" he referred, of course, to the possibility of eating disorders. "No one really looked--" he cut himself short, realising almost too late how stupid that comment would be - ailments are most frequently in the mind, often not manifesting themselves visibly. His mind seemed to be at work - as he spoke no more - his gaze merely concentrated loosely on the brothers sat at the table with himself and Harvey.
"Sure," Raph replied, "the nurses used to catch at least one person a week trying to throw up after dinner. The toilets always had a monitor in them, but now they actually go into the toilet with you. Unless it's the toilet in the dorm room. Those they just stick cameras in, so be careful what you do in there." He pushed some of the food around on his plate, "as careful as you can be, anyway," he added. It wasn't like even the things that were alright to do in a toilet were things you'd want someone to see on camera. Deciding he'd played with his food enough, with everything having been mashed beyond recognition into one amorphous food-blob, Raph finally started eating some of the stuff on his plate, "but be careful, if you try and hide what you're doing, they'll assume you're doing something wrong."
Caleb was taking by surprise. "What, no benefit of the doubt here?" he scowled, "That sucks," He seemed extremely displeased by this, but after a moment or so shrugged it off. "Oh well.., still, that's pretty invasive, don't you think?" he added after a brief thought. He quite frankly was appalled that they literally were watched all of the time, but since there was nothing that he could do about it, he settled merely for complaining about it - like most people would.
"Well, that's a sane way to look at it, sure," Leo agreed with Caleb's outrage. "But you'd be surprised: not a lot of people care about being watched or not; not a lot of people notice; some even like the attention. There was a fellow not long ago who was really a show-off when it came to, err, private matters. He was sure that everyone was fascinated with him, and he'd drop his trousers and show his stuff to anyone and everyone, unprompted and everything. I think they got him a chastity belt in the end or something, had to pee through a tube, and you don't want to know what they did when he needed sit down in the toilet..." He realised that everyone was still eating, so he trailed off, but didn't apologise for possibly spoiling anyone's appetite.
Harvey stared at his plate as if amazed that it slowly emptied as he ate; he hated the constant watching, people always spying on him. They were wasting their time, he wasn't worth watching. It wasn't as if he was going to hurt himself or others but still they made sure to watch him every time. A wry smile crossed his face when Leo mentioned the man who kept flashing people, Harvey had liked when he was around, not because he liked looking at the guy as he did it but because it usually meant that people weren't looking at him anymore or trying to get him to speak.
"That.., I must say, is rather unpleasant," Caleb said finally, a superior tone entering his voice for a moment. He raised his eyebrows as he glanced first from Leo to Raphael, then to Harvey. "Where did he go, anyway?" he suddenly grinned. It seemed he was strangely interested by the strange exhibitionist man he would never meet. "'Sounds like a funny guy.," he murmured to himself.
Raphael pushed his food around his plate again slightly uncomfortably, "They uh... they sent him to the basement," he said slightly reluctantly, "abandon hope all ye who enter here," he added. He had meant it as a joke, but his tone fell flat and there was nothing amusing or amused in his expression.
Nadia could just faintly hear the conversation the next table over between the boys, but she didn't say anything, simply finishing what she could eat of her food, then pushing her plate away from herself, frowning at it as if it were something revolting now. She stood from the table and bowed her head slightly to Louisa. "S'cuse me." she whispered and turned, heading to the nurse at her staff table. "Ma'am?" she asked meekly, shifting on her feet. "C-can I please use the lavatory?"
Caleb was completely oblivious to the 'joke' that Raph had made, and merely put down the grim expression to the locale. He folded his arms and rested his head on them. "Basement..," he pondered, "Is that like the 'naughty-corner' in school?" he asked either of the brothers, his gaze looking up from the table-surface.
With a glance toward Nadia, Louisa's half-smile twitched into a full smile, and she nodded in acknowledgement. She looked back at Anselm, but only briefly-- it was rude to stare. She started to eat her pudding.
While others had been starting dinner, Caroline and a nurse had headed back to the "New Dorm" to put her things away. Trying to ignore the fact that someone had moved her property (there was nothing she could do about it now), Caroline was somewhat pleased to see that they had at least arranged her items neatly and had given her a bed next to one of the windows. After sliding her bag and violin case under her new bed, she pulled a clean black sweater from a drawer and put it on. She turned to the nurse, let her know she was ready, and they headed to the cafeteria.
Walking into the the bustling room Caroline wasted no time in heading over to the food line. After a few minutes sorting out what she wanted to eat, she picked up her tray and headed over to the table where Louisa was sitting. "Can I join you?" She asked, coming up next to them.
'Certainly, Caroline,' Louisa replied. She put her spoon down, as she had since finished her pudding, and pulled the chair aside of her out a little. 'Us girls will have to stick together while we can,' she added in a jovial enough manner, though there was an underlying tightness to her voice, if one listened closely enough.
Caroline smiled, took the seat next to Louisa, and set her tray down. Fussing with her food for a moment so that each item was perfectly separate from the others, she began to eat slowly. After a few moments she looked up at her companion, "Sorry about the fuss I made earlier. I really don't like causing scenes but.....well...what the doctor said was upsetting. I don't like change."
'Well,' Louisa hestitated to speak, but sounded innocently frank when she finally did,'...the arrangements worry me a little, too...but I suppose the doctors know what's best for us.' She did not look at Caroline as she spoke, but looked vacantly forward; her right hand reached-up to tug at her ponytail before she entwined a few strands around her forefinger.
"I'm not so sure..." Caroline muttered quietly as she turned her attention to her mashed potatoes.
The nurse rose from the staff table and approached Nadia. She studied her with stern concern. They didn't like it when girls - or anyone for that matter - wanted to use the toilet right after dinner. But she must have given her the benefit of the doubt, and with some of the other nurses also at the staff table, she must have considered the situation under control, and she agreed. She escorted Nadia out of the hall.
Leo nodded slightly to Caleb and said "something like that," but was distracted by the girls' conversation. "I'm sure it'll work out fine," he said, with a bored tone of voice. He was quite desensitised when it came to all the odd things and policies that they had in the asylum.
'It's all for the best. It all has to be for the best,' uttered Louisa as she pulled down, rather firmly, on the hair curled about her finger. Quickly, however, she added in an all-too-chipper tone, 'Those potatoes today were...very good. The potatoes were very good.'
Caroline looked up from her potatoes to Louisa and then back to her plate again, slightly perplexed by the sudden topic change. She didn't press the issue though and smiled at the girl as she started to eat her chocolate pudding. "So what do you think of the new comers?" She asked, glancing over to the boys table and dropping her voice to a half whisper.
Again, Caleb was oblivious - which could easily be explained by the fact that he could not hear the girls' conversation. Inclining his head slightly, he let his eyes follow Nadia and the nurse as they left the room, mildly interested by it. So far he had discovered that most everyone seemed normal enough - what he remembered anyway, cursed blackouts - well, to the extent that someone incarcerated in an institution can be considered normal.
