Bob's Diner

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Page name: Bob's Diner [Logged in view] [RSS]

2022-01-26 00:23:33

Last author: Mortified Penguin
Owner: Sagacious Turkey

# of watchers: 287

D20: 11

Wiki-page rating	Stumble!
Informative:	0
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Friendly:	17

(Formerly Chuck's)

^{Abandon all outside food and drinks, ye who enter here.

a limerick, by [Mortified Penguin]

.........Welcome to Bob's Diner,

ain't no place finer!

The food is good,

we're always in tha 'hood,

and [Sagacious Turkey] is a whiner!

As seen in [iippo]'s diary!

This wiki sponsored in part by the [Sunrose] Does Not Suck committee

and the [pixish] art committee

_{by [Teufelsweib]}}

Menu:

Show content

|Da menyou|

<img150*0:stuff/aj/11111/bobsdinerspecial.png>

'If you are what you eat, then we're easy, fast and cheap!'

Don't see sumthin ya like on da menu? Well, add to it!

<img:stuff/b.GIF.gif>

^{_{Breakfast

1. Shakin' Bacon $1.50

2. Godzilla Eggs $1.20

3. Hash Browns $1.00

4. Hash Greens $1.00

5. Texas toast (this isn't really from texas) $2.00

6. French Toast (This isn't actually from France either) $3.50

7. French Fries (nope, still not from france...) $1.50

8. French Bread (NOT FROM FRANCE!!!) $1.25

9. French Wine (not from France exactly... it might have fallen off a truck,... but i don't know anything *whistles innocently*)

10. Mortified News-Paper-Colored-Breakfast-Sandwich $2.50

Lunch

1. Bob's special of the day: Sun. grilled cheese, Mon. leg of lamb, Tues. leg of bob, Wed. something we found on the street, Thurs. hamburger, Fri. tacos we stole from Taco Bell, Sat. you don't want to know. $4.19

2. hamburger & fries $4.00

3. uncooked ham (a live pig) $10.24

4. a bowl of fresh lard $3.49

5. Texas toast (this isn't really from Texas) $2.00

6. think of the nastiest thing you've ever seen or smelled... nope, nastier... yup thats it! $5.99

7. raw chicken liver with a dog drool sauce. $7.82

8. La Ham and cheese $2.30

9. Bob's Mama $1 an hour

10. Garfield's mama $0.50 an hour

11. sirloin $6.00

12. Sir. Loin (some British guy) £6.00

13. boiled Chef Zef $0.99

14. 3-legged lamb - whole: $10.00/ each leg: $2.00

15. fried Alley Gator $5.00

16. Plain poodle: $3.00/ Extra crispy poodle: $3.50

17. Poo Stew $2.25

18. Mashed taters and dressed up alligators $5.50

19. Woops, I sneezed... Oh well, might as well put it to good use... "snot sandwich" $1.25

20. Roasted n00b $4.00

21. Bloody Rock $1.50

22. Flattened road kill squirrel $4.75

23. Fresh n00b with blood croutons $4.50

24. [Shaggy13]'s soup $1.12

25. Turkey Jerkey $0.50

26. A Jerkey Turkey $5.00

27. YO MOMMA with a side of fries and a large soda $0.00

28. [Rolo]'s special: Mouse burger and french flies all for just $2.50

29. [Blvd. of broken dreams]'s Acid Kisses free to try then 4 easy payments of $19.95 to buy!!!!

30.

31. Micheal Jackson's nose $10.75

32. elf on the cob $5.50/whole elf $9.25

33. [spitfire_35121]'s mole 500,000.00

34. An Orange Chicken ¥300.00

35. Ground beef Carl $3.25

36. The Deep Fried Moose Combo $6.99

37. [sara(:]'s kitty.......$o.ooo9 per hour..

38. viagra pill $300

39. gobbler....?

40. a big fat bowl of ramen ¥800.00

41. hootchie cootchie $2.00

42. Burgers from McDonald's $1.00

43. Make Your Own Road Kill (Brought to you by MatchBox) $ 6.90

44. Deep Fried Squirrel Quesadilla $ 1.50

45. Eel Burger (it's shockingly delicious!) $3.4¾ (WARNING: Eel Burger may kill consumer. We are not responsible. Blame the eels!)

46. Selfish Shellfish Soufflé $4.99 (plus tip!)

47.All the grief, horror, madness,[Lethan] and opium-addled reverie you can shake a Victorian gentleman's walking stick at for a mere $5

48. [Eloura]'s Busted gut still fresh and good, for a nere (and this is a SALE people) $9.99

49. [Duke Devlin]'s Small Bacon Bit Babies. They are a delious bacony treat for any meal. $15,999.99 It's a real steal deal kids!

50. [Araglas]'s Zombie body food, just ask, it's good, and very fresh! Only $5.99!

51. All you can eat: [HardRockAngel]'s little brother: an endless supplie of meat. $12.99

Appetizers

1. half a cracker $1,000,000

2. Bloody Rock $1.50

3. [sara(:]'s (very little) Brain $2.00

4. [Fallen Child Athena]'s Foamy the Squirrel $5000.00 ((i stole him hahahahahaha))

5. [Mortified Penguin]'s intelligence (not a very big meal...) $0.25

6. Slice of maggot cheese $1.50

7. Cooked Sushi $4.50

8. Tumble Weed $1,000.01

9. [Fallen Child Athena]'s "happy crack".......$1.50((its weed))

10. Bowl of tears $.50

11. Crickets (a bowl full) $0.50

12. "Eye Rolls" $1.50

13. Corn on the toes $1.50

14. cooked sushi $2.00

15. Big, huge, throbbing, hot, juicy... breadsticks! $DAH.LER

16. [Mortified Penguin]'s ashes $Free to try $39.95 to buy

17. [Blvd. of broken dreams]'s leg (stays fresh for about a month) hehe jr., i told you!!!1

17. Military Intelligence (not much there) $9,999 {brought in by [Fallen Child Athena])

19. Fresh squeezed hangover from [Evolution X]

20. Ganondorf's Noodly Appendage (note: not big enough to be considered full meal) $4.00

21. Peanuts of Pathos $free with the purchase of a drink (In loving memory of our dear old friend, [Paul Doyle].)

22. Flagon of Dragon Lotion. Not sure what to make of this, frankly. It's not really a drink . . . have this with Peanuts of Pathos, perhaps? Do you have what it takes to consume this? I'm not sure I do.

