2006-10-11 [sequeena_rae]: You should sell your legs, they'd bring in a lot of money XP

2006-10-11 [Zab]: XD!!!

2006-10-11 [Kelaria]: I actually get really self concious about my legs :/ probably my least favorite feature of my body.. but I'm dealing with it. I just need to exercise and tone ^_^ then I'll be good :P

2006-10-11 [Kelaria]: Kelaria = Lazy bum (most of the time) ;) :P

2006-10-11 [sequeena_rae]: I hate my thighs, but my calves are the best (if I ignore the stretchmarks)

2006-10-11 [Kelaria]: Oh yeah, I do like my calves :D hate my thighs >.>

2006-10-11 [Zab]: I hate my knees..

2006-10-11 [sequeena_rae]: Knees are knobbly x)

2006-10-11 [Delladreing]: I love all of my legs X) Stretchamarks and all.

2006-10-11 [Draugluin]: If you're willing to spend god knows how much money, bio oil really works for stretch marks and scars. I detest my toes due to their length. However I do enjoy how dextrous they are, even if they are not that aesthetically pleasing. XP

2006-10-11 [Delladreing]: Meh, I didn't need bio oil to get rid of mine.
showed Squee may as well post it here anyway as I bare my soul a lot. Thats a faded stretchmark without any oils or nothing. Yea see that teeny tiny white mark? XD

2006-10-11 [Kelaria]: I have lots of stretch marks on my upper thighs >.<

2006-10-11 [Draugluin]: o.O I can hardly see it.

2006-10-11 [Delladreing]: So do I, and on my bum ^^ but I love them all, for some reason I just like having them. It might have something to do with the fact they're like victory marks in regaining the weight I lost. ut I do like having them.

2006-10-11 [Delladreing]: Yea, its faded, they used to be bright red a while ago, but eventually they just fade to silver white marks. Kinda like a cool tattoo :p

2006-10-11 [Draugluin]: I don't see the problem that alot of women ahve with stretch marks. Most of them really can't be helped. The ones i've seen are quite nice as well. It would be so awesome if it was possible to get silver tattoos. Not the pencil crayon silver either.^^

2006-10-11 [Delladreing]: Indeed it would! And yea, the way I see it its just one of the things you have to get to be a woman, no shame in that :p

2006-10-11 [darthsenshin]: yep

2006-10-11 [Delladreing]: Ok people that are commenting: JOOOOIN XD

Support my new baby project.

2006-10-11 [Draugluin]: Exactly. Like men get stupid hairy faces and on the most part revert back to the 'grunt and point' method of communication.

2006-10-11 [Delladreing]: And yet we still love you XP

See its all nature's way ^^

2006-10-11 [Draugluin]: I myself hate my hair. Five minutes in the rain and I look like the love-child of Ron McDonald and one of those little troll things that used to be popular. Xp

2006-10-11 [Delladreing]: lmao, aww bless :P eh wear a hat o.O

2006-10-11 [Draugluin]: I'm not a hat person. More of an umbrella kind of guy. ^^

2006-10-11 [darthsenshin]: and they expect us to shave for them

2006-10-11 [Delladreing]: Pft I wax for me and nobody else. I just don't like being hairy o.O; and I don't know how to use a razor ^^ So I rip the hair out by the root.

2006-10-11 [Keii]: Some of us like shaving for ourselves :)

(I'm slow tonight XD)

2006-10-11 [Draugluin]: I shave for my beard for myself as much as my partner. I'm sure women feel the same about leg hair.

2006-10-11 [darthsenshin]: oww wax bad

2006-10-11 [Delladreing]: And all other hair I think. I can't stand being hairy at all, its one of my things that makes my skin crawl, so I wax. Continually. All my hair roots are dying XD

2006-10-11 [Delladreing]: :O you will not insult the wax o.o; its my god of hair removal, I don't even feel the pain anymore because I'm so used to it.

2006-10-11 [Draugluin]: XD I've been tempted to try wax just to see if it is really painfull. I assume it is, riping thousands of hairs from thousands of holes. Ouch.

2006-10-11 [darthsenshin]: still oww but i will be back laters all tired and gotta work tonight at 12 midnight

2006-10-11 [BarleySinger]: Back when I was a young child (before I was 8) I had a reasonable body image. I didn't really think one way or another about how I looked, I just lived. 

Then later on around age 8 or 9, I began to aquire a very bad body image. I believed that I was totally undesirable and unlovable and that nobody could ever want *me* for any romatic reason, or even want me as their friend. I began over time to hate myself.