As if suddenly made aware of what she was doing, Louisa shook her hand free of her hair and hastily smoothed it. She was glad for the topic change. 'OH! Well, they seem okay enough, ' she said, her tone dropped to match Caroline's, 'Caleb is good-looking, but seems a little full of himself, and Anselm...he seems...he seems like he really needs a friend. But I guess we were all a little like that when we first came here.' She cast as furtive a glance as she could muster toward the boys; being in the close quarters of the dining hall, it probably was not as furtive as it could have been.
Anselm had glanced up every now and again at both the group of Louisa and Caroline as well as the twins and Harvey, though he wasn't quite sure of each of their names. He saw the two girls whispering conspiratorially, and vaguely wondered why one of them glanced back at him. Surely he hadn't caused that big of a scene back in the room. Shrugging, he turned his attention back to his food. It wasn't the best food he'd ever had, but Anselm wasn't extraordinarily picky. Taking a few more bites, he set his plastic spoon down, and shifted in his seat, waiting for the designated tea time to end.
Harvey finished eating and left his tray on the table, staring silently at it and wiping away any crumbs left on his suit. He hunched his shoulders and shrank in his seat as he watched Nadia and the nurse leave out of the corner of his eye; he wondered if Nadia was going to throw up, then again he hadn't seen her leaving a lot after meals so either she was getting better or this was completely innocent. His mind wondered back to the sleeping arrangements, they probably took into account everyone's mental illness in order to make it as safe as possible; not his though, he wasn't worth the trouble, he was probably stuck in the middle of the gender divide like he was now.
"Hmmm....you're right, Anselm looks nice enough. I'm sort of curious to see what's wrong with him. He seems rather normal." Caroline looked over at the table again, her eyes falling on Caleb. "Caleb is attractive, but he should know better then to touch people without asking. Especially in a place like this."
After she pushed her tray back from the table's edge, Louisa laid her napkin flat on the table; she was quiet for a long moment, as she seemed to be processing what Caroline said. 'Well, I'm sure we'll get to know them better in the group session later.' She carefully folded the napkin in half, creased the fold, then folded it in half again. 'People who don't mind themselves properly here learn the hard way fast enough,' she said, though her tone was not threatening, but even and honest as always.
Had Caleb heard the conversation between the girls, he most certainly would have been left grinning, his ego fed even beyond that which it already was. But he did not, and so no ego was fed. Instead he was concentrating on chewing the plastic fork that he had been using - just for something to do really, nothing threatening, or anything to have concern over. He bit off one of the points and flicked it onto his plate. After he had tired of this - leaving the fork with no spikes - he dropped it too onto the table. He glanced over at the girls, vaguely wondering what they were discussing - but of course he did not try to hear, he wasn't that nosy.
The doctor who had held Bastien could be seen through the glass panels of the doors to the entrance of the dining hall, he swiped his card and opened to the door to allow Bastien in, but did not come in himself. He shut the door once Bastien was through, and disappeared off down the corridor.
Bastien walked in rigid, a look of infinite rage in his eyes. He didn't even take any food. Eyes fixed on the ground, his hands flexing and unflexing, he picked the most unpopulated corner he could find. Once there, he flopped onto a chair, planted his elbows on the table and held his hair, closing his eyes and holding his breath like he was trying not to explode.
Nadia returned with the nurse a few moments later, and after waiting for the nurse to swipe her card and open the door, Nadia walked back into the cafeteria and started for her table, but she stopped short when out of the corner of her eyes, she noticed Bastien. She stopped, pausing, wondering what was wrong with him, then slowly and tentatively turned and headed towards his little secluded spot. She hovered close to him for a moment, then took a step closer and whispered. "Are you alright..?"
Raphael, who had been looking around the dinner hall in mild disinterest when the doctor had opened the door to allow Bastien watched where the boy sat, he was about to turn his head away when he saw Nadia approach. He nudged his brother then jerked his head over to Bastien and Nadia. He didn't know Bastien, but he thought he'd heard of him, and nothing he'd heard suggested he was a lovable, friendly person.
Bastien slammed his fists on the table and snapped around to face her. "Get away from me!" he hissed through clenched teeth, looking all the while like an enraged snake. Then, regaining some control he lifted a shaky hand to his head and returned to his previous position, mumbling, "Retards... stupid stupid retards..." and hissing in a breath to try to relax.
Anselm turned his attention to the outburst, slightly started. He shifted to the edge of his stool, but did not stand. He could decide whether he would run or try and help, if Bastien turned violent. Probably run, but as far as Anselm had seen, nobody had done anything to merit that yelling, so he ought to stay and help. Anselm settled with shaking his head to himself, wondering what sort of place he was stuck in.
Startled by the sound of Bastien slamming the table, Caroline turned in her seat to see what was going on, "Oh Jesus, Nadia is provoking Bastien." Like Raphael, Caroline had heard the rumors about the scary boy. Standing, she turned to Louisa, "I'm going to go get her. Be ready to get a nurse." She said and then turned and headed over towards the confrontation. Approaching the situation cautiously, she slid in between the two of them facing Nadia, "Nadia, Louisa and I were just having a nice chat and wanted to ask your opinion about something. Why don't we go back to the table and leave Bastien alone." Her voice was calm and light as if she were addressing a child.
Nadia had let out a small yelp when Bastien had shouted at her, and now she stood absolutely still, her ears ringing and her arms tucked to her chest from shoulder to shoulder in a protective "X", and her brown eyes frightened. She whimpered at Caroline and her eyes darted to her, back to Bastien, then to Caroline again before she nodded slowly and shakily, turning and quickly heading back to her table.
"There's a good girl." Caroline said with a smile. Throwing a fierce glance over her shoulder at Bastien, she carefully ushered Nadia back to their table.
Caleb had remained seated through the entire outburst - not usually the first to run to someone's aid unless it'd help him in some way. He did however, turn to watch. After it appeared to abate, he looked back at the mess of plastic he had created on the table, and leant down on his arms once more. "What's his story?" he asked of Raphael and Leo, suddenly, addressing them both. His eyebrows were quirked upwards, questioningly.
As the scene died down Raphael turned back to the table, and the food in front of him. He played absentmindedly with the polo-neck collar covering his throat, eyes glazed and momentarily lost in thought. After a few seconds his eyes re-focused and he shrugged, his hand dropped from his collar and picked up his fork. "Not spoken to him before, heard a bit about him - that he's an aggressive sort. Guess that was the proof." He flicked the plastic fork around his index finger a few times before finally turning back to his half-eaten meal without much interest.
Louisa stayed in her seat, nodding in acknowledgement to Caroline. She watched as the other girl made her way over to the corner. She smiled gently to Nadia as the two returned to the table.
Taking her seat, Caroline glanced over at Louisa and then looked back at Nadia, a firm expression on her face, "We're in a delicate situation here, Nadia. It seems like you're a nice person who wants to help people, but you have to be careful. We're all in here for a reason, and some of the people are dangerous to try and be overly friendly with." Her eye's darted over to Bastien and then back.
Harvey just sat there, hands clasped in front of him as he stared at Bastien and Nadia. His gaze stayed on Bastien, just staring at him unblinkingly as he fumed in a corner to himself. Harvey hated people who were angry for now reason, they cause trouble and hurt wherever they went and didn't care about it.