23. [Mortified Penguin]'s head on a fake cheap silver platter.

24. Blubber nuggets, made with the finest whale blubber in the world! (YUM!) $100.00

Dinner

1. [Mortified Penguin]'s squeegey $0.10

2. DUSTIN'S MAMA and a condom......we'll pay you...take it,we don't want "it".....

3. Sasmooko's Shoe $1.75

4. A leg $Shoot something, or someone

5. [Fallen Child Athena]'s bunny rabbit..........$1.50

6. The "lame-@$$-mo'-frickin'-gay-infested-puppy-hating-country-o'-france" Special. (May include: French toast, french fries, french bread, french vanilla, french dressing, a lovely french dipping sauce, and a sexy lonely french woman that likes to french kiss) $19.95 if you order in the next ten minutes! ...plus shipping and handling...

7. [Evolution X]'s famous Spaghetti and eyeballs.

8. A Big Freakin' Bowl of Ramen $0 (Free for Mort, everyone else gets charged a mandatory $10 tip for the waiter)

9.Ugly stack of papers with protective cover. Looks to have been dropped into a beef broth by a sad, worn out, uncreative idiot. Yarg. (munches on a news-paper-colored-breakfast-sandwich) $2.00

10.Gammon with Fluff & gravy =] $0

11.Not so fresh puppy €7.00 (Other than brown colored +¥5.28)

12. [Scarekrow]'s Harden the fuck up special (with your choise of fist to the face or foot to the ass)................$25.00

13. Chuck Norris Stew with a side of sucker-punch and piss-in-your-pants. Priceless

Dessert

1. brownie-a-la-mode $2.00

2. crap-a-la-commode $2.00

3. artichoke pie $1.50

4. "cheese cake" (literally made of cheese) $1.75

5. Iced ice $0.50

6. Glazed rocks $0.75

7. Punkin Pie (full of fresh baked punks...) $2.00

8. Rake Cake (wanna do something special for your hard working rake for it's birthday? get this!) $1.75

9. n00b-a-la-blood $2.00

10. "Cow Pie" $2.00

11. [Phil Crooked]'s manhood $9,999,999,999.50

12. [Phil Crooked]'s manhood, FROSTED, $2

13. "apple sauce" $1

14. [nokaredes]'s old cast $how much you got?

15. [ikkle sid] for the night chocolate sauce included 4 all u randy twats lol ... $1,000,000,000

16. [Archeress of Mirkwood]'s liver flavored ice cream $2.50

17. [Archeress of Mirkwood]'s chocolate flavored moth-balls $1.75 per box

18. Bert and Ernie's every flavor spleens... er... I mean... beans. $1.00 per box

19.[bluefairy27]'s deadly blow fish surprise.$3.50

20. [Evolution X]'s Eskimo pie (from real eskimos)

21. Pink, fluffy and tasty Watapon (Warning: Not really tasty)

22. Vasturcro, free! (plus $20 in taxes, $35 for the food, which is $65, totaling out to $127)

23. Sweet, cherry, and pied crow pie, $2.33

Drinks

1. anything we can liquefy in the blender $1.00

2. snot $1.00

(smaller gap)

3. urine $1.00

4. "mystery meat juice" $1.00

5. liquid lard $1.00

6. [Fallen Child Athena]'s special "coffee" $1.95

7. goat milk $1.00

8. watered down tea $1.00

9. Turkey Milk $1.00

10. A Pint of Blood $0.50

11. A Quart of Blood $1.00

12. Goblet Of Blood On The Rocks $2.50

13. Rat Milk $1.00

14. Snow Coco $1.00

15. Hot, steaming cup of Coffee $1.00 (per cup)

16. Liquid ice $2.50 per pound

17. A "booty" shake $6.66

18. From the makers of Granny's Bunyan Creme and Granny's Homegrown Arsenic... we bring you... Granny's Hard Rubbing Alcohol! Not only does it get you hammered more than a nail, but it also helps heal your internal cuts! (WARNING: Granny's Hard Rubbing Alcohol will NOT heal your internal cuts. In fact, it may make them worse. We are not responsible for any injuries and/or death. Blame Granny!) $Depends on how "under the influence" you are.

19.something [Lethan] squeezed out of a brick

20. An Epic Fail (Brought in by Veari)

21. Tead down water(purified) $50.00

22. Special Equestrian "Mayonnaise" Smoothie}}

Bob's Diner Status Report:
_{Bob's Diner Status Report
^{All numbers and stats are approximate and lead to irregularities when double checking, due to faulty math and [Elftron] screwing with wiki comments and information sometimes. Don't blame us. Blame [Hedda].}

Year

04/05

05/06

06/07

07/08

08/09

09/10

10/11

11/12

12/13

13/14

14/15

15/16

16/17

17/18

18/19

19/20

20/21

Comments

9709

3870

3065

5676

4309

2879

5259

1697

0984

0756

0394

0177

0384

1677

0471

0285

0118

Average

26.6 cpd

10.6 cpd

08.4 cpd

15.5 cpd

11.8 cpd

07.9 cpd

14.4 cpd

04.7 cpd

02.7 cpd

02.1 cpd

01.1 cpd

00.5 cpd

01.1 cpd

04.6 cpd

01.3 cpd

00.8 cpd

00.3 cpd

Total Comments

09709

13579

16644

22320

26666

29545

34804

36501

37484

38240

38634

38839

39223

40900

41371

41656

41774

Total Average

26.6 cpd/9709 cpy

18.6 cpd/6789 cpy

15.2 cpd/5548 cpy

15.3 cpd/5580 cpy

14.6 cpd/5333 cpy

13.5 cpd/4924 cpy

13.6 cpd/4972 cpy

12.5 cpd/4563 cpy

11.4 cpd/4165 cpy

10.5 cpd/3824 cpy

09.6 cpd/3512 cpy

08.9 cpd/3237 cpy

08.3 cpd/3017 cpy

08.0 cpd/2921 cpy

07.6 cpd/2758 cpy

07.1 cpd/2604 cpy

06.7 cpd/2457 cpy

Until The End of the Friscal Year and the Next Status Report

Since The End of the Last Friscal Year

Since B's D's Founding}

Friscal Reports:

Show content

   Next Friscal Report:

_{Total: An unknown, futuristic XXXXX

Future paragraphs.

   Friscal Report:

Total: A(n) adjective 39223

Paragraphs.

   Previous Friscal Report:

Total: A(n) adjective 38839

Paragraphs.