The truth is that I was quite cute. I was also very 'sought after' by the little girls, who chased me (I did not run away). 

These feelings were very stong. I could not even see obvious contradictions happening around me. I did not notice that I was being hit on a great deal as a teen and as a young adult by people quite interested in me. My wife saw it happen. I was completely clueless.

I simply couldn't believe that anybody would be interested in me, so the actions of the young women around me did not register no matter how obvious they tried to be.

Now that I am an adult and have had a lot of time to think things over, I have realized that there were two main sources for these feelings: my peers and the preacher at my parents church. 

When kids try and insult other kids a verfy common method in young kids, is to call the person a thing that they are not, sort of the opposite of how their attack perceives them. The smart kid is called stupid, the graceful dancer is called a clutz and the cut people are called ugly. The attacker often attacks the target on the basis of the tagets best attributes (which the attacker finds threatening). 

In my case this was the fact that I was unusually cute. I had full red lips, big dark eyes, long eye lashes and cheek bones that were great. I had lots of girls chasing me. As a result I becasme a taget based onb my looks and was called 'ugly'. After enough attacks (coupled with the actions of my parents minister) I believed it.

2006-10-11 [Delladreing]: Bye Darth, and Drag give it a go :P well on your leg first or something, then you can know the pain. I do my eyebrows with waxing and its not too bad.

and Barley *Hugs* glad to see yo on here :)

2006-10-11 [Keii]: I would love to be able to wax (more than my eyebrows anyway), but with the wimpage and all, I can only stand others doing it.

It's alot better than shaving anyway. Lasts alot longer, and in the case of my eyebrows, some of the hairs have even stopped growing because they've been pulled out so often.

2006-10-11 [darthsenshin]: night all

2006-10-11 [Kelaria]: That's awful [BarleySinger]!!! No minister should make a child feel that way!! What was he doing to make you feel that way!?

2006-10-11 [shotokan_gal]: If extra thin and underweight people (unintentionally, as unbelievable as that may seem) are allowed to join, I'd love to. This wiki looks great ^^

2006-10-11 [Keii]: I know how you felt back then [BarleySinger] - even at 19 I feel that way, and manage to be convinced by it more and more each day.

Unfortunatly the comments that kids have when your growing up sometimes have a very deep, scarring and lasting effect :(

2006-10-11 [Delladreing]: Everyone can join! Its not about excluding people, its just inviting people in who want to be happy with heir body image and are not all "pro ana" and shit like that -.-


Eh self waxing took me a year to master, and sometimes I still wimp out and have to seek out my mother who doesnt really mind inflicting pain on me and asking her to rip it off for me ^^

2006-10-11 [shotokan_gal]: Great, thanks. Just finished reading your intro, and I'd actually love to have more curves and not be built like a stick! But ruled out plastic surgery in that department, so will live with it. Got called anoerexic at school, when I most definitely wasn't.

2006-10-11 [Delladreing]: Some people are just built thin, I used to want to be like that, now I'm happy with my big bum ^^ I hope you decide to join :)

2006-10-11 [BarleySinger]: My parents are fundamentalists (emotionally distant ones), and in my experience many fundamentalists are filled with a sense of self loathing. Their minister was an ex alcoholic with a lot of serious unresolved emotional issues from his own life. He was filled with lots of self loathing and this came out in his preaching. Now, as a child I was exposed to a large amount of his ranting and frothing, and it was filled with statements about how "we are all so unlovable", etc.
 
We were taught from infancy that the things that the minister said were Gods word and that we should liten to them and learn from them - that we should take them to heart. I did that. I believed that I was totally unlovable in every way, becasue he said it...and I had been taught to believe what I was told. I head these things every week at Sunday morning church, Sunday school, the main Sunday service, the Sunday evening service and again at the Wednesday night service.

I understand now that he was a seriouslly messed up person. The 'black and white thinking' necessary to be a serious fundy, as well as his alocoholism, his self destructive behaviour in his young adulthood and other personality traits indicate that this preacher had stong tendencies toward borderline personality disorder. It is very likely that he was 'projecting' his own problems and feelings onto other people (a common borderline thing) and that he used his audiance (the congregation) as the target of his projecting.

So over time I ended up believing (as a person who was not at all unlovable, or ugly or any of that rubbish) that I was totally worthless, horifically ugly, and utterly unlovable.

I hope that my own experiences and what I have learned since then will help somebody with body issue problems to understand that they are not alone, and that there are reasons that they feel they way they do. Just think back to the voices that told you to think that way...think about who those people were, and deciede to stop listening to what they are saying. Choose not to believe them anymore.