'Caroline's right, Nadia,' Louisa added before she hazarded a look at Bastien. Her right hand slipped up to tug at a little hank of hair from her ponytail, and there was worriment written all over her face, 'Are you okay?' she asked as she looked back to Nadia, having assumed the girl was as fragile on the inside as she looked on the outside.
Caleb, unaware of his own 'problems', felt suddenly rather ecstatic that he was not 'some crazy angered person' (as his mind put it). "Wow.., well, I guess so.." He kept his head rested on the table, his eyes darting between the others sat with him, and the girls across the room. He was confused by the strange array of people here; they seemed like such a random collection, a real mixed up group of individuals.
"Hm?" Nadia hummed, looking up at Louisa and Caroline, blinking her brown eyes at them. "Oh, y-yes, I'm fine.. He just took me by surprise, that's all.." she whimpered, looking down at her half-eaten tray of food. She suddenly didn't feel so hungry anymore.
When the time was up, a nurse approached the group and beckoned them to follow her to the group therapy session. As the group filed to the corridor, the nurse noted to Bastien that "actions will be taken if he misses another meal" but that she was willing to let it go this time. She herded them down the corridors to the group therapy room, when a doctor was waiting. She smiled as they entered and they were directed to be seated around in a circle. The nurse left them with the doctor, who continued to smile at everybody from her seat in the circle.
"Well, welcome welcome very much. It's good to see you all, I hope you had a good meal and are all energised and fed," she beamed. If she was faking her cheeryness, she was doing a very good job, or maybe she was sincerely that happy; maybe she had been to the medicine cabinet and found the happy pills, who knew. She was youngish - definitely not over 45 - with short blonde hair, but at the same time definitely not new to the job. She seemed comfortable and confident in the large room with the group of young adults gathered there. The room was white and had few things in it - chairs in a circle and a few stacked to the side - and large windows that gave to the grounds. You couldn't say it was a pleasant room, considering that it still was within the asylum, but it was calm.
"And an especial welcome to..." she consulted her folder, "Anselm and Caleb," she beamed at the boys, "who are new. So, in ways of introduction, I'm doctor Hannis, and I'm sure you've been all introduced to each other already, so we'll simply throw you guys in at the deep end and begin the session. Just so you know though, Caleb and Anselm, these guys have all had group sessions with me before, but today is the first time you're all in a group together after the changes doctor Dahle brought about. Anyway, so it's a bit new for us all, we're all getting used to each other, but remember that this is a room of support, always will be. You are safe here." She consulted her folder again for a little while, then turned to Harvey. "I'd like to start with you, Harvey. I heard that you had your medications on you earlier today. Would you like to tell me about that, so I don't have to rely on other people's descriptions of what happened?" She encouraged the boy.
Harvey's eyes widened slightly, shivering a bit as the nurse almost swooped down onto him and began to barrade him with questions. He tried not to flinch, but his knees were shaking in fear so much that he wasn't even sure that he could move at all. He opened his mouth a few times, letting out a soft gargling sound before clamping his jaws tight and shaking his head quickly. He didn't want to speek... he'd rather have the others tell the nurse about him.
Bastien was bent over in his chair, looking at the floor, his clasped hands resting on his knees with his thumbs rubbing together in agitation. He wasn't paying attention, and still very angry.
Nadia bit her lip, shifting in her seat uncomfortably as she listened to the doctor address Harvey. She knew rather well that he didn't like such blatant conversation. She wanted to say something, to jump in, but she knew he probably wouldn't like that either. So, instead, she shifted in her seat again and adjusted her skirt under her bottom, lifting herself off her chair a bit to do so, then plopping back down. She rubbed her bare feet together and ran a hand through her black hair, her brown eyes on the ground.
Sitting her in seat, Caroline folded her arms over her chest and leaned back, crossing her legs delicately. Silently, she watched Harvey struggle to speak with a slight frown on her face. If things proceeded as slowly as they usually did with Harvey then they were going to be here forever.
Doctor Hannis waited a while to see if Harvey would say anything, and eventually, deciding he wasn't going to, spoke herself, "Now Harvey, I know you don't like talking in front of people much - but that's one of the things you're here to work on. But for this session if you'll just tell me who gave you the pills, then I'll leave you alone. Just one word, that's all you have to manage today."
Raphael and Leo had predictably chosen seats together. Raphael sat slouched, one arm resting on his leg, the other behind the chair. His brother sat in an equally relaxed position, legs straight out in front of him, but whereas it was clear Leo was actually paying attention to the nurse and Harvey, it was equally clear that Raphael was not.
Harvey was shaking more, knees going weak as he tried to keep standing in front of the nurse without wetting himself. One word. That's all he needed, one word. One word and it would all be over... "NO!" he practically passed out as he said that, his voice broken and unsteady.
The doctor gave a small sign, but maintained her cheery smile. She thought for a moment, "you're trying to protect whoever it was because you think they were trying to help you." She said, plainly, "but how do you know they were? They gave you the wrong dosage, for one - that could have been very bad for you. And by giving you the pills they just let you remain in that protective shell of yours - how was that really helping you? What if they were really trying to harm you? What if they try to harm another patient, and you did nothing to stop them?"
Harvey's knuckles were going white as he clenched his fists, his loose fitting suit slipping around with his trembling. "They saw" he hissed in a low voice "that I couldn't ask for pills... Even when scared I cannot speak... They gave me the pills and told me to take them only when I had to." One of his nails was biting into his palm, he could feel the pain and the hint of warmth that said he'd cut himself "and so what if I did nothing to stop that? I'm useless. If I helped it wouldn't make a difference."
Doctor Hannis was pleased to get something more out of Harvey, but she didn't show it. "They still gave you the wrong dosage," she pointed out gently, "How do you know they didn't do that deliberately? And you are far from useless, Harvey. You mustn't think like that about yourself." Her eyes flicked to his to his fists and back to his face again in an almost unnoticeable movement, and she made a mental note to tell the doctor that they may have another self-harmer on their hands.
"I-I need to..." Harvey mumbled before his knees gave way and he slumped backwards, folding like a pack of cards backwards and landing with a heavy thud on the floor. He was out cold, but his hands were still clenched tight; one lucky thing is that he hadn't wet himself yet.
Nadia gasped when she saw this happen and she quickly jumped up from her seat, running to him and kneeling beside him on the floor. "Harvey!" she whimpered softly, her hands hovering over him, her inability to touch others keeping her from getting too close. "Harvey! Wake up." she whispered. She whimpered again and looked at the doctor, her hands still held above Harvey's form. "Please do something!"
Caroline took off her glasses, pulled out her handkerchief, and cleaned each of her lenses four times exactly before sliding them back on again. "But she is doing something, Nadia." She said, folding her gloved hands delicately in her lap. "It's called delusional tough love. This passing out really means he's getting better. If fact, if she can push him to having a seizure then they'll probably consider him cured and send him back out into the lovely real world." Her voice was calm but there was absolutely no denying the bitter sarcasm lacing her tone.
Raphael, who had been paying attention from at least the point when Harvey fainted, since it was hard to ignore snorted at Caroline's comment. "Harsh," he chuckled. He didn't seem particularly bothered by Harvey fainting, but then, after being in an asylum for a while, you tended to get used to people suddenly shouting, seizing, or dropping to the floor unconscious. He muttered something to his brother that wasn't in English, still smiling faintly.