   Previous Previous Friscal Report:

Total: A(n) adjective 38634

Paragraphs.

   Previous Previous Previous Friscal Report:

Total: A(n) adjective 38240

Paragraphs.

   Previous Previous Previous Previous Friscal Report:

Total: A(n) adjective 37484

Paragraphs.

   Previous Previous Previous Previous Previous Friscal Report:

Total: A(n) adjective 36501

Paragraphs.

   Previous Previous Previous Previous Previous Previous Friscal Report:

Total: A settling, halfsome 34804

As we all know, Bob's Diner has a comment based economy. As comment averages rise, Bob's Diner prospers. When they fall, Bob's Diner slips into a violent depression and has thoughts of suicide. It often cries itself to sleep at night, wondering how it's going to feed its 27 children. So, you can clearly see why the more comments you make, the better off we are and the less I'll hate you.

With that in mind, this year was certainly better than last year, but not nearly as better as the year before the year before last year, which is the best except for the one that was better which was the year before the year before that. Following this trend, we can predict that next year, the year following this year, will be the year that comes after this year. However, as this year is already over, we've already entered into the new year, meaning that this year isn't this year but last year and next year is this year, not the year after this year. So, with this other stuff I just said in mind, I suspect that, since this year is now this year, not next year, the comments will continue steadily trending upward, unless they don't. Realistically speaking though, and following the current data, the comment average will take a two year nose dive into the worst recession we've seen yet before going back up in 14/15.

So, the comments were alright this year. But, why weren't they alrighter? It was likely because of two bannings of members that were previously highly productive commenters: Artsie and Mystin. They will be missed. Not really though. In other news, CEO, international sex superstar, and self-proclaimed CEO, [Mortified Penguin], will be stepping down as manager today and stepping up some stairs. That lead to the manager's office. Where he will be crowned manager. Also, [Nioniel] stole our 'i'.

(This has been a vaguely worded announcement by a guy typing things.)

   Previous Previous Previous Previous Previous Previous Previous Friscal Report:

Total: An unsettling, unwholesome 29545

More Obama related mishaps have taken quite a toll on Bob's Diner this year. That, coupled with [53406] as manager, has resulted in 1430 less comments than last year. Which brings the average number of comments for the friscal year to a miserable 7.9 a day and the average for all time down to 13.5 a day. We've determined the cause of the missing 37 comments from 07/08 to be homicide. Police are investigating the contents of Misty's stomach in hopes of finding remains. So far, nothing but rat skeletons and bear feces has turned up.

No new members for the entire year (that I know of. I haven't really checked, I'm just assuming). Likely Misty's fault. In this past friscal year, B's D has apparently become /b/'s D. Our big 'B' will be missed.

For this upcoming friscal year, I will be taking over as manager once more (until it becomes apparent that the numbers will be down, at which point I will hand ownership back to Turkey). I plan to run this Diner the way it was meant to be run... straight into the ground. First off, budget cuts everywhere! No more of this "getting Christmas off to be with family" nonsense. Workers will now work 367 days a year or be fired (at)(with bazookas).

(This has been a public dis-service announcement from CEO and self-proclaimed sexual offender, [Mortified Penguin].)

   Previous Previous Previous Previous Previous Previous Previous Previous Friscal Report:

Total: A nice, wholesome 26666.

So, we never did find out what happened to those poor, unfortunate 37 comments. They will be missed. This friscal year, we had a disappointing 4309 comments. The lower number is speculated to be the fault of Obama, the recession, and, of course, Misty. Though it wasn't as good as last year's or the 04/05 year, it's still better than the dismal period from 2005 to 2007. The 08/09 numbers are still a pretty decent accomplishment, considering Elftown's sharp decline in members.

In this passing friscal year, we (and by 'we' I mean 'I') have managed to get a whole bunch of new members and casual visitors... thanks to good ol' fashion spamming. Speaking of meat byproducts, the Diner is now under [53406]'s control once more, meaning that he's the one that should be held responsible for the poor friscal report! ...Get 'im! ...*eats ramen*...

(This has been a public service announcement from ex-CEO and casual rapist, [Mortified Penguin].)

   Previous Previous Previous Previous Previous Previous Previous Previous Previous Friscal Report:

Total: 22320 (though it should be 22357!)

This leaves some 37 missing comments. It is Bob's Diner's top priority to find these missing comments and bring them home safely.

Thanks to the brilliant leadership of [Mortified Penguin], Bob's Diner has had it's second best year yet! We nearly doubled those comments from last year and even brought B's D out of it's depression. So remember... support the Ramen Party and Bob's Diner in the next friscal (that's right! friscal!) year... every comment counts. (This has been a public service announcement from CEO, Mortified Penguin.)}

^{_{Previous B's D}}

^{_{By posting comments to Bob's Diner, you grant a world-wide, royalty-free, and exclusive license to [Mortified Penguin] to steal your dumb jokes, musings, ramblings, nonsequiter nonsense, and general comments and publish them in a legally questionable screenplay, which will then be fashioned into a highly problematic and excessively meta book. All posters, now and prior to this post, forfeit copyright ownership of all comments to [Mortified Penguin]. Any profits from said screenplay book will belong solely to [Mortified Penguin], who is handsome, and who also reserves the right to not give you credit for your dumb comments. The addition of this message to this wiki covers all comments forthwith and hithertofore. By continuing to post on Bob's Diner and by having previously posted on Bob's Diner, you forfeit any and all rights to litigation against [Mortified Penguin]. However, if one of your stolen comments results in legal trouble for [Mortified Penguin], all copyrights and intellectual property rights for the aforementioned problematic comments will be returned to the original poster, who will take on all legal responsibilities. Finally, to the judge who will inevitably read this, FUCK YOU, YOU LITTLE BITCH. YOU DON'T HAVE THE BALLS TO FIND ME GUILTY. YOU LITTLE PUSSY. I AM ABOVE THE LAW. I DO NOT RESPECT THE AUTHORITY OF YOUR COURT AND THE SECOND I LEAVE THIS COURTROOM, I'M HEADING STRAIGHT TO YOUR HOUSE TO SKULLFUCK YOUR WIFE INTO A COMA. YEAH, THAT'S A THREAT. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? JUDGE ME? COWARD.}}

2022-01-25 [Mortified Penguin]:

2022-01-25 [Mortified Penguin]: Looks fucked up in mobile. [Sunrose]! Tell [Stephen] to tell [Hedda] to fix that.