2006-10-11 [Delladreing]: Never a wiser word spoken.

2006-10-11 [shotokan_gal]: Being called ugly definitely has its effects eventually. That whole 'sticks and stones' rhyme doesn't always ring true.

2006-10-11 [Delladreing]: No it really doesn't :(

2006-10-11 [shotokan_gal]: Wish it didn't take me until I was at least 20 to get over that. Oh well, better late than never.

2006-10-11 [Delladreing]: Quite right.

2006-10-11 [Kelaria]: I am really sorry to hear that [BarleySinger]!! I didnt go to church growing up, but I go every weekend now and I love it. My pastors are great and they always try to make everyone feel welcome and cared for! That man should not have been allowed to be a minister... really... *sighs*

2006-10-11 [Skydancer]: Hmm. Rachel was very thin, but she ate like a horse and just had a spectacularly high metabolism. You could not put weight on her.. no way, no how.

2006-10-11 [Delladreing]: I have friends like that, its just their body types, lucky them I think at times ^^

2006-10-11 [shotokan_gal]: Hehe, my metabolism must've been through the roof in my teens, since ate like any typical teenager I think. Probably slowed down a bit, so cutting down the biscuits to compensate. I'll never have boobs, so at least want the rest of my body to match for now >_>

2006-10-11 [Azuri]: My finance is like that >> Lucky bastid. Hes acually trying to put on weight though because hes at least 30 pounds underweight due to his and I quote "Morbidly High" Metabolism

2006-10-11 [Draugluin]: Heh, i'm the same. All my recent attempts have left me with a slight belly and only slight. Now I look more like E.T (not elftown the as in the film ^^)

2006-10-11 [Estantia]: my brother's like that, eats like a butterfly and still maintains a healthy weight.

I'm just nice and podgily huggable :)

2006-10-11 [Wulf Skjaldr]: Sounds neat, fad diets and their ilk really make me angry.

2006-10-11 [Delladreing]: Oh god haha theres a girl at my uni that look exactly like ET o.o; little belly long neck funny shaped head. Its a shame but everytome my friends go "CC phone home" I cant help laughing.

2006-10-11 [Delladreing]: woohooo lotsa people! join join JOIN T.T :P

2006-10-11 [Draugluin]: My mother used to call me ET as a pet name when I was young. XP

2006-10-11 [Azuri]: Haha I always got called me mouse even though i did nothing but talk but i grew up and it fit me XD same with my sisters nickname of Bug. She never shuts up now XD

2006-10-11 [Estantia]: Erm, no interesting nicknames for me, just my name being split into different bits.. or whizzhead...

2006-10-11 [Delladreing]: Fi, Fifi (repeat it and I will wrip your arms off) Fio, Fie-ona, Feefs, Mona (my brother couldn't say my name for years) pumpkin, blondie, baby, short arse, you in the corner. Take your pick really.

2006-10-11 [Estantia]: I'm not even going to start on mine... there's no point...

2006-10-11 [Delladreing]: "Red" always suited me. My obsession for the colour started young, I used to run about dressed from top to toe in it and my parents would just shout "red! RED!" when I ran away from them in shopping centers. It was fairly obvious who they were shouting at :p

2006-10-11 [Estantia]: and now i'm just estantia, the ONLY estantia

2006-10-11 [zoloftzantac]: Greetings all

2006-10-11 [Estantia]: hello, how's life?

2006-10-11 [Keii]: Always prefered Fifi for you ;D

2006-10-11 [Asrun]: I love you Dela. :D

2006-10-11 [Azuri]: lol dont worry dela *hugs* I got FeFe as well because my name is acually Felicia >_> Im sure you can imagen the horrible nicknames that came from that alone XD

2006-10-12 [Angelic nightmares]: I joined, and heres my reasoning

I look around, and at times, tend to wish I looked like the other girls. The ones with the tiny tummys, who can wear the tight shirts, and belly button rings. When I got close to finally accepting how I looked, the guy I was dating at the time, told me, "Once I get my body in shape, we're going to the gym to get yours in shape" that, crushed me. And it was only weeks before that, I finally bought and wore a bikini. I had a shirt over it of course...but thats besides the point. Since then, its been harder than ever to accept myself the way I am...

2006-10-12 [Avoral]: Damn skippy.

2006-10-12 [Azuri]: :/ Kick him! Hard >_< You dont say shit like that to a person who has problems with their image. I know my finance (thankfully ) never did. He sat down with me and talk to me about how being as big as I am is unhealthy for me. All I could do was cry that I know and had been trying to loose weight forever. He spent a good bit of his own money to get the gym membership we have today and not just because he wants to be fitter but because he is worried about my weight. He said it doesnt matter if I cant be stick thin, he hates that look anyway. Thats ok my goal was and always has been to be back at 180/170 and stay there. No more no less and I would be so happy.