Bastien only paused in his thumb fidgeting when Harvey collapsed, and after a quick glance to see what happened, his face twisted into a disgusted sneer.
After watching the whole scene impassively, Anselm spoke up calmly, but with heat in his voice. "It seems you doctors are just making everyone better. Shall we fix me next? I'm so curious to know why I'm here. Perhaps you could fill me in. None of the other people here could give me an answer." Then he added, "And also I'd like to speak to my parents. As soon as possible."
Caleb sat silently through these proceedings, making sure not to involve himself - he believed that you shouldn't interfere, ever. Well, you shouldn't interfere if it would disadvantage you, and this certainly could have. He shifted his feet slightly uncomfortably as Harvey fainted however, his socialite nature trying to get the better of him; people shouldn't be that shy, and shouldn't pass out because of it, in his eyes. He folded his arms and rested his right ankle on his left knee. He, like Anselm, didn't really fully understand why he had to come here to be 'fixed', after all, his 'problem' was entirely physical. Caleb wasn't particularly happy with the hostile manner in which everyone was treating this doctor, she seemed fairly friendly - if a little forced. Silently, he inhaled deeply, his eyes widening a little sarcastically.
Doctor Hannis was seated calmly on her chair with a stern look on her face. "Nadia, please sit down," she said with a calm but loud enough voice to be heard over the commotion in the room. "I know you'd prefer to do it yourself rather than have me help you sit, and you'll help Harvey most if you give him some air. Everyone else too, please calm down and be quiet." Though she addressed everyone, she looked straight at Caroline.
Leo snorted at his brother's comment and muttered back. The doctor caught them in a sideways glance and frowned - they had been told many times to not speak to each other in anything but English.
Caroline stared right back at Dr. Hannis, her face impassive but her eyes glinting behind her glasses. After a moment she sighed and turned her head slightly looking out the darkened window, an air of indifference radiating from her.
If Raphael had seen the doctor's glance he didn't show it. He chuckled again at whatever it was his brother had said, and, with his attention in the collapsed boy fading, he gave a tired yawn, wondering if he'd be able to nod off without the doctor noticing.
All this while Louisa sat quietly and obediently in her chair, but still appeared chagrined after Doctor Hannis's reprimand. With trepidation, she cast Caroline a sidelong glance, and looked like she might say something. However, she saw that the girl had turned to look out the window, so she simply shut her mouth.
Nadia frowned at the doctor with wide, confused eyes. Why was she being chastised for trying to help one of her only friends? If Harvey could be called her friend.. At least she felt that way. "B-but.. I... e-erm.." she stammered, trying to think of some kind of retort, something to keep herself from giving in, but the idea of two large male nurses coming in to help her take her seat did not sound like something she wanted to endure in the slightest. Hell, even if Doctor Hannis herself got up and took a step towards her, Nadia would probably scream and run. She whimpered in defiance, looking back down at Harvey, her hands still hovering above him, shaking with indecision now, before she finally sighed and got up, going back to her seat with her head and eyes down, her face covered in an absolute blush of embarrassment. When she retook her seat, she drew up her knees and feet onto the chair with her, crossing her arms so she was hugging herself tightly, her forehead on her knees so her hair and long skirted legs hid her face.
Dr. Hannis must have already paged for assistance, because at that moment someone appeared outside the door, visible through the glass panel - it was the nurse who had been with them in the common room, and who had then escorted them to tea. She swiped a card and opened the door, taking in the scene in one sweeping gaze, finally fixing her sight on the unconscious boy. She sighed sympathetically at Harvey as the door swung shut behind her, "well, the Doctor said he would crash after the overdose," she mused, "I don't think he expected it to be quite such a literal crash, though." She nodded to Doctor Hannis and glided over to Harvey. She picked him up in her arms without much difficulty, and moved back towards the door. Dr. Hannis got up to open it again for her, and as she did so, the nurse took another look around the room. She noticed Nadia, and seeming to understand she was upset, and why, said, "Don't worry, sweet-pea, I'll look after him." Then she turned to Dr. Hannis, who was now holding the door open for her, "I'll bring him back when he wakes up." And with that she was gone, and the door was shut again, and Dr. Hannis was back in her chair, studying her notes.
She took a moment to read something, then looked up at the group with an undaunted smile, "so," she said, "Louisa. How do you feel about the changes the doctor told you about today?" And before waiting for an answer, she added, 'Please remember this is a group therapy session, it shouldn't just be me and one person talking. Those of you who've had group therapy sessions before, I expect you to show our new arrivals how this should work." Then she looked to Louisa expectantly.
Caleb steadfastly sat still, his opposite leg now crossed over the knee - the only change he had made in the past few minutes. He too looked to Louisa, mimicking the expectant expression of the good Doctor Hannis. His head was inclined slightly to the right, his gaze unforgiving. He knew a blackout was coming, but he refused to give in to it - he wasn't about to show weakness in a room full of people. They hadn't noticed it earlier, thank God, but he couldn't be sure they would be so ignorant this time. His eyes slid shut momentarily, but he snapped them open again, returning his stare to the young lady the doctor spoke to. Do.. Not.. Black.. Out.. He thought this over and over, maintaining his outward casual appearance.
Upon being addressed, Louisa's attention snapped promptly toward the doctor. She did not hesitate to speak, 'Honestly, Doctor Hannis, I have to say that it was surprising and it makes me a little nervous.' She paused long enough to grimace, wrinkling her nose and squinting her eyes, '...the nurse tried to convince us that she mentioned it before, but I am certain I would have remembered it. I do remember so much. Anyway, I know everything you are doing here is going to help me get better, and the sooner I'm better, the sooner I can go live with Grandmother again, so I'll just think that it's for the best, even though it makes me nervous.' It was like diarrhea of the mouth when she spoke; it would be difficult for someone to get a word in edgewise. She punctuated her words with a small, tidy smile and looked from the Doctor to the other members of the session.
Caroline turned to listen to Louisa as she spoke. When the girl finished Caroline flashed her a slight smile, happy to know that she wasn't the only person that was concerned about the living situation.
Anselm shrugged. "I don't see any reason to be concerned. I have no prejudices against sharing a room, and it's not like anyone here is dangerous, right? I mean, if they were, the situation would be monitored closely, I'd expect." Anselm was musing out loud, and oblivious of his tactless manner. "In any case, there hasn't been any huge trouble so far, so nothing too bad can come as a consequence..."
"I can assure you the doctor told you about all the changes that were being made when he first introduced you to each other as a group - he remarked to me just afterward how well you had all taken it. It did make me wonder if you'd all been paying attention, since we certainly had been expecting some adverse reactions. I suppose that answers that question." she paused, and made a note on her pad: 'thinks herself observant, but isn't...'
Raphael glanced over at Anslem as he spoke. Hadn't he been pissy about the doctors and how he was being handled just a few minutes ago when Harvey fainted? And now he seemed to have forgotten that, or gotten over it. Maybe he was bi-polar or something like that, he mused. He didn't particularly care about the arrangements, he was used to sharing a room anyway.