2022-01-25 [Mortified Penguin]: DAMN YOU, [Pied Crow], FIX IT! *angrily hurls [Yuriona] into the Spider Pit, which, coincidentally, is now the best place in the diner to get away from all the spiders. The Bright Lights And Copious Bugs Room, however, is fairly infested for some reason*

2022-01-25 [Yuriona]: Wow. This broom closet is distinctly more vertical than I remember.

2022-01-25 [Sagacious Turkey]: Yeah, and this kitchen is more well-lit and has fewer bugs than it used to.

2022-01-25 [Sagacious Turkey]: And what happened to the Room Temperature Unspecified Bird Broth Special™ I left boiling in the soup cauldron three years ago?! Some asshole clearly dumped it out and replaced it with this pile of ashes and pigeon bones!

2022-01-25 [Mortified Penguin]:

2022-01-25 [Mortified Penguin]: *goes back to eating his sixthteenth bowl of Room Temperature Unspecified Bird Broth Special™*

2022-01-26 [Sunrose]: You look fucked up in mobile too..

2022-01-26 [Mortified Penguin]: *looks up from his broth, making an eye barely dangling from a rotted socket bounce around rhythmically as if it were performing some sort of bizarre, macabre dance*

I'M BEAUTIFUL, DAMMIT!

*slams his fist into the table, causing 23 of his forehead pimples on the patch of remaining skin to explode, dripping bloody pus down his exposed facial muscles and shredded sinews*

2022-01-27 [Darth Jacein]: Too far. You've gone too far

2022-01-27 [Yuriona]: In which direction?

2022-01-28 [Sunrose]: In Keanu Reeves' direction..

2022-01-28 [Pied Crow]: What the-? I think the answer to the page looking bad on mobile is to stop viewing it on mobile.

2022-01-28 [Sunrose]: https://youtu.be/WYCx1Uoa1gA

2022-01-29 [Mortified Penguin]: But I'm always mobile, just flyin' around on these powerful, majestic penguin wings.

*unfurls his massive, 9-foot angel wings and flaps powerfully, sending a wave of dust and crumbled cicada shells into the air*

*several customers grumble annoyedly and begin picking bits of shell out of their coffees*

2022-01-30 [GhostOfMonochro me]: But why do they sleep in a cage? O_O

2022-01-30 [Tekkon KinKreet]: I don't care about Tim Tim... toss him in the pit

2022-01-30 [Pied Crow]: Pretty bird has wingspan!

2022-01-30 [Yuriona]: The cage is for their own safety. You don't want to know what roams around in here at night. O_O

2022-01-30 [Mortified Penguin]: It's just our animatronic bear, nothing to worry about. He just gets restless at night and wanders around, but he's programmed not to hurt humans. *points at what is very clearly a real, wild grizzly bear that wandered in a few weeks ago*

2022-02-02 [LunaElizabeth]: Hiiiii

2022-02-02 [Sunrose]: Hiya! How you doin'?

2022-02-02 [Mortified Penguin]: Hi there! What can we get for you today? We have all sorts of fine cookin'. We got Chili, we got Thick Chili, we got Thin Chili, we got Expired Chili, we got Burnt Chili, we got Dry Chili. We got Chili Soup, Chili Sandwiches, Fried Chili, Chili on the Cob, Chili Gumbo, Chili Soda, we got, uh... *glances back in the kitchen, where an entire cauldron of chili has exploded and spilled all over the floor* Chili. It's just chili. HOW MANY BOWLS DO YOU WANT?

2022-02-03 [Pied Crow]: Can l have two and a third bowls of Chilly Chile Chili?

2022-02-03 [Mortified Penguin]: We're out of chili.

2022-02-04 [Darth Jacein]: [Sunrose] you know too much

2022-02-04 [Darth Jacein]: I'll have the crest soup, [Mortified Penguin]

2022-02-04 [Sunrose]: And yet I know nothing..

2022-02-05 [Infested_Zling]: Pffft
Even I know less than that

2022-02-05 [Mortified Penguin]: *starts frying up a tube of Crest toothpaste*

2022-02-05 [Mortified Penguin]: Someone remind me to check the blank wiki when I get on a desktop. I suspect Sunrose commented there and I have to make a smartass reply.

2022-02-05 [Sunrose]: Ostralegus!

2022-02-05 [Sagacious Turkey]: Osteoporosis!

2022-02-05 [Mortified Penguin]: ...dammit, it was just "wazaaaa". MY TIME HAS BEEN WASTED.

2022-02-05 [Mortified Penguin]: Also, let me view that wiki normally! It was technically mine a few times. When I stole it fair and square. But the Guards cheated and took it back from me. :(

2022-02-06 [Darth Jacein]: Poor mort. You may be entitled to compensation.

2022-02-06 [Pied Crow]: Out of chilli? Okay, uh... How about l try that ramen you always eat?

2022-02-06 [Sunrose]: Normally your time is obviously super well spent here.. :P

2022-02-06 [~Lady Morgana~]: A penguin made me come here. He said otherwise some guy named Tim isn't getting any dinner.
Can't have that obviously.

2022-02-06 [Rambert]: ^(=_=)^

2022-02-06 [Rambert]: can i get a large chili soda

2022-02-07 [Mortified Penguin]: Of course! *wrings the mop out into an empty cup of ramen and heroically hands it to Rambert*

2022-02-07 [Mortified Penguin]: Also, we're out of ramen... *eats ramen*

2022-02-07 [Sunrose]: Mailin! Wow, long long time ago :P

2022-02-07 [Sunrose]: Also, [Rambert] seems to have been on Elftown since forever, but we didn't meet before?

2022-02-08 [~Lady Morgana~]: Over a decade I would say! Hi Debby! How have you been?

2022-02-08 [Sunrose]: Hiiiii!! Rollercoater corona-ride, like most everybody haha. And you?!

2022-02-08 [~Lady Morgana~]: Ah yes, I've had some of that too but otherwise really good. Well most of the time ;)

2022-02-08 [Mortified Penguin]: *starts grilling a cake for [Yuriona]'s birthday*

2022-02-08 [~Lady Morgana~]: There's gonna be cake?

2022-02-09 [Yuriona]: Oooo... do I get extra hair in mine 'cuz its my birthday?