2006-10-12 [Angelic nightmares]: I've never been real happy with the way my body looks. And when he said that, it made me feel worse. I had just recently bought a bikini, and actually felt good wearing it. And since he's said that, the bikini has been sitting in my sock drawer...not doing anything. its...Its hard to look in the mirror, at times, and actually accpet the person looking back

2006-10-12 [Azuri]: That sucks but you cant let what everyone else says get to you. You have to try to see past that and not care. If your worried that you really are out of shape that badly, take him up on his offer. Im sure he ment well but didnt know how to say it so take him up on his offer and let him take you to the gym.

2006-10-12 [Delladreing]: Welcome to the wiki Angelic.

2006-10-12 [The Blood Angel]: Well since everyone is sharing :p

I've never had a serious problem with my figure. I've had times where I thought I was a little skinny and sometimes I feel that I've gained a pot belly but its never bothered me for too long. I'm generally a very secure person though but I would never have been this secure if it wasn't for my Faith in God.

2006-10-12 [Zab]: I'm in confliction with myself..at one hnd, my ribs are showing almost too much..on the other hand my belly is fat..>_>
But well, I excercice by biking 30km a day and eating healthy (mostly..>_>) so what more can I do? :P

2006-10-12 [DEMONCOW]: go swimming some days and riding the other days, with your lower body getting exercise wth the bike riding, your upper body needs to be exercised to, swimming is always good, it helps with alot... eh I like swimming, just ignore me, most do >.<

2006-10-12 [Zab]: I ride once a week:P or twice when I feel like it.^^
I don't really have the option to swim, there isn't any pool near enough and it's too cold to swim in the creek:P
I do push ups once in a while and crazy stuff like rope climbing..XD

2006-10-12 [darthsenshin]: fun

2006-10-12 [Asrun]: I wish I could swim.. No place here to swim. Swimming is great excercise because you use a lot of muscles at the same time that you normally wouldn't use. You have to or you'll drown. :P I want a gym membership, but I can't afford $300+... :/

2006-10-12 [DEMONCOW]: hmmm or you can just learn how to hold your breath or even better FLOAT

2006-10-12 [Fireblade K'Chona]: Hahaha! I have joined! -hauntage- And don't worry, Dela, I'll be plugging this. I've already plugged at a few people.

2006-10-12 [DEMONCOW]: 'plugged'? o.O

2006-10-12 [Delladreing]: Advertising :) Thank yoooou *hugs*

And [DEMONCOW] I'll only say this once, I don't care if you are kidding, no smart ass remarks about people's "confessions" or you'll be seaking out a preist looking for your final confession as I rip your lungs out then tie them round your neck as a bow tie :P

2006-10-13 [Azuri]: I have a gym membership and its awesome even though they havent got a pool. I already feel better about myself just by going.

2006-10-13 [Fireblade K'Chona]: Right, since we're all chucking our body images onto center stage (:P) it's my turn for a go!

Firstly, I'm a dancer. Have been for years. (tap. YAY!) I have close, personal relationships with spandex and lycra in all forms...and as you know, those don't leave much to the imagination when you're onstage. This has very little to do with the rest of what I'm going to say. :P

Soo...Dela, you mentioned that you were the short kid who got called 'fat'. I'm on the other end of the scale; I was the Beanpole. I got glasses waaay before anyone else because I'm just about blind without them, and on lord, I was skinny. Not slim. Skinny, damn it! Knobby knees, gangly frame, big feet, the works. :P But I got my own share of teasing and outright bullying from the middle-sized, graceful-looking girls who ran my lower school in all but name. Let's not talk about my lower school experience, please.

These days I've grown into myself; I've filled out and have a figure now (thank god) and since I go to an all-girl's school, we have body-image talks ALL THE TIME and any insecurities get kind of....beaten out. At least, that was how it was for me. Our health teacher basically told the media to go screw itself and gave us all the facts about body proportions we could ever want. I personally weigh in at the high end of what the ratio is to my height, but she told me that this was because I dance a lot; I'm as much an athlete as the basketball stars at my school (and even if I don't get trophies I get sparkly costumes, so nyah1) and muscle weighs more than fat, so I'm actually fine.

She was just generally awesome.

I had another point, but I forgot it. I'll post it if I remember.

2006-10-13 [DEMONCOW]: hmmm I may as well add...