Alas, Bastien wasn't paying attention.
Caleb sighed lightly, the exhale as quiet as he could make it. It wasn't that he was bored of these proceedings, the problem was he was tired. He put a hand over his mouth, and closed his eyes for a few seconds, stifling a yawn. He stayed that way for a while, before opening his eyes, looking somewhat bewildered. He remained silent.
Something in Louisa's smiling expression twitched as she listened to Doctor Hannis's comment, and as she watched her write something down. That was never good. A veil of dismay transformed her chipper expression, and Louisa's right hand shot to her ponytail, which she grabbed by the base. With a hard tug, she pulled down with enough force to jerk the position of her head: chin upwards, eyes downcast, desperately and unnervingly fixed upon the Doctor. It certainly looked painful, at least, but the girl seemed oblivious. 'When do we get to go outside again?' she asked in a pitifully tiny voice.
The doctor glanced up at Louisa, back to her paper, then did a double-take and switched her gaze straight back to the girl. "Leave your hair alone." She demanded, fixing the girl with an authoritative stare, not intending to answer her question until her hands were both safely away from her hair.
"It could be that we're all a bit nervous about the new arrangements because we don't really know each other," Leo offered as he joined the conversation as the Doctor suggested. "I'd say that's only normal to be a bit apprehensive about sharing a room with people you don't know. But when we get to know each other a bit better, it won't feel weird. I know I wouldn't feel weird about sleeping in the same room with my female friends or my sisters..." he trailed off uncomfortably, like he had remembered something painful.
Caroline cleared her throat twice, "But the difference is that your friends and sisters probably aren't mentally unstable. Clearly, I'm the only one that thinks that rooming strangers of the opposite sex together is insane, even for this place." She turned and surveyed the room with a cool expression. "I don't mean to offend anyone, but what if one of these fine gentleman has multiple personalities and one of them happens to like assaulting women in their sleep or something along those lines? Why would you be willing to take such a chance." She asked, clearly addressing Dr. Hannis. "There are so many liability and legal risks you are taking by putting us in this situation." While she talked, her fingers rhythmical tapped against her knee.
Begrudgingly, Louisa slid her hand down from her ponytail, not letting go until the very tip; there were a few loose strands of hair between her fingers. Dejected, she turned her attention from the Doctor's stern look to Leo and then to Caroline as they spoke, and wound then unwound the hair around her right forefinger as she listened.
"And how do multiple-personalities pose a threat to you, exactly, Caroline?" The doctor asked after staring at Louisa for a few seconds longer to make sure she wasn't going to touch her hair again. "And you know that all violent patients are kept in their own ward, separate from the rest of you at all times. You're grasping at straws, dear."
Caroline's eyes flashed but she maintained a neutral expression, "It doesn't change the fact that this is a risk. And please don't address me with that placating tone. Just because I wash my hands until they bleed and have to do things in even numbers doesn't get you the right to address me like a child. I know who and what I am, and concerns are understandable. This feels like a punishment. Your files should tell you that I'm a very privet person and don't like sharing living space with others. In fact, the idea of having to share a bathroom with anyone, let alone men, is making me nauseous." Her tone was even, but if someone looked closely they would see that her eyes were overly bright, as if she were trying to hold back tears.
The doctor blinked, 'Address you as a child? I certainly didn't." She paused to make another note on her paper. 'Feels she is not being treated as a child when not. ' Then she looked at Caroline. "We are not here to pamper your mental problems. We are here to correct them. Perhaps we should address this issue of it feeling like a punishment for you. Why is that? Because you don't understand the possible benefits? Or is it simply 'I don't want this, therefore it must be a punishment?'" She crossed her legs awaited an answer.
Willing her tears not to fall, Caroline took a shaky breath. She was tired of people pretending to listen, then twisting her words and not understanding. Rolling her shoulders slightly she folded her hands in her lap. "You know, it's been a long day. I don't feel like arguing, so I think I'm done talking for now." She said simply, re-crossing her own legs turning her gaze away from the doctor.
Caleb suddenly sneered and turned to face Caroline, "Don't be so over-sensitive, it's really... Irritating," he rolled his eyes, turning his face away from her again, staring instead at the doctor, though not addressing her. He folded his arms and rested his heels against the floor, tapping them slightly. "You seem to be the only one complaining here, and it's just so pointless. By the looks of it, we are in some form of institution, meaning that whatever we want... or demand," he gestured offhandedly to her, "Means nothing. Clearly we all have problems, and these guys know how to deal with them." He finally closed his mouth after this outburst and sat glowering across the room, his right leg twitching slightly, as if he were antsy to get moving.
Nadia--after having seen Harvey off from his faint, given a weak and hopeful smile to the nurse as she left--sat in her chair with her knees still pulled up and her arms hugging herself tightly, tears in her eyes, and listening silently to everyone else bicker and babble and talk, she felt like her ears would fall off. All she could do was worry about Harvey. He had tried to help her before, after all. She bit her lip and her shoulders shook as she tried to hold back sobs, but it didn't keep a pathetic whimper from escaping her lips. It was happening again.. her imagination was running away with scared and irrational worries for Harvey and everyone else she had loved outside of this insane asylum. She started to hear screams, low and faint at first, then starting to grow louder in her head. She put her hands over her ears and whimpered again, shutting her eyes tightly, not wanting to see the dead that she knew would accompany them at any moment. "D-doctor.." she whined, but it was no more than a squeak.
Turning her head sharply she glared at Caleb. "Do Not presume to anything about me or about this place. I'm NOT being oversensitive! You haven't been here for over three bloody months, and I'm sure your family hasn't invested the as much money into this hell hole as mine has. Enjoy the new cafeteria? Well, that was bloody built of Jacob's family money! And as for wants? Well, I volunteered to come here, I wanted to come here. Thought it would be the best thing. Bethlem is good on paper, but once they lock the doors and the family has left.....well...let's just say it's not a bloody fucking picnic." She kept her voice to a low snarl and if looks could kill, well, Caleb would have been dead where he sat.
Raphael snorted imperceptibly and leaned towards his brother murmuring something in his ear. He hoped Caroline intended to be like this every session - the doctor would never get around to the rest of them if she kept this up, which was just fine by him.
As the twenty-year-old realised that the stuck-up young woman was arguing back, he moved his gaze back to her. He stretched his shoulders back boredly. "So you are the rich-kid of the bunch, noted." Caleb took very little notice of what she said, he wasn't afraid of her minute threats or her challenging tone. After a short thought, he added, "And I really couldn't care less what horror stories you want to tell us, or about the fact that the Jacob Family has donated to the cause," The sneering expression never left his face once, he was growing extremely bored and impatient with this girl. "Oh.., and I did not make a single presumption about you, until now." He tipped her a wink and turned away again, his hands closed into fists, yet tucked up under his arms, so the threat was not visible.
During the course of the argument, Louisa had stopped fidgeting and surreptiously slipped her hands into the pockets of her track jacket; it was an oddly relaxed gesture against the stiffness of her upright posture. Initially, her attention was on Caroline, with whom she sympathized and wholeheartedly agreed with, yet she knew it would do no good to voice her opinion. She turned her head toward Nadia, however, having heard a squeak from her direction. 'Harvey will be fine, I'm sure,' she leaned in toward the huddled girl and offered in a whisper, 'and we will get to see him soon.'