2022-02-09 [Sunrose]: It's your birthday?! Congratulations! Same day as my oldest :D

2022-02-09 [Sunrose]: Wait, your profile says 13th :p

2022-02-09 [Yuriona]: Its normally completely overshadowed by Valentine's Day so I'll take any birthday acknowledgements I can get. :D

2022-02-10 [Mortified Penguin]: *becomes enraged that the batter just keeps falling through the grill grates and flips the grill, causing it to start a small brush fire that kills a family of seven squirrels and one really cool slug that was like 6 inches long*

2022-02-10 [Mortified Penguin]: Look what you did, [Yuriona].

2022-02-10 [Yuriona]: I'm sorry. *hangs head* I didn't mean for the naked snail to get hurt.

2022-02-10 [Sunrose]: Typically male, to blame other people because they're too incompetent to do it right themselves..
He's probably just saying this so you'll do it for him next time, strategic incompetence!

2022-02-10 [Mortified Penguin]: I am no man! *bravely rips off his tear-away cargo shorts*

*unfurls his glorious beef curtains and proudly flops them up on the counter for all to see*

*a family of five who were just walking in promptly turn around and go to McDonald's instead*

2022-02-11 [Rambert]: I feel your pain [Yuriona], my bday is the 15th. But at least I get to have Candy Christmas on mine since everything is discounted. *hands u a valentine with macaroni and glitter*

2022-02-12 [Yuriona]: Oooo! I like the sparklies! *licks off the glitter*

2022-02-13 [Rambert]: good thing i used the edible glitter, phew. can u taste the added artificial flavors?

2022-02-13 [Sheamus Finn]: LSD?

2022-02-13 [Rambert]: *shrugs* I mean, maybe. my old friend gave me this dropper and said it contained "the essence of flavor"... then his stomach exploded before i could ask any follow-up questions

2022-02-15 [Yuriona]: LSD is just MSG spelled wrong.

2022-02-16 [Mortified Penguin]: You mean Carl? *points at one of the corpses on the floor with an exploded stomach*

Poor feller died of Covid-19. Didn't even have time to finish his Wasp Nest Salad. *shakes his head sadly and puts the half eaten Wasp Nest Salad back into the food pile*

2022-02-21 [Mortified Penguin]: *takes his Tiger Saber off the weapon rack and goes on Tiger Duty in the kitchen for a while*

2022-02-21 [Mortified Penguin]: *many tigers, a leopard, and two bobcats are ritually slaughtered, as is the custom*

*gives a pretentious speech to onlookers about the ebb and flow of the universe and how it is not only necessary and natural to slay so many cats, but also incredibly noble*

*in reality, Mort is simply too lazy to patch the hole in the wall where they've been getting in for years. Also, they make great chili meat*

2022-02-23 [Pied Crow]: What the heck! Do you treat dragons the same way?!

2022-02-24 [Mortified Penguin]: Of course not. They can't get in through the hole. And we can just harpoon the ones in the parking lot. *gestures outside at a dead horse with a harpoon lodged in its neck*

2022-02-25 [Pied Crow]: Harpoon? Aren't those for throwing? Ought to be using a regular spear and be a bouncy dragoon.

2022-02-28 [Mortified Penguin]: Duly noted and disregarded. *harpoons [Paul Doyle] as he tries to get into his Nissan Rogue to leave*

2022-03-01 [Yuriona]: *films entire spectacle for review later* Wave to your fans Mort!

2022-03-01 [Paul Doyle]: *folds space without the benefit of a Guild Heighliner, sends harpoon to Giedi Prime* *is not the Kwisatz Haderach*

2022-03-01 [Paul Doyle]: *sends dragoons and lancers on a random Napoleonic cavalry charge*

2022-03-01 [Paul Doyle]: *cues "The Trooper" by Iron Maiden*

2022-03-02 [Mortified Penguin]: BENE GESSERIT WITCH! *backhands Tiny Tim to the floor, causing him to drop his entire day's allowance of porridge*

2022-03-02 [Paul Doyle]: That's it, time to gom jabbar Tiny Tim's ass.

2022-03-02 [Pied Crow]: Huh? Bob's Diner is the featured wiki?!

2022-03-03 [Sunrose]: Late to the party, you are!

2022-03-03 [Mortified Penguin]: Did you at least bring the cups?! Everyone has just been drinking with their hands. There's twice as much knuckle hair in the punch bowl now.

2022-03-05 [Pied Crow]: l may be late to the pwarty, but am l at least the life of it?

... Maybe not 'cause l didn't bring any cups, huh?

2022-03-09 [Mortified Penguin]: No. Everybody is upset about the cups. *points at [nokaredes], who is clearly upset about the cups and definitely not dead*

2022-03-09 [Sunrose]: One hell of a party...literally!

2022-03-18 [Mortified Penguin]: *dices up some sticks for a salad or something*

2022-03-22 [Nostalgia]: Comment

2022-03-22 [Mortified Penguin]: *dices up [Nostalgia] for the salad (or something)*

2022-03-25 [Rambert]: *vomits violently, everywhere*

2022-03-25 [Pied Crow]: Nuka-Tail, how could you?!

2022-03-26 Rainy Days: <img:https://openlab.bmcc.cuny.edu/luis-castro-portfolio/wp-content/uploads/sites/327/2020/02/Untitled-3-2.gif>

2022-03-26 Rainy Days: <img:https://i.pinimg.com/originals/62/cb/bf/62cbbf3021778f2f6db1320a261fb88b.gif>

2022-03-26 Rainy Days: <img:https://img1.picmix.com/output/stamp/normal/0/4/8/7/1257840_08058.gif>

2022-03-26 Rainy Days: <img:https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/c58a6b24-9998-464f-87da-1c45d1b89a4c/dbuynxy-5a815bfd-d64e-4dba-bc28-d0d819ab056d.gif?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7InBhdGgiOiJcL2ZcL2M1OGE2YjI0LTk5OTgtNDY0Zi04N2RhLTFjNDVkMWI4OWE0Y1wvZGJ1eW54eS01YTgxNWJmZC1kNjRlLTRkYmEtYmMyOC1kMGQ4MTlhYjA1NmQuZ2lmIn1dXSwiYXVkIjpbInVybjpzZXJ2aWNlOmZpbGUuZG93bmxvYWQiXX0.EBsLNN8FJquNYrkkUikb5CAuDFdCkftBOTmgjrJSzLc>

2022-03-26 [Mortified Penguin]: MY TOMATO PLANTS! THEY'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO GET WET!

*starts blow drying some poison ivy growing on the wall*

2022-03-26 [Ryo-Oni]: Refreshing.