I'm a fat barstard that has no job, has never succeeded at anything, evan his dream of making a comic, still lives at home with his father, has 5 fake teeth ( damn dentures >.< ) and only 22

2006-10-13 [DEMONCOW]: oh and [Delladreing] how the FUCK was I making a smart ass remark about people's "confessions', how? - I was saying what they could do, anyone can float, even those who can not swim

and if you like, I will prove it by throwing you into the water with rocks chained to you

2006-10-13 [Linderel]: I believe Dela might have meant this:
2006-10-12 DEMONCOW: EGAD ITS MUTATED >.<

2006-10-13 [DEMONCOW]: lol maybe Dela should have asked why I put it up and not NOT threaten me

2006-10-13 [The Blood Angel]: Wo there slow down with the agrovation there! All it will breed is hate and increase self loathing. If people can't respect others how the hell are they supose to respect themselves?

In other News I've finally weighed myself after 5 years of not... 10'9 St or 152.6 Ib in other words. :p

2006-10-13 [DEMONCOW]: it happens to be one of my random sayings, the others are, 'there is a fine line between pain & pleasire', go pee on an electric fence' and 'far-q you'

2006-10-13 [DEMONCOW]: [The Blood Angel] wtf are you on about? o.O

2006-10-13 [The Blood Angel]: '11:17:30 DEMONCOW: oh and [Delladreing] how the FUCK...'

For example. No need to swear and it gives the impresion of a hell of alot of agro. You wern't the only one though :p

2006-10-13 [DEMONCOW]: [The Blood Angel] I'm always like that, if you don't like it, well tough titty, do what everyone else dose and IGNORE IT

2006-10-13 [The Blood Angel]: Ah but I'm one for not ignoring bad manners and rudness. Generally if you can't socialise in a respectable manner don't socialise at all.

2006-10-13 [DEMONCOW]: if you can't respect how others act, than you are no better than you say I am

2006-10-13 [iippo]: Dela's wiki, Dela's rules.

2006-10-13 [The Blood Angel]: Very true [iippo]...

This wiki is a touchy subject and I dought people with real insecurity problems want to come here and see people fing and blinding at each other.

I'm respecting people's feelings in the wiki, your own actions take second place to that [DEMONCOW].

Don't be so self absorbed.

2006-10-13 [DEMONCOW]: mmm

2006-10-13 [Delladreing]: Did ye miss the :p at the end of it? Were I being serious there would be no emot. But iippo hit the nail on the head, my wiki, my rules. I don't care if you think you are being funny with such remarks, by stating stupid things like "egads its mutated" you may well serve to offend someone. That is why I don't want "smart ass" comments like that on this wiki.

2006-10-13 [DEMONCOW]: hmmm, well its been deleted, as a further thing I won't come back to your wiki, mainly cause I find you no better than that slut RaineDrop on elfpack

2006-10-13 [The Blood Angel]: Holy mother of GOD! you are such a self absorbed, arogant, pathetic Bastard! Maybe if you wern't an inconsiderate bastard people wouldn't shun you. And why call someone a Slut? Thats really quite stupid!

Now thats being Hypocritical and I appologies to people who found my comment here harsh.

2006-10-13 [Delladreing]: I'm not really. On the whole I'm a much better person and a great deal smarter where she is only more insulting and obnoxious. I haven't lashed out at you in any other way other than a joking reprimand for being insulting yourself. RD is not a slut and neither am I. Definition of a slut is one who sleeps about or acts in a wanton manner, I do or posses neither habbit. You on the other hand are as insulting as you come across. I don't much care if you don't come back to the wiki.

2006-10-13 [DEMONCOW]: because she acts like one and I'm not pathetic thankyou, if you knew anything about me, you would know I am happy, if I was pathetic, I wouldn't be happy

2006-10-13 [Delladreing]: I do not act like a slut. Read again my above comment. If I was one I wouldn't have writen this wiki. Purely because the self hatred would have been enough to kill me. You are now just being petty with your insults and insinuations.

2006-10-13 [DEMONCOW]: hmmm okay [Delladreing], anychance I can take back what I said and would you forgive me? - I tend to snap at alot of people, basicly just ignore 75% of what I say >.<

2006-10-13 [Delladreing]: I'll forgive you if you promise to at least try to make that 75% a bit smaller :P

I have to deal with this kind of behavoir all the time on other wikis, I don't want it here on all my wikis that are actually meant to help people >.<

2006-10-13 [The Blood Angel]: I must appologies for my lack of tolerance, especially in this case considering it was not my place to speak out.