"N-no.. It's not.." Nadia whimpered to Lousia's words, which were quickly becoming drowned in mental screams. She clutched her hands around her ears again, her nails digging into her scalp, and this being the second time today, it caused the skin of her scalp to start bleeding. She shook again and then gasped when she opened her eyes, seeing a flicker of something out of the corner, making her twitch and whine. "W-WHAT'S--?! Something's in here!" she cried, hugging herself tighter, as if the flooring around her chair were molten lava.
About to argue back, Caroline's attention was drawn to Nadia and the insult aimed at Caleb died on her lips, "Jesus, she's bleeding." Trying not to panic at the sight of the blood, she looked over at Louisa and then turned her attention to Dr. Hannis. "Doctor, please do something."
The doctor also observed Nadia's approaching attack, and calmly approached her after paging for help. "Nadia... focus. Remember what we've talked about in therapy, what you can do to stop these attacks... You know they're not real... stay with me..." She spoke over the girl's whimpers with a soft voice, not approaching the girl. After a shortest possible moment the same nurse they had met already came in, saw what was going on with Nadia, and nodding to the doctor she approached the girl, also speaking softly, and after a short exchange helped her wobblily out of the room. After they were gone and the room quieted down again, the doctor turned to the group again.
"So, Louisa," doctor Hannis turned to the girl again. "We have discussed, with the other doctors, of the possibility of asking for your - and some of the rest of you too - help with the gardens here, you know, looking after the grounds: raking, weeding, watering and so forth... How would you feel about that?"
Leaning back in her chair, Caroline took a trembling breath. The sight of blood and other body fluids made her sick to her stomach. With a slight shake of her head, she closed her eyes and tried to calm down enough to stop the nausea rolling around inside of her.
Caleb glanced somewhat uncaringly at the girl as she left the room, then turned his own attention back to the doctor, quietly taking in all that she said - he had to work out more of what was going on here. The idea of doing gardening, he had to admit, did not appeal to him, but he didn't particularly care, as it was not he that she was talking to. His right ankle moved atop his left knee again, and he folded his arms once more, his mouth firmly shut.
Louisa watched after Nadia as she was taken from the room, her eyes affixed on the door after it was shut. That is, until she was addressed. 'Oh, Dr. Hannis,' she gushed sweetly, 'I would love to help out with the gardens!' She smiled gratefully at the doctor, seeming to suddenly forget her concern for the bloodied group member just recently removed from the room.
Anselm roused himself from his own thoughts and shifted in his seat. "What gardens? I didn't see any on my way in, though admittedly I wasn't quite looking for them. How large?" Anselm wasn't quite interested in the gardens, but anything that would make a difference from the same white walls and locked doors he had seen so far would be appreciated. No matter what they promised about case files and other doctors, he didn't think he would ever get out of here. Still, it didn't seem fair to take it out on these nurses.
'Oh, it's outside, Anselm!' Louisa spouted excitedly. Despite the girl's bland blonde hair and her washed-out brown eyes, there was a healthy, rosy tint to her cheeks-- whenever possible, the girl obviously spent time outside.
Caleb's eyes followed the conversation as it darted about the room, though he remained silent himself. He had to admit, although he didn't care the slightest bit about gardening, or even being outside, the possibility of leaving this place didn't go unnoticed. He had been there mere hours, and already he had grown weary - or, he had surmised that he had been there hours only. After a few moments, he closed his eyes, resting them carefully. Shattered was how he currently felt, no doubt owing to the 'excitement' of moving in here. Returning his gaze to the speakers, he yawned.
"It's outside. Really...?" Anselm asked with sarcastic enthusiasm. "You mean we get to actually go outside? How extraordinary of this place. I simply can't imagine what other delightful wonders I'll find in this place." His curiousity about the gardens satisfied, Anselm lapsed back into a sour disposition, and slouched back in his chair to make it clear he was not interested in being there.
'Usually, only if you're very good..do they let you go outside,' Louisa replied tentatively. While the girl did have a fabulous knack for the obvious and a general and thorough air of naivete, Anselm's sarcasm did not go unnoticed. She reached her right hand up, as if she was about to stroke her hair like she did before, but she stopped midway. Louisa glanced at the Doctor, then back to Anselm. 'Only if you're very good..do they let you go outside.' As she fell silent, she shoved her hands snuggly into her jacket pockets again.
"Louisa is right," the doctor said. "this place is as pleasant to stay in as you make it. Good behaviour and positive attitude go along way - and they don't go unnoticed." She smiled encouragingly. "As for your question, Anselm, the gardens are quite large with tended trees, bushes and flowerbeds as well as old wild trees around the edges, a field of grass for sporting activities, a stream... In one corner we have an old graveyard from the war-times, it's been long out of use, but it's a very peaceful place to meditate." She seemed pleased to speak about the positive sides of the asylum. "But lets ask the others: what do you think about the grounds outside and spending time there?" She opened the question to the whole group.
Caleb finally took this opportunity to pipe up, and actually speak to the doctor - she seemed pleasant enough. "Spending time outside seems pretty cool, but I dunno about gardening.., it's not really my thing," For once today, he appeared to be trying to encourage speech between the group, looking to others as he spoke. He folded his arms again, and sniffed slightly. Despite the fact that he had scorned Caroline earlier, he still felt compelled to be seen in a good light within the group, so he forced a smile.
The Doctor smiled to Caleb. "That's perfectly okay, Caleb. Is there anything else you like to do? Do you like books for example? We have a small but good library here on site, and we'd appreciate if you would want to help with that perhaps." Then she addressed the whole group. "We'd like you to be involved in some of the day-to-day tasks of the asylum to keep you active and to help you feel like you're not completely wasting your time here. Also, maybe you'll pick up some useful skills that you can apply once you get better, that might help you get a job."
Caroline turned her head slightly when the doctor asked if Caleb would be interested in the library. She tended to spend a lot of time in there when she wasn't in the asylum's music room. She wasn't fond of the idea of having to spend time and work with the obnoxious young man.
Bastien's entire body shuddered as he tried not to explode. He was clenching his fists so hard his knuckles were turning white.
Caleb neglected to reply to the doctor, he glanced around looking for who she initially addressed before giving his own input. It seemed a little strange to him that she should address another immediately. "Well.., I certainly wouldn't mind working in the library..., as long as I don't have to stay too quiet." He smirked slightly. It wasn't like he remembered many of the others' names - Caroline seemed to be the only one which stuck in his mind - so his minor confusion quickly abated.
A small smile twitched at the corner of Louisa's mouth, as she felt validated by the doctor's previous comments about behaviour. She quietly regarded the other members seated in the circle. She was content, for the moment, that the conversation was largely civil. However, her attention lingered on Bastien. If he wasn't busy looking creepy, he looked mighty angry, and that left the girl with a general feeling of unease. So, Louisa looked at Caleb, since he spoke last.