2022-03-26 [Pied Crow]: Raining? Pouring? The prophecy is being fulfilled... Quick! What is the old man doing?!

2022-03-28 [Yuriona]: Snoring? Whoring? One of those I'm pretty sure...

2022-03-28 [Rambert]: *smiles as the rain begins to wash away some of the vomit* ahhh that's nice

2022-03-29 [Pied Crow]: My friends try to lift me, they understand how I'm feeling, but the truth holds me down. She came and went with the rain. I watched her walk into the rain. I watched her walk into the rain... Now always the storms come, raindrops run down my windows... All that's left is her picture, but someday it to will: Wash away... Wash away... I watched her walk away...in the rain.....

SICK GUITAR SOLO, YEAHHH!!!!!!! NANANAAAAA NAAAA NAAAA NAAA!!!!!!

2022-04-09 [Pied Crow]: What? No one like covers of punk songs?

2022-04-14 [Mortified Penguin]: I was unimpressed by the guitar solo.

2022-04-14 [Mortified Penguin]: www.elftown.net

2022-04-14 [Mortified Penguin]: [Sunrose]! Offer [Hedda] €4501, so I don't have to change the address on all my spam scripts.

2022-04-14 [Paul Doyle]: Maybe the powers of the Mort clones combined, could buy it all out :p

2022-04-15 [Tekkon KinKreet]: *walks in and leans a bloody axe against the door frame* Took care of those clones for you Mort.

2022-04-16 [Mortified Penguin]: But... I'm the clone. D:

2022-04-16 [Yuriona]: Whose clone? <img:stuff/quesN-gif.gif>

2022-04-17 [Sagacious Turkey]: Nobody's. Don't worry about it. *flips a switch on Mort's back, turning him off*

2022-04-17 [Mortified Penguin]: MY C7 VERTEBRAE! Dammit, I keep telling you, I'm a clone, not a robot! *hammers the vertebrae back into place*

2022-04-17 [Sagacious Turkey]: THEN EXPLAIN THIS! *tears Mort's entire arm off*

*it's just blood and bones and stuff*

Wait, then who was the robot...?

*tears [Paul Doyle]'s arm off, but only spaghetti and garlic bread falls out*

But then...? Hmm...

*tears [Tekkon KinKreet]'s arm off, but it's just wires and mechanical components*

Huh. I guess nobody was a robot.

2022-04-17 [Pied Crow]: (Perfect. My secret is safe)

2022-04-18 [Paul Doyle]: Apparently I am the everflowing cornucopia of spaghetti, garlic bread and similarly yummy/inexpensive/filling Italian food. I self-sustain, I nourish, and consequently put Bob's Diner out of business. Turkey, might want to re-attach my arm since you can't keep up with my supply. Kapiche? If not, I'll have Lefty and Joe Killer from Atlantic City, explain it to you.

*eats some of the food spewing out of my arm* Damn, I taste good. Need to get to crank out some organic tomato/basil red pasta sauce.

2022-04-18 [Yuriona]: Must be related to Pizza the Hutt then.

2022-04-18 [Tekkon KinKreet]: Don Boyardee's nephew? I heard he's a scary dude.

2022-04-20 [Paul Doyle]: Yeah, but Don Chef Boyardee got canned, then thrown in the can, so that's that. And I must share Pizza the Hutt's genes, on a limited scale: this order's to go. Mmm, organic tomato and basil.

2022-04-26 [Alendre]: *waits quietly for the oozing pile of garlicy noodle bread to gain sentience*

2022-04-28 [Sunrose]: I don't have that type of money, Mort. You do it, don't you have some political ties and rich friends? :P

2022-04-28 [Pied Crow]: Huh. I thought you were his rich friend. I must still not got the hang of things quite yet.

2022-04-29 [Paul Doyle]: *pile of oozing glistening Italian style cheap yums not only gains sentience, but sapience too*

2022-04-30 [Coffeecontrolsme]: HOLY CRAP! SENTIENT SPEGHETTI MONSTER!!!!!!

2022-04-30 [Paul Doyle]: it resembles one of Pinhead's Cenobite minions from Hellraiser, but identifies as "Riga-Toni" and speaks with a Latvian accent: and boy does it taste good

2022-05-02 [Coffeecontrolsme]: Does it have the same cenobite vibe? Pleeeeasure aaaand Paaaain, Such things have we to shooow you...The Spiciest of Meat Baaaaalls

Am I close?

2022-05-04 [Pied Crow]: Actually, hey, [Sunrose]: Is that the verb or the noun form of "rose"?

2022-05-23 [Mortified Penguin]: The adverb form.

And yes, Sunny, I do have political ties. *points at a row of ties on his tie rack with depictions of aborted fetuses*

Got those from John Podesta.

2022-05-24 [Mortified Penguin]: WHO PUT THIS SPAGHETTI NOODLE IN MY RAMEN?! *angrily pulls an earthworm out of his bowl and throws it to the fish at table 5*

Someone should really do something about the plumbing leak in this place. Someone other than me. I'm on break. *fires up the engine on his rowboat and drives ten feet over to the breakroom*

2022-06-05 [Sunrose]: Friends? NEVERRR
Jeebus I haven't had English grammar classes for 20 years, who cares :P

2022-06-05 [Yuriona]: No one who speaks English as a first language I'm sure. *nods sagely*

2022-06-07 [Pied Crow]: Huh? lt's not about grammar, it's about knowledge! Are you a sunrise or a flower?

2022-06-10 [Sunrose]: Technically a sunrose is a succulent plant. If I were the verb sunrise, then I made a typo in my name? :P

In any case, I'd go for the plant because it describes me pretty well:
"Prostrate, scrambling succulent herb with small rose-pink flowers and dark green, heart-shaped leaves. A garden escape with considerable potential to invade coastal dunes. Forms mats and can smother native ground covers."

2022-06-10 [Pied Crow]: Ah, so you are a plant. Neat! My dumb joke is satisfied.

2022-06-11 [Mortified Penguin]: *slowly draws the window curtains looking out over his prized coastal dunes*

2022-06-15 [Sunrose]: I don't have a good sense of jokes, ask Pubky...I always ruined his.. :P

*sees creep staring out the window*

2022-06-20 [Pied Crow]: What the hey? I thought we were getting a dot net, not a dot EU.

2022-06-20 [Mortified Penguin]: Gross, this place smells like Europeans now.