2006-10-13 [DEMONCOW]: hmmm okay, but one thing, if you try and change me I will start again, I can nag realy badly *grins from ear to ear*

2006-10-13 [Delladreing]: I'm a born mother dear, my nagging ability makes Gods cower :P
But its a deal, I wont try to change you if you at least try and watch your tongue.

2006-10-13 [The Blood Angel]: *Smiles* I can tell... *Hides under a rock* :D

2006-10-13 [DEMONCOW]: heh funny thing is I can watch my tounge, I can stretch almost 2 inchs out of my mouth... but thats another story

2006-10-13 [Delladreing]: o.O; that is so cool. My friend used to do that all the time, touch her tongue with her nose and everything.

2006-10-13 [DEMONCOW]: heh, well talant is when you can get that last little bit of noodle sauce from the bottom of a cup of noodles and not get a mess on your chin ^-^ lol

2006-10-13 [Delladreing]: Nice.

2006-10-13 [DEMONCOW]: mmm anyways I spose I shall take my leave now, tata

2006-10-13 [Delladreing]: *waves*

2006-10-13 [The Blood Angel]: How odd. I can just touch the tip of my nose but its an effort. :p

2006-10-13 [BarleySinger]: I wrote some stuff earlier about my own experiences with bad body image problems. I wrote what I did to try and express some things that I have learned.

* kids often attack other kids (to get a rise out of them, or because of their own insecuritites) and very often they attack a child based one one of two things. 

1) an obvious difference (weight, height, large nose, etc)
2) the things that the target child is higher than average in (beauty, singing voice, strength, etc)

Some kids act like this because they feel bad about themselves.

Others act like this because it is a learned behaviour (perhaps everyone in their family engages in insult banter - which does hurt people). I have known families with a "pecking order" amoung the kids, and insults were a part of that. 

Others act like this because they just like to play around with "what will happen when I push this button". They like to see that they can make people react (which is realistically a "control issue").

My biggest goal here was to show that the way that people treat children can have a long term affect on their self image, and their mental health. Kids are too young to have the understanding (or the physical brain wiring) yet, to know how unethical what they are doing really is. They cannot comprehend it. That is where adults are supposed to step in and do something. Unfortunately they usually don't.

My other point was to show that both males and females have body image problems with all of the insecurities and other bagage that comes with them. 

Women are not the only gender subjected to cruel peers, clueless adults, or the constant cascade of images of the "mutant model people". We do not have a dozen or more helpers, dedicated to making us look perfect.

I was also trying to point out that that people in positions of power who can influence the minds of others (like councilors, ministers, teachers) often are totally bound up in their own little worlds. The callous or careless words of a person like that can do a lot of damage. Far too often the person in a position like that, has no idea how much damage they do with their words, to those who are in their charge.

2006-10-13 [The Blood Angel]: That makes alot of sense and its something I've seen throughout my highschool years. Thank god they've past. :D

2006-10-13 [Estantia]: I threw myself into work and creating stories and the performing arts, now look at me. I am considering Cambridge Uni, I can write well, draw reasonably well, dance, sing, act... and I have friends who value me, and I'm happy becaus I was strong enough to tell them to f*** off, multiple times.

And looking back at the bullying.. I'm glad it happened, I'm actually grateful to have been bullied, because it made me the person I'm proud of today with so many skills. If it hadn't happened I dread to think what I would be like.

I also met someone who was basically me, only they said that the group WILL accept them rather than me saying i didn't need them. The difference was... striking, (ie. she was a complete *censored*) and made me realise how much it had changed me for good.

2006-10-13 [Ihsahn]: Interesting convo we have sparked up here.

2006-10-13 [The Blood Angel]: Thats what this is all about :P

2006-10-13 [Estantia]: of course, and I'm still tubby, but tall and tubby so I can carry it off...

2006-10-13 [sequeena_rae]: Eh, I have more than my fair share of baby fat. And guess what? I lubble it <3 I bounce off things XD

2006-10-13 [The Blood Angel]: Woot for bouncing! and its so cossy to snuggle into :p

2006-10-13 [Estantia]: yeah, but there's only one person who huggles me *violins*

2006-10-13 [sequeena_rae]: I don't get huggled often. If you don't count online huggles. I'm not a huge fan of personal contact.

2006-10-13 [The Blood Angel]: I love personally contact... Kinky and otherwise! hehehe ;) Sorry I'm in a stupid mood yet again :p

2006-10-13 [sequeena_rae]: As always XP

2006-10-13 [Estantia]: I wasn't... but then for some reason I got tactile virtually overnight... I think falling asleep on someone whilst watching a film has that sort of effect.