Out of the corner of her eye Caroline noticed the odd shuddering coming from Bastien and she subtly glanced over at him. Everyone in this place had problems, that was a given considering it was an asylum, but something was seriously off about Bastien. He was dangerous, and that made her a little more then nervous.
Anselm completely ignored Bastien, who appeared to be having a panic attack, and instead asked in a bored voice, "How many books are we allowed to take out of the library?" A moment after he asked, it occurred to him he might not be able to take any back to his room. Who knows what horror he might unleash with a book. Any semblance of interest the thought of books might have aroused faded from his face, and he continued to slump back in his chair.
Louisa opened her mouth, and it seemed as if she was going to say something to Anselm. But she didn't. He was snippy last time, and it hurt her feelings. Instead, she removed her hand from her left pocket and methodically stroked her left eyebrow, her gaze having meanwhile settled on her lap.
Doctor Hannis nodded to Anselm. "You can have up to three books out of the library at a time. I hope you will find it satisfactory," she smiled encouragingly to Anselm. "Did I understand correctly Anselm that you like to write? Would you like to tell me about that? Why you like it, or what kind of things you like to write about?"
Anselm's mouth fell open in surprise for just a moment before he closed it again. In his sulkiness, he was used to asking questions and glaring at others, rather than being the subject of attention. His slight nervousness caused him to forget his irritation at the doctors for shipping him off to here as they had. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and took a moment to think before answering. "Er. Yes, I do enjoy writing. That is, I write for a living is what I mean. It's really not that..." He was unused to explaining his writing to people he wasn't familiar with, and an expression of irritation flashed across his face. "Well you see, I write because I enjoy reading, and also because written word captures thoughts and feelings better than most media in my opinion. If you truly want to make people understand, write words that make them see what you mean. That's how it is."
Doctor Hannis nodded encouragingly. "That's true, writing is a powerful tool. The written word has wrought many changes in the world throughout the ages, in all different aspects of life. It is an avenue of expression. We usually feel good when we express ourselves to others, so it is important to discover a way of expression that works for you. It can be music, literature, art, dance, anything. We all need those lines of communication to be open. I want you all to keep this in mind. And if you don't quite know if you have a good method of self-expression, we can explore it together and help you find it. Would anybody like to share anything about their own personal method of expression - or lack of - now?" She glanced around the room with a friendly gaze.
Caleb grinned - it was the sort of smile that did not betray whether or not somebody was joking, a sly, but somewhat lovable one - and nodded a little emphatically. "Oh yes.., but first... Will we have any access to heat - you know, traditional fires and such?" he widened his eyes and laughed lightly.
Raphael, who was not quite asleep, slowly raised his head, and his eyebrow, to examine Caleb with a quizzical look. He wondered whether the boy was implying that he'd rather burn the books than read them, or just being an ass. He supposed that the boy could actually think he was cold - maybe that was part of whatever mental condition he had, but the hospital was certainly warm enough. Maybe he was an arsonist or pyromaniac - whatever it was people cared to call those types these days. He continued his silent speculation, but said nothing.
"Doctor," Bastien suddenly hissed between clenched teeth. "I need to take a break."
Doctor Hannis looked at Bastien with mild concern. "Are you sure you wouldn't be able to hold out just a little bit longer? You've done so well today, and we will be doing relaxation techniques at the end of the session," she said, although it was unclear what she was referring to by Bastien 'having done well'. "And if you miss that, we'll need to discuss with the Doctor alternate treatment strategies." Her voice was as mildly concerned as her face.
Caroline watched the exchange with wary eyes, glance between Bastien and Hannis. As the doctor talked she pushed back in her seat slightly, as if to put more distance between herself and Bastien. The boy looked ready to lose it and when he did she didn't want to be in his way.
"I'm not having a very good day, doctor...." Bastien said, breathing deeply to contain himself.
Doctor Hannis nodded. She was just about to page the nurse, when the door opened and a nurse escorted Nadia and Harvey back to the room. The doctor exchanged a few words with the nurse, who turned to Bastien and said "alright honey, come with me, please." The doctor waited for Harvey and Nadia to take their seats and for Bastien to leave the room before continuing:
"Good thing you're back. We've been discussing some duties we'd like you to do to help around the asylum, and then we talked about methods of self-expression. And we're about to go on to do some exercises on relaxation techniques, unless there is anything anyone would like to say or add." She looked around the group. "I really would like to hear from you, Harvey," she said with her friendliest voice.
Harvey's eyes were wide however, flicking from corner of the room to corner as he rubbed his hands over one another; it wasn't the fear of being noticed, that was much different, this was a new anxiousness that hovered over him. He was mumbling slightly to himself and barely noticed that Doctor Hannis had talked to him, which was surprising considering his usual habit would have been to lept in fright; he seemed preoccupied, or perhaps simply not all there.
Bastien quickly rose and left, not looking at anyone.
Louisa stopped picking at her eyebrow and looked sidelong at Caroline, right after Bastien spoke. That didn't bode well for the aforementioned, new sleeping arrangements the nurses and doctors spoke of before, and she was certain the other girl would share her obvious concern. When Nadia and Harvey re-entered the room, however, she smiled just a bit, and decided to focus on them. Louisa couldn't help but steal another glance at Bastien as he left the room, at which time, she shuddered involuntarily.
Caleb had looked at Harvey when he was asked, politely, to speak, but his gaze immediately shifted to Bastien as he left the room. Sniffing slightly, he folded his arms, interested how things would pan out now that the others had returned, and the seemingly unstable Bastien had gone elsewhere. He cleared his throat quietly.
The Doctor allowed a silence to wallow in the room for a while, before adding "anything anybody wants to add? How about you Leonardo, or Raphael? You have been awfully quiet today."
Raphael had stopped paying attention again and as such, when the mention of his name drew him back to reality, had absolutely no idea what sort of response the Doctor was expecting. He looked around the room as if the answer would be found there, then eventually shrugged and nudged his brother, indicating that he should respond for both of them. Leo tended to be better at the talking stuff anyway.
Leo straightened in his chair and cleared his throat. "Both the library-work and the garden-job sound fine, there's perks to both and it'll give something to do. And ummm... err, yeah." He didn't want to just flow through and say all the right things that Doctor Hannis would want to hear, because he knew she had an excellent bullshit-detector, but he had grown somewhat wary of speaking openly in front of the doctors, in fear of revealing something that they might use against Raphael. "I can't really just... kind of at the top of my head, add anything more right now. The, ummm, self-expression thing, we'd need to, err, think about it a little bit, but I'm sure there's something we already, like, do that kinda qualifies that we just can't recognise right now." He shifted in his chair again and looked around the room, trying to look comfortable and normal.
Harvey had gone silent now, leaning forward slightly in his chair and peering hard at Doctor Hannis; he was checking the faces of every female in the room but right now he was targeted on Doctor Hannis. He wanted to check if he'd had some sort of hallucination and it was in fact one of the people he knew that he saw... but surely his stupid mind would never have dressed them in such an intricate costume just for his own attack. His tongue was sticking out in concentration and his brow wrinkled as he thought, familiar lines already etched there from years of screwing up his forehead.