2022-06-20 [Mortified Penguin]: At least it's easier to remember than elftown.lysator.liu.se used to be. But who took the elftown.eu URL?! Now I have to go trash their site and establish a new Bob's Diner branch.

2022-06-20 [Mortified Penguin]: Their admins and rules MUST BE DISRESPECTED.

2022-06-25 [Sunrose]: Nobody took it yet, as far as I'm aware.
It always smelled like Europeans here, that's why there were so many arguments with you sensitive conservative Americans :P

2022-06-27 [Mortified Penguin]: I recall no such arguing. Only happy times and everyone getting along. Except [Paul Doyle], he was always bullying people with his fire and hoarding their gold. And that [nokaredes] guy was always trying to scam people out of their pensions.

2022-06-28 [Pied Crow]: Hmmmm? Did someone mention dragon characteristics?

2022-06-28 [Mortified Penguin]: Yeah, [Sunrose] did. Weirdo is always rambling on about dragons and cloacas and vore and all kinds of sick, degenerate stuff. It's disgusting. *angrily spits in a customer's food and goes back to browsing e621 for the latest inflated cub explosion gore and giraffe decapitation porn*

2022-06-30 [Sunrose]: I only learned today that Europeanised actually refers to something else lol.. anyway stop making fun of my feisty character! Also, this url-shift broke a lot of buttons and images!

2022-06-30 [Pied Crow]: I could've sworn the images were fine on the first day, but... Anyway, rawr! I like feisty dragons! They make me say, "Rawr!"

2022-06-30 [Hedda]: A lot of images wasn't working, but I fixed it with the interesting bug that you can't write elftown.eu (ELFTOWN.COM should work) without it looking like elftown.eu

2022-07-03 [Mortified Penguin]: Just don't go fixing the other bugs I like to use. As Elftown's self-proclaimed Vice Mayor, I need those bugs to do my job.

And speaking of bugs, what would you like to order? We have a wide variety of soup-flavored bowls ready for scraping. And each spoon comes with a unique flavor, guaranteed to confuse and bewilder your taste buds! Starting at only 49.99 units of currency, you can get a gently used bowl and spoon pairing AND a free, complimentary glass of our premium tap water at no extra charge (other than the service fees, handling fees, and fee calculation fees)!

2022-07-04 [Pied Crow]: Hmmmmm... Hmmmm... Do the fee calculation fees have calculation fees?

2022-07-04 [Mortified Penguin]: Of course they do, all this calculating takes a lot of my time and my time is very valuable.

*goes back to stabbing holes in an eraser with his pencil and staring absent mindedly out the hole in the wall*

2022-07-08 [Pied Crow]: Hmmm, I see. Have you ever tried stabbing holes in the wall with your pencil and staring absentmindedly at an eraser?

2022-07-10 [Rambert]: *busts in through the wall kool-aid man style* OHHHHH YEEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHH (found the new website)

2022-07-11 [Mortified Penguin]: YOU SPILLED KOOL-AID ON MY EXPENSIVE CARPET.

*points angrily at the gnarled body of a dead goat drenched in its own blood*

*sighs and hurls the carpet into the meat grinder (last cleaned: October 2007)*

2022-07-11 [Pied Crow]: Hey, I was gonna use that carpet as a prop for my upcoming kaiju video! Now what will I lay out for his big entrance?

2022-07-13 [Mortified Penguin]: THIS ISN'T A MOVIE SET! GET BACK WORK!

*smashes Crow over the head with a boom mic*

THAT CORN ISN'T GOING TO COB ITSELF!

2022-07-13 [Rambert]: *giggles while brushing off bits of drywall* and you're sure that it cannot? corn can literally do anything.

2022-07-13 [Sunrose]: What bugs...hmmm? :P

2022-07-13 [Mortified Penguin]: Shh. It's just Vice Mayor stuff, nothing to be concerned with.

*goes back to meticulously gluing corn to a cob*

2022-07-13 [Pied Crow]: @_@ *shakes off the concussion*

I've actually already started some back work this week. I've started lying my back on a pillow as I sleep, and it's made me toss and turn a lot less now. Appreciate the concern, though, Mort-bird.

2022-07-15 [Rambert]: *in a very annoying sing-song voice* Mort likes bu~ugs, Mort uses the bugs to do his evil bidding...

2022-07-15 [Mortified Penguin]: IT'S NOT EVIL. Petty larceny is barely even a sin. It's only worth like 25 Hail Marys and 10.5 Our Fathers.

*starts pulling his rosary out of his ass, while a large cockroach steals [Pillowthief]'s watch*

2022-07-16 [Pied Crow]: Really? How many of these lantern flies are employed by you, Mort-bird? They're seriously troubling.

2022-07-17 [Sagacious Turkey]: *looks up from laying eggs on a Chinese sumac plant on the side of the road near some woods in rural New Jersey*

*glares threateningly*

2022-07-18 [Chaotix Palidien]: Ribbits o.o

2022-07-18 [Mortified Penguin]: *ribbits louder and extends his throat flesh*

2022-07-18 [Yuriona]: Get a room you frogs! The pond is for fish! *shoos mystery amphibians from an overflowing sink*

2022-07-21 [Pied Crow]: *rides in on a giant turtle*

Did someone say there's a fish pond?

2022-07-23 [Rambert]: *de-evolves into a single-celled organism*

2022-07-25 [Sunrose]: There was actually a time you were more than a single-cell organism?

2022-07-26 [Pied Crow]: *giant turtle disappears, his joke having failed*

I don't think I've even seen this Rampart before, but l guess 2004 is a long time ago.

2022-07-26 [Mortified Penguin]: *rides in on a giant turtle*

*the entire audience erupts into a mass paroxysm of mirth and begins raucously clapping and whistling*

2022-07-26 [Mortified Penguin]: *the laughter turns to screams of horror as the giant snapping turtle lunges forward and bites Tiny Tim completely in half*

2022-07-26 [Mortified Penguin]: *Tiny Tim's assorted entrails begin slithering out of his body*

"Oh, criminy! My entrails!"

*nobody is paying attention anymore, because Tiny Tim dies like twice a day*

Anyway, so how about those single-celled organisms, huh? Like yeast. There's probably a joke in there somewh-

"CRIMINY! OH, CRIMINY!"

SHUT THE FUCK UP, TIM, I'M TRYING TO COME UP WITH A HILARIOUS YEAST INFECTION JOKE.

_{^{"Criminy! Oh, gosh heck!"}}

2022-07-29 [Pied Crow]: Tch, man, how does he do that, l did everything exactly the same... ... Was it because l didn't let the turtle do the talking?