2006-10-13 [sequeena_rae]: o.O Awesome :D

2006-10-13 [The Blood Angel]: Woo hoo!

2006-10-13 [Estantia]: I wasn't exactly expecting it... I don't like contact much, but I was curling up and falling asleep on his bed when he was on the computer and talking, and vice versa... so there was a battle for the bed which ended up with him as a pillow XD

2006-10-13 [Estantia]: that was not in any way perverted, honest!

2006-10-13 [sequeena_rae]: Liar xP

2006-10-13 [Estantia]: no, it really wasn't!

2006-10-14 [Angelic nightmares]: I posted the link to the wiki in my diary, so that should bring about some new members

2006-10-14 [Bookwyrm]: Brought me here. :D

2006-10-14 [peacefrog]: I know you.

2006-10-14 [Azuri]: Hehe, my finance lubs my fat he makes it a point to tell me so everyday XD Says its warm and soft and makes good pillow lol

2006-10-14 [Angelic nightmares]: Hey Traci! ^_^

2006-10-14 [Angelic nightmares]: XD Oh god [Azuri] I love your welcome banner! Its wicked!

My mate {[-dot-]} has this thing with poking my stomach. And when I tell him to quit poking my fat, he says "your not fat" I can understand, he might see me differently then what I do, but just once, I want him to see me, the way I do.

2006-10-14 [peacefrog]: Your finance?

2006-10-14 [Azuri]: XD hehe go lub on [prowlie] she is an amazing artist and let me use it as my welcome banner aswell^_^

Mesh my fiance,(hah i relized i spelt it wrong XD) known him for years and years before we started going out and after going out for awhile we knew it was ment to be and decided to do the whole get married spend entire life togeather thing^_^

2006-10-14 [peacefrog]: Lol, never mind, dear.

2006-10-14 [Bookwyrm]: Yes, yes...everyone knows me...XD Not really, just the few people I cling to like a hungry parasite. <3 I luff you all anyway.

2006-10-14 [Bookwyrm]: Oh and [peacefrog], I still watch your Beatles page...I've just been lurking. Haven't posted in a long time...

2006-10-14 [Angelic nightmares]: I dont think of you as a parasite. Yous my best mate, and soul-sister, and yous my sexy panda!

2006-10-14 [Bookwyrm]: ::grins:: Exactly. That's part of my charm...See, people don't think of babies (during pregnancy) as parasites, but in all reality they are technically parasites...XD I use a similar technique...being adorable, sweet, and innocent...but feeding off the love and affection of all of my hosts-I mean friends. :D

2006-10-14 [Estantia]: Ah now you see I'm an enterprising little parasite in that respect, I also use music and nature and the place i'm in to feed off too :P

2006-10-14 [The Blood Angel]: *Grins* I'm glad we all have a beautiful view on pregnancy :p

2006-10-14 [sequeena_rae]: This is too odd, we were just discussing that in Psychology the other day o.o; If I remember it correctly, we were referring to them as leeches XD

2006-10-14 [Angelic nightmares]: my views on pregnacy? I was once a wiggle in my daddys {umm yeah...} and a wiggle in my momma tummy...but anyways...

2006-10-14 [Azuri]: Hehe so silly

2006-10-14 [Angelic nightmares]: I dont remember the exact words. I was rambling that night, tryin to gross out my mate

2006-10-14 [The Blood Angel]: I'm a geneticly engineered Cabbage aparently, well thats what my parents told me :p

2006-10-14 [sequeena_rae]: ...This makes sense xP

2006-10-14 [Angelic nightmares]: for the longest time, I believed babies were in cabbage patches, and parents went and picked out the one they wanted. For the longest time, that thought...that dream haunted me, I'd dream about babies growing from the ground...image my surprise when in Elementary school we had sex-ed

2006-10-14 [The Blood Angel]: Same here though I relised quite a few years before sex-ed what sex was. When sex-ed came I threw up in a sink and got in trouble for it... Luckily I wasn't the worse, someone fainted... BWAHAHAHA! The guy was such a dick and a hotshot but he wasn't hot there, he was as white as a sheet and what made it worse was that he had strong ginger hair and eyelashes I just couldn't stop laughing... Their isn't anything wrong with ginger people mind you but it was the funniest thing I had seen up at that point

2006-10-14 [Zab]: Uhm.. you threw up of sexual education? How do they teach that where you are? O_o

2006-10-14 [The Blood Angel]: Well it wasn't the sex part that got me chucking a bucket, it was the diseases part which got me going. I'm extremely squeemish. Hell I spewed in Biology when they started talking about dwarfism.