The Doctor let out a small sigh of disappointment, then flipped to another part of her folder. "Alright, if we are all more or less done for today, we can close with some muscle relaxation. Everybody lean back on your chair, sit comfortably, be calm, and close your eyes." She waited for everyone to get comfortable before starting to instruct in a calm, quiet voice everyone to focus on their right foot and tense the muscles for 8 seconds while inhaling, and then releasing the tension from the muscles from their feet while exhaling.
Doing as he was told, Harvey relaxed back in his chair; his mind kept wondering though, not the usual depths of "why is she looking at me?" and "I just want to be alone" but straying upon the woman again. Where had she come from? Where had she dissapeared to? How did she get pins? Most importantly was why him? Why had Mercy visited him? He suddenly found himself three stretches behind everyone and hastened to listen the the doctor again.
After Leo spoke, Anselm stared at him a bit. He must have missed something, because besides being agreeable to the library and garden ideas, it seemed like Leo had said remarkably little of substance. But that probably wasn't the case, and Anselm was fairly sure he was just missing something. After all, he didn't go around himself saying words without trying to communicate something. He didn't think so, at least. At the doctor's suggestion of muscle relaxation, Anselm frowned a bit more. He didn't see any reason for him to participate other than to avoid causing trouble; he wasn't insane, and he considered himself fairly calm. However, in the short mental deliberation, he decided that causing trouble wasn't the best way to get what he wanted. As he closed his eyes and went through the ridiculous exercises, his thoughts turned, once again, to the events that led him to be here. A sudden arrival by men in white coats, being told in no uncertain terms that he was to go with them, his brief and pathetic attempt to resist them, the long ride in their van, and most of all, the lack of explanation... Anselm certainly did not relax during the exercises. They made him much more aggravated, and renewed his anger and resentment at his treatment. He quietly seethed, with his eyes closed and appearing to flex the muscles he was told to.
Despite her recent worriment, Louisa seemed to be enjoying the relaxation excerise. It was so much easier when someone else directed her thoughts, her actions. She sighed gently and smiled a bit.
Caleb did as he was told, but kept his eyes open. In his current state of mind he did not feel it particularly wise to close them. In a room full of 'crazies'? Genius. Allowing himself to be directed, he felt tension leave, though he kept his eyes glued to Dr Hannis. After growing bored of her features - not that he had anything against them - he started to gaze at others. It appeared that everyone was pretty much happy to be ordered around, but then, that's up to them. He broke out of the stretching regime for a moment to lengthen and crack his back, yawning silently. Another glance at Dr Hannis and he joined the exercise again, growing steadily more bored.
Leaning back in the chair, Caroline followed the doctors instructions knowing full well that after this they would be free for the night. Feeling a slight chill, like someone was watching her, she opened her eyes and saw Caleb glancing around at everyone. Shooting him a cold glare, she shifted in her seat slightly and tried to focus back on the exercise.
After she had returned to her seat, Nadia had stayed quiet, a little embarrassed about her outburst earlier. She kept her hands in her lap on her thighs, folded and her thumbs slowly twiddling with her eyes down and she didn't exactly follow the exercises like she was being told to. She didn't feel there was a need for them at the moment. The nurse had more than calmed her down in her time away from the group. She looked around at everyone as well, at all the faces, and wondered if they were upset at her for her sudden reaction to something that apparently was never there. She sighed and felt tears in her eyes, but she swallowed them back and closed her eyes to keep them back. Eventually, she thought the exercises would at least get her mind off it, and she could apologize to everyone later, so she followed the instructions slowly, her hands staying in her lap, her bare feet flexing and relaxing.
Caleb caught the glare and sneered, decided then and there that he would not do as he was told entirely on the grounds of the haughty look he received from Caroline. He was growing weary of this structure, incredibly weary. It wasn't that he scorned the exercises they were set - he could certainly see how these people thought they could help with his blackouts, relaxation and all of that - it was just that he had grown antsy. He wanted to stretch his legs, have a little fun. There were some pretty interesting looking folk in here with him, guys and girls alike, and getting to know them on a more personal basis just seemed like it would be more entertaining, to him. But then, life isn't about entertainment. He sighed and folded his arms once more, stretching out his legs and resting his heels noisily against the floor.
Doctor Hannis finished running through the relaxation exercises and smiled, "there, don't we all feel better for that?" she asked. "Now you all get to see your new dorm room. You'll have two hours all to yourselves in there before lights out, a nurse will of course remain in there with you until bedtime. Louisa, Raphael and Nadia, will you stay behind a moment, please?"
Harvey stood up slowly and carefully, eyes cast down again as his mind pondered across the happenings of the day; it was... strange to say the least. He wrinkled his brow, wriggled his toes, then stepped soundlessly out towards the doors as he waited for them to be let out.
As the excercises ended, Louisa opened her eyes and she released a slow, deep breath. She cocked her head toward the Doctor, her expression quizzical. 'Certainly, Doctor Hannis,' she replied. Then, she looked in turn to Raphael and Nadia, who had also been asked to stay, and she shifted a little in her seat. 'I hope this is about helping out in the gardens,' she said brightly, but with an underlying tone of concern.
Leo got up briskly and straightened his trousers and shirt, and anxiously looked over at his brother - who was fast asleep on his chair - when he heard Raph's name mentioned. As discreetly as possible, to not draw undue attention, he leaned over to his brother and touched him gently to wake him up. "Just let it slide, you'll be ok, and I'll see you in a bit," he said, trying to give some hope and strength to Raph through his feeble words. He hoped he could help, share, give strength, or anything. The way the staff picked on Raph annoyed Leo beyond belief, but at time he found himself thinking that Raph wasn't exactly helping his own case either, and that annoyed Leo too - but he felt guilty for even thinking that, and told himself off in his head. Then he realised he was arguing with himself in his head, became aware of how insane that was and tried to stop himself from doing that. He forced himself to focus again, and headed to the door.
Nadia's dark eyes blinked once when Dr. Hannis said her name and she slowly looked to the other woman, her black hair slowly falling to cover one eye, and she brushed it out of the way gently, pulling her knees up so her feet were hanging off her chair by the heels, and she nodded silently. "Okay..." she whispered. She wondered what was wrong now. She was just trying so hard to ignore the voices that were slowly whispering in her ears, trying to get her attention.
Caleb smiled and stood up, stretching out his arms and spine. He glanced around at the others, and briefly wondered why the three had to wait behind. Looking to the door, he headed towards it, checking to see if others were following.
Caroline stood and followed behind Caleb. She was quiet and already dwelling on the fact that she would be sleeping in the same room as other people. She breathed shallowly but managed to look confident enough. She knew that with the situation as it was she would most likely get little to no sleep that night.
Raphael stirred at the touch of his brother, and realising what had happened blinked himself awake, stifling a yawn as he stood and stretched. It took him a few seconds to realise what was happening, then his shoulders slumped glumly. He nodded in response to his brother's words, but Leo was already heading towards the door.
On the other side of the door the nurse who had been their escort all day appeared again, swiping her card to open the door. She held it open so that the patients could file out, then with a nod to Doctor Hannis, she let the door swing shut again, and escorted the group off, leaving Louisa, Nadia and Raphael with the doctor.
Stumble!