2022-08-02 [Mortified Penguin]: Yes.

*the brave giant snapping turtle continues feasting on Tim's corpse*

2022-08-02 [Mortified Penguin]: LESS THAN A MONTH UNTIL THE END OF THE FRISCAL YEAR.

2022-08-02 [Mortified Penguin]: SLIGHTLY MORE THAN A YEAR UNTIL THE END OF THE NEXT FRISCAL YEAR.

2022-08-02 [Tekkon KinKreet]: here is my semi annual comment.

Comment

2022-08-03 [Paul Doyle]: *wanders through, freshly lobotomized* *actually, that was an improvement*

2022-08-04 [Madhalf Heatlump]: The wind howled and the rain turned the streets into rivers. Lights flickered on an off before finally dying altogether. All lights, that is, but the lights of this fine establishment I see before me... "Don't Give Me No Chive Burger (served with no chives)". Bob's Burgers. Mmmmmmm

2022-08-05 [Mortified Penguin]: Lights? We haven't paid the electric bill in over twen- OH GOD, THE KITCHEN IS ON FIRE AGAIN!

*does nothing about it*

*goes back to gluing new fingers onto his hands*

2022-08-08 [Sunrose]: Jeebus, do you just slap open the dictionary and pick random words to use? Never heard of some of these :P

2022-08-08 [Yuriona]: *peeks out of broom closet*

*peeks back into broom closet*

*wonders how many more giant turtles will fit inside broom closet*

2022-08-09 [Mortified Penguin]: That's a gelastic, fallacious asservation, you callipygian doxy!

*tries to slap [Sunrose], but stumbles and misses, causing five dictionaries, two thesauruses, and an entire abacus to fall out of his shirt pocket and tumble to the floor*

2022-08-09 [Mortified Penguin]: I will not stand for this abuse!

*sits down*

Okay, continue.

2022-08-09 [Pied Crow]: *steals one of the thesauruses*

Hmmm, I see, I see...

*pilfers the abacus*

Yurioni, we could utilize this abacus to estimate how great a sum of embiggened testudines can fit within the closet's volume.

2022-08-10 [Yuriona]: I don't see how my fine ass has anything to do with this. And I'm no doxy thou ruttish, shard-bone, death-token! I'm more of a trollop really. Now be off before thy tom-foolery vexes me further, you cod-piece sniffing lout.

*stares at abacus* Wait... you mean this beaded, wood craft thing left over from summer camp is actually useful?

2022-08-10 [Stephen]: <img:44166_1164557371.gif>

2022-08-11 [Pied Crow]: I mean, l guesssssss. It can at least help me remember where my count left off.

2022-08-11 [Mortified Penguin]: [Stephen], YOU WHORE. I TOLD YOU TO CLEAN OUT THE RAT TRAPS TWO YEARS AGO. BUT YOU DIDN'T. NOW WE HAVE TIGERS AGAIN.

Anyway, go clean out the tiger traps. *gestures over his shoulder at an enraged tiger thrashing about, a single paw stuck on a small glue trap*

2022-08-13 [Pied Crow]: Ah! Oh, no! Do l pay attention to the tiger or the turtles?!

2022-08-16 [Mortified Penguin]: *a shark erupts from the floorboards, consuming both the turtles and the tigers*

*it flaps its mighty shark fins and ascends up into the heavens*

*the local on-call sewage guy sighs and finishes his mug of beer, before donning his suit of armor and heading down to the septic tank in the basement once again*

2022-08-16 [Yuriona]: You let the shark fin soup get away!

2022-08-18 [Paul Doyle]: *the ghost of Steve Irwin floats in* "Crikey! That's an endangered shahhhk!"

2022-08-18 [Pied Crow]: ... l see.... l pay attention to both...!

And then, the sharky.

2022-08-18 [Yuriona]: watch out for the jaws

2022-08-18 [Mortified Penguin]: The jaws run the banks and the media.

2022-08-18 [Paul Doyle]: Ghost Steve Irwin says: "What beauuuutiful snappy-snap jaws! Such a gorgeous choice for soooup!"

2022-08-19 [Pied Crow]: Let me think about that, hmm...... Hey! Don't be mean to the sharky! I'll only accept something bigger than the sharky being mean!

2022-08-25 [Mortified Penguin]: *an even bigger shark bursts in and politely waits in line, while staring at the menu above the register*

I TOLD YOU PEOPLE THAT I'M ON BREAK. *angrily taps the sign on the register that says, "In accordance with state law, we are required to tell you the country of origin of our fish."*

2022-08-31 [Mortified Penguin]: LAST DAY OF THE FRISCAL YEAR.

2022-08-31 [Yuriona]: And?

2022-08-31 [Mortified Penguin]: AND YOU HAVEN'T FILED YOUR TAXIES (YES, TAXIES) WITH OUR SECRETARY (YES, SECRETARY). YOU WILL BE AUDITORED (THAT WAS A TYPO, I MEANT 'AUDITED').


Year 04/05 05/06 06/07 07/08 08/09 09/10 10/11 11/12 12/13 13/14 14/15 15/16 16/17 17/18 18/19 19/20 20/21	Comments 9709 3870 3065 5676 4309 2879 5259 1697 0984 0756 0394 0177 0384 1677 0471 0285 0118	Average 26.6 cpd 10.6 cpd 08.4 cpd 15.5 cpd 11.8 cpd 07.9 cpd 14.4 cpd 04.7 cpd 02.7 cpd 02.1 cpd 01.1 cpd 00.5 cpd 01.1 cpd 04.6 cpd 01.3 cpd 00.8 cpd 00.3 cpd	Total Comments 09709 13579 16644 22320 26666 29545 34804 36501 37484 38240 38634 38839 39223 40900 41371 41656 41774	Total Average 26.6 cpd/9709 cpy 18.6 cpd/6789 cpy 15.2 cpd/5548 cpy 15.3 cpd/5580 cpy 14.6 cpd/5333 cpy 13.5 cpd/4924 cpy 13.6 cpd/4972 cpy 12.5 cpd/4563 cpy 11.4 cpd/4165 cpy 10.5 cpd/3824 cpy 09.6 cpd/3512 cpy 08.9 cpd/3237 cpy 08.3 cpd/3017 cpy 08.0 cpd/2921 cpy 07.6 cpd/2758 cpy 07.1 cpd/2604 cpy 06.7 cpd/2457 cpy