I really wish I could tell you but sadly I didn't go back to it. It was a one off thing. They done it in highschool a couple of times but it was a case of a lousy video speaking about safe sex and shit (not phsyical shit)

2006-10-14 [sequeena_rae]: Videos and the sort :P
Now people having sex, but of puberty and the hormones, and how the body grows etc.

2006-10-14 [sequeena_rae]: You're such a wuss Jack XP

2006-10-14 [Zab]: I've never had it..XD My teacher was sick each time..Oo
Tho, of course they've talked about using condoms and the like. *shrugs

2006-10-14 [sequeena_rae]: Lmao, we had to put condoms onto models. It was hysterical xD

2006-10-14 [The Blood Angel]: Oh now that was funny... Thank god I got it on first time! A fucking natural me :p

2006-10-14 [sequeena_rae]: Do I detect a hint of an inflated ego? XP

2006-10-14 [The Blood Angel]: Inflated something ;P... sorry Squee you set that one up. it was too juicy to resist.

2006-10-14 [sequeena_rae]: Oho sexual innuendos, I like xP

2006-10-14 [The Blood Angel]: Oh its definatly sexual in-somebody :p

2006-10-14 [sequeena_rae]: Shurrup! Your jokes are just cringe worthy xD

2006-10-14 [The Blood Angel]: I know... the first one was just great but that one lacked some luster.

2006-10-14 [sequeena_rae]: You're losing it in your old age :P

2006-10-14 [The Blood Angel]: Oh well I'll just have to get some viagra to get it back ;)

Oh for the love of god... I'm a monster!!!

2006-10-14 [sequeena_rae]: For the love of god, please, put it away! xD

2006-10-14 [The Blood Angel]: Ok I'll whip it out later just for you.... Boo ya!

2006-10-14 [sequeena_rae]: *waits for the 'I'll be here all week!'* xD

2006-10-14 [The Blood Angel]: Fuck that I've got better things to be doing than to entertain you clowns :p

2006-10-14 [sequeena_rae]: Talk about calling the kettle black XP

2006-10-14 [The Blood Angel]: Definatly :p I have to appolgies. Robin Williams has poisoned my mind with the word fuck. Its so funny in the Scottish accent though :p

2006-10-14 [sequeena_rae]: Ah he's grand he is <3 [starry_bellend] has gone to watch Jim Davidson live :( *jealous*

2006-10-14 [The Blood Angel]: Fuck no! that sounds great! Lucky duckling :p Hey is that the guy who done Big Break?

2006-10-14 [sequeena_rae]: o.O; That'll be one to tell her :P But yeah ._.

2006-10-14 [The Blood Angel]: Thought so... He's a funny fuck!

2006-10-14 [Fireblade K'Chona]: I saw Terry Pratchett last night, and he was describing something in his next book where (I think) an Igor has to explain sex, and finally he just tells his master to go look it up because he can't lisp his way through the whole explanation. Turns out that's Pterry. He couldn't face typing it. :P

And as an aside, my health teacher was quite good, though they preached and preached abstinence at us. That's Catholic schools for ya.

2006-10-14 [Delladreing]: ...I am so jealous right now :P

2006-10-14 [The Blood Angel]: LoL Chatholic schools are so funny. Thank god our Guidance Teacher (does all that shit with us) wasn't chatholic so she just went... Heres something about sex but I guess you have all probably had it and know all this stuff by now. :p

2006-10-14 [Delladreing]: We got shown pictures. "This is a penis" "This is a penis with syphilis, use condoms, or better yet, don't have sex" O_O

2006-10-14 [Zab]: XD Niiice!

2006-10-14 [Delladreing]: I'm pretty sure it wasn't legal. But she was a nurse who didn't care and wanted to scare everyone in to safe sex o.O

2006-10-14 [The Blood Angel]: I'm sure its legal to show a deformed penis. Probably not legal to show a deformed, erect penis :p but then again it was for educational purposes :p

2006-10-14 [Delladreing]: Eh yea that must be, it wasnt erect o.O

2006-10-14 [The Blood Angel]: Now that would definatly freak me out. 'And here is what your body will look like if you become a man whore' :p

2006-10-14 [Delladreing]: XD

2006-10-14 [Fireblade K'Chona]: That would scare the everloving shit out of me. However, right now I am happy in the knowledge that I have no STDs whatsoever because last winter I was in the hospital, and they had no idea what I had, so they tested me for everything on their list, which included STDs and I think stuff like West Nile and other things.

Aaaaand it still turned out not to be ANY of those things. >.<